Not everyone can be alpha. Just accept that you're a beta.

[The Gambler]

Mr. Jibbles,

I have learned over the years that everything is relative.... For example, how many guys were hot-shot athletes at their high school of 400 students, then moved on to college and were barely good enough to make the team? We all have our own versions of this. What I say is don't even try to compare yourself to anyone else, unless you are strictly doing it within the context of SELF-IMPROVEMENT. The you of today should be compared to the you of six months ago... THAT is how your progress should be charted. Of course, being drug-free now, you may think you've taken a few steps backwards... But you have not.

I am older than you, and married, but I have a wife whose personality fits mine almost perfectly. We are both naturally quiet, introverted people who have learned how to take control and deal with situations in our jobs and families when necessary.

Maybe things are different with younger women these days, but I doubt it... I still believe there are many young ladies out there where playing the "full game" simply is not required. I see it here all the time... "She's a great girl, we have nothing but good times and great communication, she gives me my space and has other interests.... Should I go NC for a month???"

Keep looking for the type you really want, because she is out there. I have one, and you will too one day. Learn more about C-Type personalities... a gal like that would be a great fit for you.


The Gambler

 

[nismo-4]

Just get physically and financially fit to become alpha. If you're beta, do what you can to get socially fit.

Case closed.

 

[Voice]

Of course you can be alpha.

Here's how: Don't take disrespect from anyone and know that NOBODY is inherently better than you. Betas would let themselves be subjugated by someone who they perceive as better/cooler/funnier/smarter than them. Fvck that. NO ONE is inherently better than you. Be a leader and if no one wants to follow you then WHO CARES, be a one man wolf pack. Don't yield to anyone. Be unapologetically YOU and fvck anybody who doesn't like it.

You can be the nicest, nerdiest geek on the Yale chess team but as long as you don't take any sh1t from anyone and be unapologetically YOU then you are alpha.

Of course nice guys can be alpha. The key is to have boundaries. You just have to have the capacity to NOT be nice when the situation calls for it. If you value your own self-respect highly then this shouldn't be a problem.

 

[st_99]

This entire thread is pointless until someone can specifically define 'alpha'. Only then can you move onto figuring out if you can become one.

 

[GoalsActionsResults]

Not to get into a debate about "Alpha/Beta," as it could go on forever, but I think that Alpha (in the context of getting better results with women) is not about "Social Rank/Social Status/Money/Career/Fame/High Status Job/High Power Job/Leader/Mr. Social/etc." An Alpha can have these things or not. A Beta can have these things or not.

I know guys who have what are viewed as some of the most Alpha Jobs there is (Powerful Position, Leader, Very High Social Status, Have Expensive Things, Make A Lot Of Money, Are Famous) and in this role of their JOB they ACT as Alpha as F**k and even in their own mind they pretend they are Alpha while they are doing this job and basically everyone views them as therefore being an "Alpha Man." However, when they are not doing their career and they within themselves as they really are they are NOT genuinely Alpha (even though they have the JOB and all those other things). They are internally insecure/weak/s*xually self-repressive/have overly sensitive feelings/often complain in a whiny or overly upset tone/and they cannot deal with women in a masculine s*xual way.

A real Alpha Male (not in the context of a Career and all those other things, but in the context of with women and within HIMSELF) has an inner-strength, an inner-s*xuality that women can sense and are attracted to, and has an inner-masculinity (when dealing with women and within himself). Other guys can become more like an Alpha Male (in the context of women and not talking abot career in this example). But, what often happens is because guys don't even know how to define an Alpha Male, they will read something incorrect on blogs where the author (who is not Alpha) does not know what they are talking about, and they try to go to another extreme by being a angry/mean/idiot, however that's not what an Alpha Man is either.

There is nothing really wrong with being a Beta and most guys are. But, often Beta's constantly complain, instead of making some improvements (in the context of being able to meet and deal with women) and to be happy living their own lives.

 

[Zarky]

After months and months of trying

Wow, I spent months and months playing tennis and I still can't beat Roger Federer. Guess I better quit!

 

[Somedude_UK_31]

OP I'm gonna prove you wrong, I'll be back in a few months
Besides, alpha is relative term.
I personally don't want HB8 or 9 or 10, I don't like the headache. To me becoming alpha is getting girls I WANT, usually I find HB7 attractive because not only they are cute enough, but they are also pleasant to be with.

 

[MrJibbles]

However, when they are not doing their career and they within themselves as they really are they are NOT genuinely Alpha (even though they have the JOB and all those other things). They are internally insecure/weak/s*xually self-repressive/have overly sensitive feelings/often complain in a whiny or overly upset tone/and they cannot deal with women in a masculine s*xual way.

A real Alpha Male (not in the context of a Career and all those other things, but in the context of with women and within HIMSELF) has an inner-strength, an inner-s*xuality that women can sense and are attracted to, and has an inner-masculinity (when dealing with women and within himself).

That's actually a really good description. That was what I was trying to explain. When I used to take the benzos (which, by the way, were prescribed to me by my psychiatrist), I would literally have no fear/anxiety whatsoever and would approach and talk to whoever I wanted to. I was no longer vigilant and timid, my emotions were blunted and I became extremely aggressive and unbounded. I would hit on girls whenever I could. I had no shame. Women could sense it, and they responded positively. Many were intimidated. I had never been like this before I took them.

Now that I'm returning to my normal self, I've realized that my personality was not a result of an outward manifestation of confidence from my accomplishments and experiences, but just who I was. I had low levels of certain neurotransmitters in my brain, and the pills helped bring them up to a comfortable, functioning level. Even if I had a high-paying job, girlfriend, nice car, etc. as am I right now (clean), I would still feel more 'alpha' and socially-confident even if I was broke and unemployed but on the benzos. Take mass shooter George Sodini, for example. He was a well-payed computer programmer with good social status and extremely fit from a highly-disciplined workout regiment. But deep down, he couldn't relate to women at all. I'd rather be a charming starving artist then a George Sodini.

The thing is, GoalsActionsResults, I am definitely sexually-repressed. You are definitely right about that. I wondered for so long why I had become like that, then realized, when observing my parents after a long absence, that some of their sexual-repression rubbed off on me as a kid.

Ever seen your parents after a long time, and realized that, even though you thought you were raised pretty normally, they are actually a quite 'off' in many ways? Especially as an only child, my introverted, asexualized dad became my main role model for masculinity. That is to say, he was not masculine at all. I don't want to place all the blame on him, but he certainly played a major role. After seeing him interact with other people, I realize he is painfully introverted, emotionally-unavailable, and completely oblivious to social cues. He has no charm or masculine demeanor to him WHATSOEVER. He is passive and overanalytical, kind of like me. In addition, he can barely hold a conversation, and 90% of his conversation responses consist of "Oh yeah?", "Hmm.", and awkward silences. In the first 15 minutes that I saw him when he came to visit, he managed to use the word "efficiency" in 3 or 4 different ways. He is honestly like a robot. Indulgent self-pity aside, I am just trying to explain it as objectively as possible.

With that considered, I want to reverse the social conditioning that was instilled in me for so long, instead of just accepting that I'll always be like this. My social presence is exactly my dad's, even some of the phrases I uses are the same as his. I have picked up extremely poor social habits from him over the years, all of which are unproductive in attracting women and even winning friends.

I am just wondering, can anybody give me advice as to how I can reverse such conditioning without the use of mind-altering drugs? I don't really have a role model to emulate masculine mannerisms from.

 

[bigneil]

Cordoncordon... where have I heard that name before? Oh! I know! He's one if one the as*holesl who was telling everyone for months that I would never have sex with the stripper again (note that she and I had sex last week). Thanks for the advice Cordon.

Cordon is the guard from Dr. Who that will always tell you a lie, so you should always do the exact opposite of what he says.

Delusional people gonna delusion.

One thing Alpha males don't do is follow other men around and try to prove that the other men are not alpha.

You see, if Mr. Beta himself CordonCordon, who sends pictures of himself in his underwear to other SS members, had ever been a good looking guy he could have related to what I was describing (a true story of one Saturday night when I lived in Dallas four years ago).

However, CordonCordon (who let's face it, is both bisexual and attracted to me) was never good looking enough to witness what it's like to be in a small town where 90% of the women are attracted to you. My point was that it's quantity versus quality, and nothing to brag about.

As I've said before, there is no concept of Alpha online. However in real life, being over 6 feet tall, making over $100K and being heterosexual (sorry Cordon) I am the penultimate Alpha male. Alpha males know they are alpha males. It's not delusional to state the facts. Until one of you can take me in a fight AND earn more AND pick up more women, you won't convince me otherwise.

Being alpha doesn't mean you don't have problems with women. You have the same problems, only with hotter women.

 

[floydb25]

Nice post. I think the problem lies in what people are attracted to. A lot of people are attracted to fake, so they become fake to attract fake - only to find themselves surrounded by fake people, and generally feeling shallow and fake themselves. Not worth it, and people tend to over-exaggerate, generalize, and assume too much - based on failure. They THINK that because being x and y didnt work to attract h and k - means they have to become w and z to attract anyone, ever. Usually a lot of bitterness leading to judgemental views based on the specific type of person they are attracted to that causes this.Then, when becoming fake to attract fake (or ******* to attract *****) works, they conclude that its as black and white as they suspcted. Hogwash.

I did the same thing you did, pretty much. Its not that i couldn't pretend forever but it wasnt worth it. These people who were attracted to what I I was potraying weren't worth it. Like you said, the underlying traits were still running the show - mostly in the form of insecurity . I wanted the fake hot chicks due to codependancy, approval seeking, wanting the prize, being considered the man amongst, and accepted by peers - that I would tolerate any amount of BS, and be something I wasnt just to get it. Pretty sad really. Doing all that **** just to fit in and be recognized. And thats how a LOT people are in these scenes. Even this forum, and how the people are trying to be.

**** it. Just be you, attract what you are, and dont give a **** about what people want or respond to or find attractrive. Who cares ; its not that important unless you make it out to be, and have underlying issues that need to be adressed. Overthinking and changing your entire being just to attract another flawed, normal human being isnt very healthy. Nothing special about anyone, so stop tryin to win them over. Youre still doing it; just on a different level as before. Youre still seeking approval. K Knock it off.

Generally, there are plenty of real people who find you attractive enough,and arent into the whole alpha status pimp wagon train, or even give a **** about any of this game / player / shallow crap, you just dont notice thm because theyre not fake or difficult enough. But thats your own damn craziness at fault. So yea, stop being crazy, *******s! And change who you associate with, if theyre all about the stupid ****.

Im writing this on the PS3 so it outprobably looks like ****. But i dont care. EMPOWERMENT, *****es. Now back to Skyrim like a real alpha.

 

[Trump]

Some men were just meant to be "nice guys." Not everyone can be the charming, charismatic alpha that women are naturally drawn to. Some guys just have a personality that emotionally turns on women, while others are too sensitive/analytical/timid to really attract most women. I fall under the latter category. If you even begin to think you really do too, just accept it. Accept yourself. Not everyone can have the most attractive women. Stop fighting your natural tendencies. Settle for what you were meant to deserve in life. That doesn't mean at least try to go after what you want, but realize that your fantasy of becoming some popular super-g pimp even though you're really a geek is your ego talking, not reality.

What the heck type of thinking is this? I can't blame you though, you are still young and have to mature...I used to feel the exact same way at your age.

Don't accept or assume anything. You can't let the Market bring you down and screw up your thinking, you have to go kick its ass and then some. People always want to bring you down, tackle your insecurities, exploit your weaknesses, make you soft, just so they can feel better about themselves and crush you later on. Can't let it happen, you have to always protect yourself, fight back, push to the limit. Otherwise you'll just "exist" and people will know they can use you.

With girls...yes you can't go from beta to alpha in 24 hours. But you can work out, make more friends, dress better, get social value, make money, be the guy people like.

If that's not you, that fine, but then don't complain that you cant get any action from girls. Whether you are comfortable or uncomfortable, you have to do what turns them on - that how the Market works.

 

[floydb25]

Id also argue against the 90 to 10 percent theory. Its actually the 10 percent that you are fixated on (ex the fake, hot, status obsessed types) who are seeking after the 10 percent of the same things. Again, all of these theories are based on the type you are attracted to. Namely the hot, exciting, thrill seeking ones. These people who catch your eye and make your **** hard are in the minority - you just view them as the majority because its all you are focused on and attracted to.

Youll find a lot of dating articles and theories are in direct relation to the shallow hot chicks. Mass game and certain traits are required to attract these types because its all their lives consist of. Theyre all about it - like the folks on here are. Its still the minority when you look at all of the normal people out there. You just get caught up in this mess by associating with a certain crowd or type. Just because its all you want doesnt mean thats all there is. Most people seriously dont care. The same ones you probably avoid, because they dont fit your ideals or share the same mindset and lifestyle (ex fake and shallow;part of theplayer crowd, etc).

Realistically, I always had WAY more opportunities as a normal beta. There was no lack of interest in the nice guy. But I wanted someone extraordinary / fake because it was more exciting challenging sexual etc. If that 10% is what you want - the 10% you have to be. This isnt unfair - its realistic . Too many spoiled people who expect everything by having the bare minumum. Wahhhhh the hot party girls only want exciting alpha males. 10% for the 10% .Fair deal, no? Dont cry, if you want the same things you are *****ing about is also after the same things. ex You normal guy wants exciting hot girl who seeks hot exciting guy. The only one who doesnt belong, complains, and feels entitled in this equation is you. It always comes back to you. Its up to you to decide, but dont complain when you have to be x to attract y. Thats what you want so thats what you have to be to get it.

I think its pointless to be something youre not to attract someone youre not even gonna like. It just seems good because its out of your reach. But garbage is still garbage. Its not worth it, they arent worth it.

To quote the song Nutshell by Alice In Chains "If I cant be my own, I'd feel better dead".

 

[Packers2010]

op. to me. .you have go to the EXTREME other end of the scale and that's not good either..

the thing is. alpha is just a term betas made up to describe what there not. an excuse WHY they don't don't get girls. in reality it means nothing. you should just try better your self each and every day. become stronger a better person.

 

[Rubirosa]

Of course you can be alpha.

Here's how: Don't take disrespect from anyone and know that NOBODY is inherently better than you. Betas would let themselves be subjugated by someone who they perceive as better/cooler/funnier/smarter than them. Fvck that. NO ONE is inherently better than you. Be a leader and if no one wants to follow you then WHO CARES, be a one man wolf pack. Don't yield to anyone. Be unapologetically YOU and fvck anybody who doesn't like it.

You can be the nicest, nerdiest geek on the Yale chess team but as long as you don't take any sh1t from anyone and be unapologetically YOU then you are alpha.

Of course nice guys can be alpha. The key is to have boundaries. You just have to have the capacity to NOT be nice when the situation calls for it. If you value your own self-respect highly then this shouldn't be a problem.

I really like this ...I'll rep you for it....

This alpha subject comes up so often....As I've said before, unless you're in some kind of Lord of the Flies/caveman situation, there's too many varibles in modern society to define "alpha".