NorwegianDJ's journal of personal growth

Watawata

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2012
Messages
229
Reaction score
2
that sucks! Hope you get better quickly
 

NorwegianDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 8, 2010
Messages
2,560
Reaction score
82
Roadtrip!

Currently sitting on a train traveling from San Francisco to Denver, a 36 hour train ride in total. In the last 2 hours as of writing. There's no wifi and rarely 3G, but Im coping.

Allow me to write from memory. I last remember doing an entry halfway through my hospital stay, so I'll start from there and do my best.

I woke up with blood in the tube, which turned out to be expected. Hospital life is really chilled if you have a laptop. Watch series all day, try not to move due to all the tubes, take breaks from the oxygen supply that you don't really need, only to pick your nose of nasty big dry boogers. Life really wasn't all that bad.

Eventually the tube came out, but my lung, or pulminary space, or both – both actually – hadn't healed as much as expected. I sneezed just after the nurse took it out and it sounded like I farted through my lung (into the bandages of course!) Nice warm air being pushed out. Felt funny.

They even had me walk around with the tube in, which wasn't all that bad once I'd gotten out of bed, which was hard enough. It really wasn't the pain that kept me in check, it was what I imagined the pain implicated; I didn't want further injuries. Same goes for the IV, which I learned to ignore more and more as time passed.

Eventually, after a good 6-7 days, I was released into the harsh winter. Turns out exams are 5 days away, so heh. I chill for 3 days, then start studying.

Did I say I took adderall earlier when writing this essay? I took it again, but both times very ineffective. I wanna try some proper add.

Passed math. Havent checked the other subjects, but I know I did fine. 89% on Humanities Lit.

Overall exams week was relaxing. I actually got a Hearthstone Beta key the saturday before exams, so that's what I did.

My insurance company – whom have been paying for all the medical stuff – decided flying home was too much of a risk, so I had to stay in the US. Mom came over and we went on a roadtrip.

Boulder to Santa Fe, to Monument Valley, to Grand Canyon, to Las Vegas, to LA, to San Francisco, a total of 2-3 weeks.

Vegas was super cool, but I naturally didn't get to go out or do anything exciting during this whole trip.

Met this guy from HSPua in LA. Walked around for like 8 hours, which killed my left foot for legit 1 week. Super fun. A couple of approaches, but nothing noteworthy.

LA is definitely somewhere I want to return to. Visited a few friends of my mother's on our way to, and in SF.

Traveling with the mother is not my style. She likes to be a tourist – to see tourist things, this and that, and lots of pictures. I prefer going to local places, meeting local people, and living their lives. Experiencing places, something very different.

On the previous note though, one of her friends had 2 girls, 16 and 17. Went to their place, then for Dim Sum, then to Stanford. Super fun. These girls are pretty too, and fun. I love how I wasn't feeling all that social, but I can naturally be a cool and funny guy, even without trying. Tonnes of fun talking with them, joking around, establishing flirting without outcome, how one should be with most, or all girls. Suddenly everyone had to go somewhere though, so we left and delivered the car. The older one messaged me on Facebook about how I had to come back “for a proper goodbye ;)” I told her I'd come pick her up in the future. I wanna chat a bit with these girls – they're fun.

Oh and NYE was super cool too. Nothing special, cause I was with mom.

Just passed the 34th hour on the train and we're back to the present moment.

I want to reflect upon the coming semester.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=210521

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=210221

I've scheduled so that I have tuesday and thursday off, which makes sense to me. I like feeling like I have time off. 5 classes on Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Some Anthropology class with film – a filler for core. Intro to cognitive Psych, Social Psych. Some easy math for core, and a writing class.

My academic goals are to get a 3.5 or better, so that I can maintain a good enough GPA to study abroad (literally my only motivator for good grades).

I'm sure I typed some of this out in the link above, but I don't have access to it as of writing.

Now that Im pretty much healthy again, I want to start working out properly. I want progress. I'll start out simple with bodyweight, then probably move onto the gym within a week. I might as well. Included in this goal is keeping an eye out for places to practice yoga, and to do more cardio towards the summer.

I'll type up more later. About to get off.

------

Okay, continuing from my hotel bed. Will be filling in the gaps.

I chatted a bit with Danielle once I got out and she came over. Ended up chatting for about an hour. Great girl - she'll be a good friend hopefully.

I need to get into the habit of meditating every day. Mom's leaving tomorrow (finally. I like being alone). And Im moving back in the following day, so Im planning to start meditating every morning, then possibly move it to evening or night once school starts.

I also want to do posture correction exercises, because my neck and upper back posture has been getting worse than before, and I suspect it may also be giving me headaches.

Oh and for those of you that haven't been graced with Alex's videos, check this out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EllpitYxkfg
 

NorwegianDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 8, 2010
Messages
2,560
Reaction score
82
2nd Semester

It's been a little while, but it's been a good while.

I settled in the dorms the morning after writing the last post. Slugged around for a couple of days as school drew closer.

At 7am I decided it was probably a better idea to stay up, to reset. Bed at 5pm, up at 8:30. Shave and shower. GOD IM AWAKE. I mean, 13-14 hours of sleep, how can i not!

Really enjoying my schedule so far.
10am Study of Culture and Gender through Film. Basically my human diversity credit. Should be a fun class.

11am Freshman writing Seminar. Beginner english course. Super chill. Small class. Some cool people, including Aisha, this Hawaiian girl I somewhat know. I struck up a conversation with her after class. Beautiful petite.

12am (Intro to?) Cognitive Psych. Chilled seminar. Professor is famous for rambling a lot, maybe a tad much for me, but nonetheless.

1am Social Psych. Great teacher. Again, lots of beautiful girls. Im interested in this class.

2am Deductive reasoning. Seriously easiest math course. Till I can convince myself of a good reason to learn advanced math, I'll refrain from it. Taking this for math credit and easy grades.

15 Credits all in all, Monday, Wednesday, Friday. 2 days off. I like it.

Most classes I meet someone new and strike up a conversation.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NucJk8TxyRg

Working on spending my time more effectively, which will be very important with this schedule.

Worked out for the first time in many months (half a year almost?) with Phil on Thursday, then again on Saturday. Death.

Went out on Friday, also first time in a while. Tried organizing predrinks, but didn't quite work out. Sofia stopped answering, but it turned out to be a problem with my phone. Chilled with Tiana in her room for an hour. Bailey and her friends weren't in her room, so it ended up being just Henrik, Phil, and myself dancing and drinking beers at Henrik's.

On the bus to main campus, I.. approach these 5 girls sitting down. Greetings, ask where they're headed. One girl is sweet, another is giving me so much ****. Literally, I forgot these girls exist, so it took me a bit by surprise. "Nice red pants, are you peacocking?" "You have REALLY high cheekbones.." to the straight up ignore. Hahahaha. It is nice though, honestly. I think she's a *****, but yet I understand her. At the moment, I was invested, so there was no way I was gonna walk out of it looking good, so after some feeble attempts, I walk back to the boys. Do some obnoxious chin ups on the bus, get off and head to a dorm.

Enter Henrik's girl's room, with her friend Jessie and a random girl. Quickly leave with Phil to take a piss. After taking a piss, we walk past this group of people. I start talking to one of the girls. They barely have time to recognize the accent before Phil tells the girls "He's a superstar" Cue pictures. Kisses on cheeks, talk about how I imitate my sister when taking photos. We're leaving.

Back upstairs, drink rum & coke. Jessie seems like a nice and pretty girl, more so than when I first met her. I go downstairs to Helle and chill with her as she gets ready. Take a selfie with two girls on some girl's mac. Hit up the bathroom, this one girl tells me how Im rocking the red pants. I wanna give her a hug for being so nice, but she's gone.

We eventually all leave and take a car to the party, which honestly is nextdoor.

Take a piss outside with Phil, while the girls are struggling to park. Take them to the party at ZBT and head inside.

Phil and I walk into a super crowded dancefloor. Grinding, sweat, dark. We decide to head upstairs to the rooms. Run into Sofia and Jessica up there, but lose them again immediately as we move on. Party party. Pretend to know all the songs, when we're really just full of gibberish. Get a bottle of whiskey from a guy. Have a sip each. PARTY ON!

- It's been a little while since I wrote the above, so I'll go through what I can remember.

Overall it was a great time; a fun night out.

At one point Phil and I were impromptu bouncers by the door. I ask this Asian guy, who turned out to be in the frat, if he was wearing a panda hat. At the moment, I thought he snapped, said it was a koala hat and that I was ****ing racist. Phil thought he was joking, who knows. I thought the dude was a complete tosser and told him to **** off. Some other brother overheard it and also flipped, getting security to escort us. We're chilled with it, but ask to get our jackets first. Once there, we just explained to them how silly they were being, so we stuck around for another 20 minutes or so. Got Phil some DJ connections and had another beer.

We actually ended up leaving with Henrik and his girl. Parted from them and went onward to the hill for some exploring!

Super fun to walk around. I actually end up telling him about my journal and such. He's a great guy, so it doesn't matter. Walk into APD and chill with the guys there. My drunken self shares Norwegian chocolate with everyone. Super weird actually.

Ultimate we end up going back just in time for the last bus. Meet Aisha from class there and give her a spinhug, and her two friends that I know. Chat with Phil on the way back, while she was resting her legs on mine. Good chat.

Spend another 1 hour or so chilling around Will Vill. Drink lots of water. Eventually head to bed.

Been working out with Phil for a week now. I seriously feel so much more fit! Although Ive lost a lot of strength, it also feels like.. it's always been there. Idk, my self-image has changed over the past week, so that's nice. Been meditating a bit too, but not as much as I'd like.

Looking into Studying Abroad, but I made the rookie error of not considering that my GPA counted on the day that I apply, not the day of the program, meaning, Im applying with my 1st semester GPA, instead of the intended 2nd Semester GPA. Hopefully I can still find a program I'd enjoy.
 

NorwegianDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 8, 2010
Messages
2,560
Reaction score
82
Turned out I couldn't find any programs, so I'm gonna stay here for another semester. This means that I won't get going abroad till this time next year, when I'll be going to UCT, Cape Town.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nk_WHHTQtY

Overall a nice week. Went to the hospital to check the lung. Turned out to be nothing wrong with it, just some scar tissue pain if anything. Still feeling a bit iffy about it though.

Cannot remember much from last week, I honestly think this is from this week. Let me get to last friday night!

Tonight I was DJing with Phil at Acacia, this frat. Went in his car and we picked up Jordan, this other Norwegian guy. Tall and very standard Norwegian. (I feel like I have such a Norwegian bias sometimes). I just don't like the supplicating behavior. Chilled at Phil's house and sorted out the sound and DJ equipment. Finally got my hands on The Ultramind Method, which Ive been meaning to read for a long time. Borrowed from his mom. My lung felt punctured, but party we shall!

On our way, we picked up Sigrunn, this Norwegian girl and her 3 girl friends. Introduced myself to all of them. Got off on a good footing, just chatting and such. Show up at the frat, sign in - a rush thing, and enter. Stash my bag with Rum with the guys in the shot room. Have a shot and make friends with a lot of guys there. See Sigrunn and her friends, proceed to kick it with them and some guys. I say she looks like Jennifer Lawrance, which she really does when I think of it.

Party is starting to get going. People are entering and the clock is approaching 11. Our set isn't before 11:30, so by this time Im running around and meeting people. Had a few shots here and there. This guy Nash from the frat takes me under his wing and repeatedly takes me for shots with girls. Takes me for my first beer bong, which went down surprisingly easy. People cheering and being the center of attention is always nice. I chat to several girls that I recognize.

Suddenly I see this girl that Im sure is my TA from Deviance. I had been talking to her on the bus and formed a good connection with her months prior. She gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek, which I returned. Didn't see much of her after.

In the basement with what must be 4000 Hz or whatever of sound. LOTS of sound. Take over the DJ set with Phil. Honestly it mostly consisted of him mixing and me pumping the crowd and pretending to do stuff. I tried to soak up as much as I could, but there's a limit to how much I can learn without the basic knowledge, so we'll take time for him to teach me.

Super fun though! Finished the set and went back upstairs again. Ended up chatting with some girl Phil knew. She would turn to Phil, tell him how cute I was (right in front of me) and then turn around to me, talk, and then repeat how cute I am. GG. Super fun and touchy interaction. She didn't want to do anything and I was honestly in no rush either. Got her contacts through Phil.

Head over to ZBT briefly. Im easily let in when a brother spots me. Casually walk around and see how it is. Pretty dead and it's only 12. Greet Henrik. Walk into this girl I know. She's been into me for a while, just never seen her. Hook up with her. She's stroking my pants. She's pulled away by her friend. Some guy says how he's sorry, something about friend. Super chilled, these things don't phase me anymore, but I should start pursuing more.

Back at Acacia. Play another set. Pretty standard party stuff. Been drinking quite a bit with the brothers and girls there. Nash takes me with another brother and another guy and shows us the rooms. They're super sweet. I'm considering rushing there, mainly because I need a backup plan for housing and the guys there seem cool. Pack up all our stuff, get bag, head home. Overall good party.

This week has been pretty good I think. Been mostly on top of my ****. Sorted out some international stuff regarding the job Im getting. On that note, when I showed up, a girl that started out with me greeted me. SHE LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE MY TA. I have no idea which one I met on friday. I'll ask her.

Meditating hasn't been done this week, but I think I'll get into it shortly.

Got myself Alpha Brain - a nootropics stack. Gonna be trying it out.

Dropping acid on saturday, which should be an experience.
 

NorwegianDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 8, 2010
Messages
2,560
Reaction score
82
Adventuretime!

This could be a long entry. I never got to write it, well, because Ive been fairly exhausted and it's a lot to get through.

LSD is crazy.

Was intending to take it with Tommy and Tyler, but Tyler did it 2 days prior, so it was only me and Tommy.

Rule #1: Always be more than 2, but less than, say, 8.

It's crazy how powerful such a little tab can be. We took two each. Ate breakfast and chilled in his apartment with his roommate. Tyler came by. We're playing Fifa and CoD. Lots of fun. Go outside and toke up a bit, because we're feeling extremely jittery. I took some notes on my phone that I'll include. Be ready for some weird ****, looking inside my mind.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlxkJXeH8gg

"The floaters in my eye can disrupt the extra lights from the christmas lights.

The lights have shadows. You see things that were always there, just not obvious

If I look at them [the lights] through phone screen then I can see rainbow colors red and green mainly. We're like 40 min in. Bit jittery. Lightheaded. Sober guy keeping me down. Scheistanger! (from fifa).

Hour 10 min. Light energy going throigh bodym light i feel so light! Best music.

20. Cinema club radio. 1975 Heart Out. Everything is happening to me at once. Im so happy. Tommy: I feel like butter

Its like Tommy and I have the same voice. The same mind. Everything is lik"

At this point Tyler and the room mate have left and it's just me and Tommy in the room. We're pretty much sprawled on the couch and floor. Acid taking effect. It's very hard to describe. All your senses are supertuned. Youre extremely affected by your environment. People's emotions become your emotions. You live the music you listen to. You understand it on a completely different level. I was feeding off Tommy so much that I had to put in headphones and tune him out.

#2 ALWAYS have music available. Calm and enjoyable music. I listened to Explosions in the sky radio.

With the same inputs and feeding off each other, Tommy and I had the exact same thoughts and did the exact same things. We started voice recording at the exact same second. It's ridiculous actually.

I included a part of the audio recording. Doesnt come through well through the PC, but it's aight. http://vocaroo.com/i/s1gzngRio5F6

I continued trying to take notes on my phone, but at this point, my thumbs wouldn't move fast, but rather very structured and to the beat. Phone screen started being weird.

"Im acting like I am in a cartoon.
Perfectly sane. My thumbs are acting like theyre not in my control. Tommy says hes not in this world.

Are things happening slowly

322pm. Emotions are one. Music is a nice way to touch. Writing doesnt work it all wants control. Im learning while traveling.. one of the most beautiful things of understanding if disbelieving."

It goes on, later:

It just doesnt work. Shades eberything is shifted 1 to the left. Perfect sense in future. Seeing how insecure he is makes me see myself. How we should give up on that. It comes in waves. Right now I can see the blood and tone of this when im writing it imaginging it and future gkove s9meone else this is ours confine from reality. Emotions key to everything. Emotions on basic how the music plays. Ill tell this. INCREDIBLE. LOST REALITY WHEN I LOSE Music. Amazing. So powe"

Obviously this makes no sense. Most amazing things happening inside my head though. Listening to music is so powerful.

However, things got weird with Tommy, so I decided to get the **** out of there. Called up Phil, but he was busy for another 30 min. Got hold of Tyler and met with him outside his dorm. Chill with im for like 5-10 min until Phil comes. Talk a bit with both of them outside. They look so alien. The colors in their faces are so exaggerated and it's disturbing. They look like they're poisoned and will die. Im so sensitive to colors. Sometimes they dont look human. I see how animals can view us and think we're weird. Check up on Tommy and then Phil and I head to his car.

Now, Phil has done this many times before, so he knows exactly what I'll enjoy. We talk a lot and he helps me try to explain the things that Im visualizing. It's impossible to talk, because you lose grip of what you were saying as you're saying it. We talk about thoughtloops. Amazing nature and lights. Great music. You have tonnes of knowledge, but you can't get it out. I see the birds in the sky and I can see the pattern they're flying in. Not only the patterns of a group of birds, but the whole flock, in a 3d formation. Truly amazing. I somehow linked it to polar orientation. At another point I either saw electricity flowing through those wires that carry a lot of electricity, or it was colors from the sunset. I realize how Im not 'the main character' in reality. It's rather that Im part of reality, where I have a certain perception of it. It kinda peeled away some of the very integrated beliefs I had, made me realize that even thought I think I know so much, Im bull****ting myself. I realized how I was rationalizing my stupid actions by my past excellence.

Phil asked me to try his glasses on. I have an epiphany. Wow. The world is not supposed to be this clear. What? WHAT? I have perfect vision, or so I thought. Turns out I don't. Everything is SO.. Clear. Crisp. Amazing. Made me realize how two people can look at the same thing and view it differently, without it even occurring to them.

Driving around with the fresh snow was beautiful. I kept trying to explain a certain epiphany, I still dont feel like I get it, but it makes a lot more sense.

At one point we got stopped by the police. Im freaking the fvck out. If I was in the driver seat, I'd be driving asap when the cop came up to the window. I felt how it was to have a panic attack. Nothing worked for 10 seconds. However, I handled it very nicely and just sat back, acting like a shy kid. The policeman was handed his mom's info (her car) and went to check it. We closed the windows and just went with it. Phil turned up the music and the red and blue flashing lights made it seem like a rave. We were jolling! I want to learn to produce music just to convey something like that.

We step out at his old school. Walk around and Im just finding everything so magnificent with the improved vision. Was so interesting thinking how different creatures view the world. Difference in senses and vision creates such different realities. Moreover, putting on glasses made 3D movies make sense. I always thought they looked a bit unrealistic, but with glasses, everything was like 3D in the movies!

Rule #3: Go with the flow. Be a yes man. Have an adventure.

He takes me for some food and then eventually back to the dorm, cause he has to set up for a party later that night.

Rule #4: Spend time in nature.

Intersting observations: Are socially awkward people oft wearing glasses, or are they socially awkward because they're wearing glasses? We noticed how wearing glasses makes you feel seperate from other people, puts up a barrier, and may make it hard to read body language and get eye contact.

"Before enlightenment, carry water, chomp wood; after enlightenment, carry water, chomp wood."

End of 4 hour Audio recording.

Rule #5: Let go of control.

Bad trips are learning experiences and happen when you fight the present.

The present is the only thing that exists. Thinking of anything else is completely absurd and even maddening. I had to stop writing notes because I couldn't deal with the idea of the future.

I kept having another realization. Leading and confidence and improvement. You have to actually take that jump instead of looking for favorable conditions; you have to start talking more and loudly, you have to risk it and do what you're afraid of, be it jumping in on the dancefloor alone. You have to do thing you dont want to.

I realized how that just because Ive done amazing things in the past, doesn't mean I can get away with not doing amazing things in the present.

Back in my dorm, Im disgusted. I don't like the air, it's stuffy. It's messy. I figure I don't have a choice but to stay here, no one else is available to have me over anyway. I can't trust myself to go outside at this point, Im still peaking. I take off my clothes and lay in bed with my headphones.

The colors and images appearing in my head are marvelous. I completely understand how inspiration and creativity comes to you. I saw the crazies concepts in artistic form. At times there was a rave inside my head with all sorts of colors and light patterns. The time passed unbelievably quickly. 2 hours passed. Roommate came back, left, came back. Bothered me a bit, but was fine. I noticed how I could talk to him and act fairly normal, even though I told him I was tripping. This meant I was starting to come down from my peak.

After he left I spent another hour or 90 minutes on the computer, listening to music and chatting with BPH and Pyro.

I talk about how the thought of going out right now is SCARY, since I work from moment to moment and cant predict how things will affect me. I know I'll be fine once I reach where I want to go, but going there is scary.

I look out the window, and it just appears to me. I visualize passionate life. I visualize myself being passionate every single day. Getting **** done. Learning new things, having a newfound zest. It's beautiful and it's simple. I realize that I need to enter that state of being.

I also realize how Im being a ***** with my newfound beliefs. Just because being relaxed with girls and being friends with them is great, doesn't mean it's acceptable. I need to be more forward and show intent with girls I like. It's like Ive regressed 2 years back. Show intent and girls will follow.

--->
 

NorwegianDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 8, 2010
Messages
2,560
Reaction score
82
I decide Im normal enough to head out. Put music on and head onto the bus. Step off. Walk through the streets towards the hill. Serene winter evening. Warm and cold lights (you can see distinct difference). I love warm lights now. It was almost like some movie where I walked through the paradise set. Not before long through, I find the place Phil's playing. Peace Pipe Hookah Lounge. Hah.

I walk in and end up standing in the door, looking at some indian hula - or whatever - dancer. Phil spots me and I go sit with him. He starts talking to some girls while I sit there without much engagement in anything. The music is bothering my and my lack of social value and ability is sinking in. Within 10 minutes, some other DJs come on and start playing stuff. It's not good and I find it hard to enjoy. Music is big. The place is filled with friends of Phil and random people. I caught the eye of this one pretty girl, but it wasn't like I was about to talk much in my state. I figure I should head out and look for some other adventure.

On my way back to the bus, under the warm lights, I find some group of freshmen celebrating this girl's birthday. They wave me in and not within long Im hugging all of them and taking pictures for them. They ask me to join them and I join their shenanigans. It's 5 girls and 1 guy. One girl just lost her aunt to suicide and is drunkenly devastated. They're trying to get her back to her room, all while being drunk spoiled brats about it. I dont mind. Im enjoying everything in the background, talking with some of them. Pick up a phone here and talk to another girl there. Even in my state I had a hard time tolerating their behavior and lack of sympathy. This one girl even tried to consolidate her with karma and ying and yang. What? It was along the likes of, "Maybe she deserved it, maybe it was her time" What. I just found it stupidly funny how these girls had certain biological and spiritual beliefs that made no sense and had distinct flaws in them, but allowed them to rationalize lacking intellect. I still very much enjoyed being with them.

We returned to the hill and actually went to where Phil was playing. This time around I felt even more normal and Phil had started playing now too. I found the music a lot easier to dance to. It came natural. Pretty much spent the next 2 hours or so dancing there with Phil, Sigrunn, her friend, and this DJ from Acacia, I keep forgetting his name. Good night.

Invited myself to be this girl's date for their Valentine's Dance. She never ended up calling me though, which fits me nicely anyway.

Packed up the stuff and drove home with Phil. Ended up laying in bed with music on for 2 hours at least before I finally fell asleep at sometime after 5:30

So that was it for the trip.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmxSxKxBbQE

Everything's been pretty normal since then. I changed a bit, but it's not much. It's all in the application, afterwards. It promotes change. I've made some improvements, but not all that I should, yet.

I need to clean up this room completely. Organize everything. Throw away ****. Vacuum and scrub.

Work out more vigorously. Eat more. For this I must buy more of my own food.

Meditate. I was inspired today to take this more seriously. I saw Mary Jane just as I got off the bus. I wasnt wrong about her. She has that spark in her eye, which makes her irresistible to me. I can get there. Passionate life.

Overall be more satisfied by my actions everyday. Push through more hard things. Effectively do work. Live passionately. It's only through hardship that we find happiness.

Watched a bit of the Superbowl at Ivar's house, but got bored and left with Sofia.

Had a good weekend also (mind that this is being written a week late - sorry).
Nothing much happened on friday, so watched Ender's Game at Chem 140 with Matias, Drew, and Qi. Chilled in my bathrobe on saturday.

Decided to go through with the frat thing. I need a place to live next year and thus far I like the guys there. So Im in one now. Pretty chilled. Was drinking and toked up a bit on sunday. Good fun.

Now back into the week. Started working last thursday. Spent legit 4 hours walking around in -20C fixing my papers, cause Im international.

That Hawaiian girl in my class, Ive decided to ask her out for Valentines. I was gonna do it today, but sadly she didn't show up. I'll ask her next time I see her, probably Wednesday. If she has plans, then, I suppose I could ask some other girls, or just skip it. Got an invite only party on that night too. Invite for guys and open for girls. Should be good. Phil and other friend DJing.
 
Last edited:

NorwegianDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 8, 2010
Messages
2,560
Reaction score
82
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jl7keidAvpU

Not much to tell from the week.

Enter Thursday though. Frat is having a Date Dash. Basically, dash to get a date, cause youre only told a few days in advance. We were told on Monday.

I wanted to take Aisha, this beautiful hawaiian girl Ive been hitting it off with in my English class. She doesn't show.

Wednesday. Class gets canceled. Im already prepared for this and remember she told me what floor shes on, like 6 months ago. I show up at her door. Ask her to come with me to this thing. She's obviously sick and declines on that basis. Even though she's sick, she's super ****ing cute and says she's flattered but she sadly cant. It's k and I move onto #2

Mary Jane. Havent talked to this girl in like 4 months. Ryan told me she had moved recently, so I found her place and knocked. She opens the door from her bed and is obviously super tired. For some reason she's not excited to see me. More like the opposite. Conversation ends quickly and I dont even bother asking her. Could've and should've asked though.

Move onto Dana, one of the first girls I met, but havent seen this semester. She doesn't answer her door, I move on. Should've checked back later. I did send her a message later, but turns out she has a broken foot, so I didnt bother with asking her.

Move onto Bailey. I sat down with Bailey and her friend for dinner one evening about 4-5 months ago. Remembered where she lived. She opens and is surprised to see me. She was being awkward at conversation, but she just needed time to get social. I join her inside and chat with her for a good 15 minutes. She opens up a bit, but she's still using her phone a fair bit, the behaviors Im not too fond of. However, she's even prettier than I remember her and I like her. I ask her if she has plans. Says she's gonna snowboard with her dad. I get her number and leave. Later text her if she was open night time, but no response.

Sofia couldn't cause she had some trouble with the police.

Halen had made plans with friends already.

Went to c4c with Phil to see if we found any girls I'd like to take. We found none, but made friends with this girl called Rachel. Good girl.

Went through my contacts, but nothing. Not feeling too lucky at this point. I end up sending Sigrunn a text and she's up for it. Great! I'd gone through 9 girls at this point, but I didn't mind, Sigrunn is a lot of fun.

Oh and work! I wanted to work at the Grab n Go, but got a split shift between upstairs and the grab n go. I dont like it upstairs. I do nothing. I get paid nothing. I learn nothing. I get paid **** money (literally a third of minimum wage in Norway) so that I can waste my time. Not worth it. I even have to stand for 3 hours straight, without any music, nothing, at one station. Nu uh. Being an entitled bastard, I obviously make my own rules to accommodate. I find myself a chair and have music in one ear. Supervisor gets a bit pissy, but he's a serious *******. No joke. I tell him I don't approve of standing for 3 hours straight. It's seriously not what I'd call good working conditions. I concluded I didn't want to work upstairs. Supervisor tells me he can't change my hours.

10 minutes into my shift and the grab n go and I get fired. Im super cool with it, cause Im pretty sure I wasn't allowed to quit anyway (international people problems). I get some studying done and head to the Date Dash.

I figure it's probably formal-ish, so I just suit up. I show up and everyone's in casual clothes. I drive back with Mitch and get myself proper clothes. Red pants, grey tshirt, brown/beige jacket to match my only shoes, of the same color. Somewhere along the way I lost my wallet. This never happens to me, but ehh.

Party eventually got rolling. Sigrunn shows up. Tad awkward in the beginning, but we get rolling. Cuffed together and handed a bottle of champage, the night begins. Play some drinking games. Sigrunn shows some of us how to play a pool drinking game. Beer pong. Finish Champage, get a bottle of wine. Night gets long. Roll around on the floor laughing. Eventually walk her home and then walk home myself. Good night.

Friday. Wake up and have my first midterm. I swear Im about to puke several times, but I persevere and finish. Im feeling very confident about it. Aisha again didn't show up for english. I head home and fall asleep. Watch a couple of episodes of Arrow. Finished it by now. Classic lazy day. Never really got out of bed and it was great. Decided to go party and got ready for it. Phil, who was DJing, lets me know that it got canceled just as Im heading out. Turns out they got too many noise complaints. I stay in.

HOLY **** ****
EVeryone
If you're using Chrome (seriously use Chrome), then if you close a tab, you can open it with CTRL SHIFT T. Just saved me from rewriting all of this.

Turns out we were supposed to show up at 9am to learn how to sing. I got the text at 2am. I head to bed. Cant sleep. Roomate is snoring and I had a long nap earlier. 3am. Yelling and rowdy outside the door. Police. I put on a bathrobe and check it out. Turns out my neighbor is getting arrested. Had a fight with his crazy girlfriend and either of them called the police. It's too loud to sleep through, right outside my door, so I chill there with them and Adam.

The police are being *******s though. I really am for police and viewing them positively, but the abuse of power was excessive. Will and Aiden join us and we have fun with it, listen in and film. The crazy gf is sent to jail and neighbor goes back inside. It's like 5am by this point. Cant sleep for another 30 min.

Decide to skip the 9am thing. Wake up at 1130. Chill and head over before 3.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4_bl8uTonQ

Show up and help set up for a beerpong tournament we're having. After a bit, quite a few people show up. I team up with Jordan as Team Pledge and start it off. We actually get to the final, where we got decimated. Met this guy called Josh. Instantly liked him. Reciprocated and he's really into the frat. End up hanging a lot with him and talking to people.

I havent eaten yet, so I go for dinner with Josh at the c4c. Meet 2 girls that I recognize and get their numbers. On our way back to the frat, I decide to have some fun. Follow some people heading into Chey-ho dorm and enter. Walk around the girls' floors and I knock on some doors. All the girls were nice, but I dont think it was anything special. Found Helle and chatted with her for a bit. Onwards.

Chill at the frat for a while and we're preparing for a pitch party. Eventually quite a few people show up and we almost get a 1 to 1 ratio, good considering it's just people who's invited and people that walk in. Have fun and talk to people. Nothing memorable. Was this pretty girl there called Madison or something. Eventually figured her story. Kieran, the guy that coordinates the pledge class' ex. She called herself a Sorostitute. Apparently she ****s the pledges, but not all of them. Could be something I could potentially look into. Depends. Overall good night.

Decide to call it a night and head home. Take the bus back with two girls that puke their asses off. They cant be helped, so I move out of the way. Chat with some people. Music.

Sunday. Show up at 12 to clean up with the brothers. Josh is there and gets a bid. Yay Josh. Great guy. We finish up and Trevor calls Jordan, Ryan, and myself downstairs. Sunday athletics apparently. He seriously kills us. Something that looked like a circuit of pushups, wall sits, burpees, planks. Killed me. Was straight for an hour or so. Almost no breaks. Couldnt do more than 3 pushups in a row by the end. Hyperventilated so I could finish with a streak of 4. Dead by a combination of exhaustion, a stretch of drinking, and lack of food. Eventually found the strength to go to the c4c. Ryan was very fit. I lack stamina both in cardio and physical work. Jordan's out of shape.

Eat with Jordan and Josh at c4c. Havent been that hungry in a long time. Huge meal. Great meal. Went home and tried to sleep. Didnt really work. Been chilling. Decided to go gym again at 7. Had a shake and like an 8th of a preworkout serving. Jordan decided to join. I had a good session. Preworkout worked well. Moving up with the deadlifts. Gave up on bench, did too many pushups earlier today. Did some upper back. Abs. Jordan did cardio. He didn't seem to work hard at all, but we all learn to challenge ourselves eventually. I respect that he went.

That's pretty much it. I feel that I'll get very fit and social in the near future. Asking out all those girls was a catalyst.

Most important action now will be to start meditating and maintain consistency with that and working out.

Oh and I love this excerpt from the Second Coming:

Turning and turning in the widening gyre | The falcon cannot hear the falconer | Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold | Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world | The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere | The ceremony of innocence is drowned | The best lack all conviction, while the worst | Are full of passionate intensity. — W.B. Yeats, The Second Coming
 
Last edited:

Jack Wealthy

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 6, 2010
Messages
824
Reaction score
10
Greetings Comus

What do you do when you're in bed? Could that be a possible time waster for you?

I'm loving the living. One thing I haven't seen you mention in a long time is guitar. How is that going? Your gym sounds great, consistency is good but could get better, sure you know that. Your voice as a writer is really developing also. Good work.

Keep it up.

Mature.
 

NorwegianDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 8, 2010
Messages
2,560
Reaction score
82
Jack Wealthy said:
What do you do when you're in bed? Could that be a possible time waster for you?

I'm loving the living. One thing I haven't seen you mention in a long time is guitar. How is that going? Your gym sounds great, consistency is good but could get better, sure you know that. Your voice as a writer is really developing also. Good work.

Keep it up.

Mature.
You suggest I sleep less, or start a polyphasic cycle?

I predict the guitar will be taken up again shortly. Played a bit the other day.
 

Jack Wealthy

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 6, 2010
Messages
824
Reaction score
10
Semi-polyphasic. I'd say just sleep less, that "8 hours thing" is a myth. Look up Swedish Sleep Institute, they're the cutting edge and say seven is plenty for our age.

I believe polyphasic is the best, but not that all-out involved style. I mean sleep six hours and have a nap at four, or sleep two three hour lots. Besides TV sleep is the biggest use of time wasting I see people do. TV. Movies. So useless...
 

NorwegianDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 8, 2010
Messages
2,560
Reaction score
82
I'll give it a shot. I need to nap more anyway.

Im feeling ****ing great! Nothing exceptional, but it's the makings of something.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmxSxKxBbQE

Pledgeship has gotten me out of the apartment and doing stuff. Not always things I feel like, but it has me being more social and being more active.

It has been like a catalyst towards passionate living. The goal being to always do something that promotes happiness. Or just always do something productive.

Day by day, not much to note. Classes, frat house, such. Been working out a lot. The weekly athletics at the house; working out with Kieran, our pledge educator; and partly continuing working out with Phil whenever I feel Im not sore that day.

Im seeing a lot of improvements. I'll be back to my previous PRs in no time Im sure. Im also looking bigger than I have before I think.

Greek week is coming up and we've been paired with what is apparently the hottest sorority, so that could be fun.

Im still severely bored with school overall and Im considering dropping out at some point. I sincerely do not see the point of it. I can learn anything for free anyway! If I can develop this kind of productivity, then Im certain I can achieve a lot of great things if I decide what to do with my time and where to go.

I love Alex's take on money pre-30s. Invest it back into yourself. In terms of experiences. Growth. Nothing else makes as much sense.

Things have been pretty stale with girls. Nothing forward nor backwards. I'll hit them up, cause formal is coming up in a month or so and I'll want to bring a date.

I've been partying a lot. Drinking 3 or 4 days straight and such. We were gonna have a registered party, but all the frats had to be dry for 2 weeks cause a lot of other frats ****ed up. Therefore we pulled back into the apartments. Brought Phil and Mattias. We partied there and later bounced to another 4 house parties. Chill night.

Henrik and Mattias want me to join them to to Puerto Vallerta and stay at Buenaventura. For anyone that remembers, that's where Beau stayed.

Senior Trip - Puerto Vallerta

So the best year of my life was coming to an end. In that year I had been captain of the football team, wrestling team and track team. I had received scholarship offers to several different schools, taken campus trips to many of them and decided upon a school to play football at. I had went from a pathetic virgin to the guy that took girls virginity. I had been in a relationship with "the most popular girl" and dumped her after sleeping with her best friend. I had essentially become a real azzhole, but I'll be damned if I didn't have a great time in the process, although there were times when the newfound "fame" had caught me off guard and I stayed in my room for an entire weekend hiding out from the world.

I remember heading down there on the airplane, my buddy Scott had brought a little CD player with detachable speakers and burned porn theme music to play over and over again. We had snuck on vodka and our area of the plane was the center of the action. Erin (popular girl) and I decided to join the mile high club, even though we hadn't been together for several weeks (on again, off again) and by the time we were landing, I knew my life was headed down an amazing path... but I didn't know I was about to meet "her".

After landing, we grabbed our bags and headed to our hotel. The Buena Ventura! In the process, somehow I ended up sharing a room with Erin, her best friend and my best friend at the time, Alex. Immediately I informed Erin that we weren't an item during this trip and she was happy to agree. We both knew there was no future between us, even though there was a lot of passion.

I unpack my bags and take the bed closest to the door. Erin and I are sharing a bed, but I figure it won't matter since I won't be staying there anyway. I head down to the bar and meet Ms Victoria Secret. Oh she was sexy and smelled SO GOOD! I remember that smell to this day and its been my favorite fragrance since. Issy Miyaki (sp?). YUM!

Ms VS and I hit it off and within minutes, I'm making out with her at the bar. Not wanting to ruin my chances with other girls, I ask her for her room number and tell her I will call her once the sun is going down. I spend about another 2-3hrs at the bar with Alex getting drunk and decide to head upstairs for a shower. I remember walking into the bathroom and seeing Jennifer (Erins BFF) getting out of the shower and she made absolutely no effort to cover herself up. I just said, "I always knew you weren't a natural blonde" and she smiled at me! Lol! this was HUGE because all this time, I had thought she hated my guts for putting Erin through so much sh9t. I was wrong.

Erin and Jenn get cleaned up and head out, then Alex, Scott, Jerry and a couple other guys are all in our room getting ready. Not really knowing what to do, we decide to go eat. I could write a book about that dinner! Imagine a table 40 feet long and covered in sea food. Everything from Lobster to muscles all over the place and buckets upon buckets of beer! Holy sh9t i was in heaven! As I was getting done, I remember that I hadn't called Victoria Secret up and figure its a lost cause anyway. However, once we get back to the hotel, she's in the lobby waiting for her friends to come down and meet her so they can go out. I figure if her friends look half as good as her, the smart thing to do is to hook my buddies up with her buddies and head out. Good idea!

Turns out VS has got some hot friends (hotter than her even) but I figure I'll take the sure bet and stick with her instead of potentially ruining all my chances by going for her friends. Things work out and after the club, we end up on the balcony with an audience below cheering us on. Maybe 10 people or so, nothing crazy, but once I got her pants down, that's when I saw the blue velvet Victoria Secret panties that magically disappeared (had to get a souvenir).

Victoria Secret and I part ways, I head back to the room, end up having sex with Erin and pass out. Epic day behind me!

Day 2: Wake up, head to the pool (really nice pool with an island bar) and hit the gym for a bit. Over the loud speaker I hear them talking about the Mr Buena Ventura contest, of which all my friends put my name in, and I am forced to go stand on stage in front of about 1000 or so people and show why I should be chosen Mr Buena Ventura. Not wanting to be outdone, I drop my pants and an crowned Mr Beuna Ventura (this is actually important for the plot).

So, my buddies and I finish up at the pool, make our introductions, I am now known as Mr Buena Ventura to everyone in Purto Vallerta and we decide to head up to the room to get ready for the evening.

Fast forward a bit, we are now at the same club we went to the night before. I'm having a really good time hanging with my friends and dancing and all of a sudden, I get someone behind me asking "Can I dance with you", I turn around and BAM! My heart stopped beating in my chest. The world stood still, everything went silent and there she was. The single most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I'm having a hard time typing this right now. I'm honestly getting emotional just remembering it. "Hi, I'm Beau", "Hi Beau, I'm Jessica", that was it, I was head over heels for a girl named Jessica.

We are absolutely inseparable for the next 6 days of the trip. Every minute we are by each others side. I can't keep my hands off of her, she can't keep her hands off of me. I can't find enough words to tell her, she can't stop talking to me. We sat on rocks and watched the sun set only to be sitting on the same rock, still talking several hours later as the sun came up. Beau has fallen in love! What an incredible thing it was.

I wish I could tell you every minute of our time together, and I could if I had it in my to type it out right now, but I can't go that deep into it. I was her first (took her V) and she was mine (first girl I loved). The fact is, reality starts to set in around day 5, and by day 7, our last day together, reality is sh9tting all over me. Jessica and Beau have to go our separate ways. I get her number and watch her walk off at the airport.

I see her one more time, a couple weeks later, after driving to meet her for an evening. Nothing has changed and seeing her leave this time was just as bad as the first time. I'm only happy that I got to experience what she offered me. If not for her, I would swear this world is a cruel place, but having met her, I know its full of beauty and mystery, if you are willing to see it.

We talk on the phone once while I was away at college and I tell her that I've decided to join the marines. 8 hours later (and a hell of a phone bill) we hang up after deciding that no matter what, before either of us ever gets married, we find the other to make sure that what we're doing is the right thing. Making sure that we are marrying the right person.

6yrs goes by and I've met someone I want to marry. Not having Jessicas phone number anymore, I hire someone to find her and ask her if its ok for me to marry this person...

2 days after I hired this person, my phone rings. Its him. He tells me that Jessica died in a car accident 6 months earlier. I'm sorry, for those that are reading, I'll pick this up later, but its too hard to talk about right now. Good night
In conjunction with this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6KBExDAIdU
It makes me want to go. A lot.
However, the hotel Henrik booked is expensive, so idk. I'd save 1000 bucks if I go to Lake Tahoe with the guys. We'll see what I decide.

I predict good things for the future. What keeps me here at the moment is the frat and the possibility of going abroad in a year. Still. We'll see.
 

NorwegianDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 8, 2010
Messages
2,560
Reaction score
82
It's been way too long since I've gotten to update.

Been very busy. 3 weeks its been. Worked out very well the first of them, then it fell off progressively due to a lot of schoolwork, fraternity business, and lack of sleep.

As it becomes with these late entries, they become condensed and anything not perceived important at the moment becomes obsolete.

I'll start from the weekend 2 weeks ago, anything before is a blur.

regular pitch party. Jordan and I start talking to these two girls. The one I was initially talking to ushers me to talk to her friend, so I take the bait. Her friend was this Brazilian girl. Ordinary looking, but attractive. Do the usual thing. Eventually take her down to the basement alone. Put on some music and play some improv drinking game. I say that if I win, I get to kiss her. blabla.

Next day, same thing. This time she got ****ed though. Fingered her, but ended up just walking them home.

Tuesday. Kieran says we're having pledgucation, so I show up at the house, expecting to be able to write my essay that is due the following day, worth 15% of my grade.

There was no pledgucation.

We had a big-little ceremony and now Im with Big Mosh. We all get paddles that we need to get signatures on. Proceed to have quite a few shots. What now you ask? Strip club, I say.

As we walk in, this blonde stripper asks for my name. After I tell her, she remembers me. Oh yeah, NDJ! You live in *** on the ** floor. Turns out she tried to sell me insurance and we had a good conversation.

Hour or two or whatever of fun there. Brothers gave my paddle to a stripper and paid her to spank me, and extra to make me scream. I came home with a very bruised up ass that day.

Forgot the essay? I surely didn't. Went to the library on the 13th floor and met Matt from my english class. Chatted for an hour or so, did my english paper draft.

Tried to sleep for 2 hours, couldn't.

Back up, meet this girl. End up chatting for 1-2 hours and watch the sunrise together. After she gets my contacts, she leaves and I pop the adderall Big Mosh gave me. Never taken it before and it was 25mg. Holy **** adderall. Finished the essay while skyping Serbia. No sleep.

Eventually crashed halfway through classes. couldnt sleep again till 1am. Chilled most of Thursday. Went to volleyball practice, worked out, then songfest practice. May or may not have ended up drinking.

That weekend brings little memories. Attempted to have a pitch party with a fair bit of brothers being at formal. Was good, but none of my girls could make it.

Monday. St Patty's day. I go through my classes, thinking little off it. A midterm, a quiz. Big Mosh tells me to quit classes and come drink. I figure it'll be a long day.

Show up at the house and have a beer and 4 shots. Borrow clothes from Jackson and head to 18th street for a bloc party. So many people there. Some say 1000. They're burning a couch. Jumped over it. Toga-line across it. Along with the 2-3 other parties we went to, nothing special happened. Just a bunch of people gathering. Took a bit of acid too, but nothing special. Like a 3rd of a tab. Realized that my accent and voice are actually things I should feel confident about.

Went out with Phil too, some day. Jumped between a lot of parties. Nothing much to note. This girl that has my number found me and we stuck with them for a while. Met Katie on the bus back. Ended up cuddling and talking for an hour or two, then sleep.

Wednesday we had a gathering at Phil's house. Again, none of my girls could make it. Still lot of fun. Jacuzzi times and drinking games. Good unwind.

Thursday. Kieran says we have pledgucation. This was quite a different pledgucation. He says we're waiting for the guest speaker.

The guest speaker(s) turn out to be none else than Medeleine, his ex, and Claire and Ashley, these other two, also beautiful, sorority girls.

Turns out they've prepared a 'Girls 101' presentation for us. Lots of review, but very entertaining and good info nonetheless. They had us all drink. Afterwards we were all talking for 10 minutes or so. I could do the most pushups with Claire sitting on me, at 10, which was something. I like getting stronger.

Anyway, the ask us if we know how to kiss. So, the three of them and three of us line up, pop some gum, put on music, and hook up one by one.

Ashley was aggressive and passionate. I loved it. She said I was a good kisser.

Claire was more reserved, but kinky. She knew exactly what she was doing. This reminded me that I had to lead, which she pointed out. Taught me how to bite her lip better. Although more of a reserved kisser, I could just tell how these girls were of different caliber than the multitude of underage girls I used to hook up with.

Madeleine was honestly just boring. She didn't seem into it and I felt forced. Whatever, still a beautiful girl.

Dance and grind with Ashley and Claire. They approve with bonus points. I think I kissed Claire once more. Hit it off with Ashley. Hooked up with her a few more times when we were alone. She said I was even better of a kisser than she first thought.

Honestly, it would be awkward if I was anything less after all these girls of the journal.

Long story short, cause Im boarding, Josh has hooked up with Claire and Madeleine before. To me it seemed like I had claimed Ashley for the night - we had both pretty much explicitly said we're having sex at the end of the night. However, Josh claimed free-for-all. I think its not worth it, due to the tension it creates.

I don't like competing for girls. It could be something I should work on. Because of this, Josh walked away with her at the end of the night, whereas I ended up chatting with Big Mosh for an hour or two.

Also had a smaaall bump of cocaine that night. Nothing special.

Didn't sleep, by choice, so I could do an essay due next day. I never got to do it.

Slept for like 30 minutes in a couch. Went for breakfast with Big Mosh and Mitch. Did a midterm. Went home and slept for some hours. Spent the day packing and sorting things that needed sorting. Chilled with Katie. Went to the fraternity again, played some games of LoL, cause why not, then slept for 2 hours before catching the bus to the airport. Now Im boarding a flight to Puerto Vallarta. It's gonna be a long week lads.
 

Jack Wealthy

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 6, 2010
Messages
824
Reaction score
10
Man all these drugs and parties and hookups and bailed essays... Are you neglecting school? You missed an essay, I assume that's worth something. I also know you're not going 100% on a midterm after a hard night of getting down, preceded by a hard night of getting down. I'm doing my degree for fun but feel as though I'm taking it more seriously than you right now. I'm sitting on 100% (sure honors, ha) and I could give you some study related tips if you'd like.

More importantly, how is your cash flow? You do all this travel etc but is that just your parents money? I know, I know, girls, game, groovy... But you hit a wall eventually where the pleasure of a girl is overidden by the habit of a new one. When you get to that point it's called "addiction" and you either stop or burn out- like I did.

I've recently written an essay on sexual burn out* and I think it's a catalyst to development in other areas. Think of all the successful people who were homosexuals, asexual or hyper-sexual and hit whatever wall before becoming successful. Especially the first two. I'm reading Freakonomics right now, funny, pop economics. Anyway, in the fashion of said book I've found a heavy correlation between being either homo or asexual and success. Disproportionate to the amount of people that are either anyway. I've been speculating, lack of distractions, confidence boost,, but I can't really put a finger on it... You might be able to give me some insight, especially if you hit it- which I think you might.

I also expect BPH to hit it eventually. He wants to push those boundaries a lot. I got there pretty quick, 30-40 odd. Guys on RSD (and PUAF, but they're all jokes) claim numbers of 100+ with no burn out but I think they're either lying, are much better men than me or hit the wall, pushed through and are in the process of aggravating said soul simmer until the problem immolates them, ie full blown burn out.

On that note, I was talking to Brad around this time last year, he was saying burn out is pretty normal around them..
 

NorwegianDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 8, 2010
Messages
2,560
Reaction score
82
Jack Wealthy said:
Man all these drugs and parties and hookups and bailed essays... Are you neglecting school? You missed an essay, I assume that's worth something. I also know you're not going 100% on a midterm after a hard night of getting down, preceded by a hard night of getting down. I'm doing my degree for fun but feel as though I'm taking it more seriously than you right now. I'm sitting on 100% (sure honors, ha) and I could give you some study related tips if you'd like.

More importantly, how is your cash flow? You do all this travel etc but is that just your parents money? I know, I know, girls, game, groovy... But you hit a wall eventually where the pleasure of a girl is overidden by the habit of a new one. When you get to that point it's called "addiction" and you either stop or burn out- like I did.

I've recently written an essay on sexual burn out* and I think it's a catalyst to development in other areas. Think of all the successful people who were homosexuals, asexual or hyper-sexual and hit whatever wall before becoming successful. Especially the first two. I'm reading Freakonomics right now, funny, pop economics. Anyway, in the fashion of said book I've found a heavy correlation between being either homo or asexual and success. Disproportionate to the amount of people that are either anyway. I've been speculating, lack of distractions, confidence boost,, but I can't really put a finger on it... You might be able to give me some insight, especially if you hit it- which I think you might.

I also expect BPH to hit it eventually. He wants to push those boundaries a lot. I got there pretty quick, 30-40 odd. Guys on RSD (and PUAF, but they're all jokes) claim numbers of 100+ with no burn out but I think they're either lying, are much better men than me or hit the wall, pushed through and are in the process of aggravating said soul simmer until the problem immolates them, ie full blown burn out.

On that note, I was talking to Brad around this time last year, he was saying burn out is pretty normal around them..
Always with such helpful posts. Please, hit me with the study tips. I honestly think its me just not putting enough effort in, but I'll be very busy the coming weeks and could use anything. Although I haven't done the essay, Im planning on writing it and giving it in paper form on monday. Paper copies are really all she cares about.

Im uncertain if I hit that. Sure, girls aren't as big of a priority as before, but the motivator for that change I haven't identified.

I completely agree though. Could it be similar to this? http://www.sacred-texts.com/nth/tgr/tgr16.htm

In that case, it would involve not jerking it too.

The cash flow, I dont even know myself. I spend my own money when I spend money. Aside from that, my dad takes care of it. The government pays for roughly half my college costs. I really do need to involve myself in these finances though, because my parents have been ambiguous about whether they're actually supporting me or I'm just borrowing money. Either way, Im pretty frugal. Aside from this trip, that is. That airfare was expensive.

Could you help me on motivation for school? You know how they say its not for everyone. Im still feeling like it might not be for me. Its just that I learn nothing of interest in my classes. In my psych classes, most of the knowledge is redundant or already known to me. I learned more reading Anthony Robbins, which is from 1999, when I was 15. My english class does challenge me a bit with the essays, but overall lacking of interest. etcetera. I just dont have a belief in the system.

Considering taking up neuroscience, because it might fill in the blindspots of psychology. And its an actual science. I think.

Regarding the cash flow again, I'll be working for some months in Norway this summer. Working in America is useless in comparison. Working in America, I earn almost 3 times less than minimum wage in Norway.

What I like is that Im regaining my drive, which can catalyze other things. To my attention, then only thing Im not focusing on at the moment is business, creating something, or making profit. I should work on that too.

So far in PV I've almost gotten arrested twice and gotten more drunk than ever before. Time to calm down a bit.
 

eastcoast15

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 29, 2010
Messages
69
Reaction score
1
Jack Wealthy said:
I've recently written an essay on sexual burn out* and I think it's a catalyst to development in other areas. Think of all the successful people who were homosexuals, asexual or hyper-sexual and hit whatever wall before becoming successful. Especially the first two. I'm reading Freakonomics right now, funny, pop economics. Anyway, in the fashion of said book I've found a heavy correlation between being either homo or asexual and success. Disproportionate to the amount of people that are either anyway. I've been speculating, lack of distractions, confidence boost,, but I can't really put a finger on it... You might be able to give me some insight, especially if you hit it- which I think you might.
I've been experiencing something similar. I'm not really concerned about girls anymore and have really been trying to work on all the other parts of my life. I still go out and get laid whenever I want but I don't get the same rise out of it I used to. Once I it and was comfortable attracting girls consistently it just didn't seem to matter too much anymore. I'm not sure where I'm at for numbers anymore but I think it's somewhere around that 30 mark.

I remember talking to HPRJ when he was well into the 80's and he was saying something similar. It's tough to tell for sure though because there aren't many people with those kind of numbers around especially coming from the community. (which is ironic)

I'd be interested in reading the essay if you want to send it to me.
 

NorwegianDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 8, 2010
Messages
2,560
Reaction score
82
A quick update before I head to bed, because I will be very busy in these coming weeks.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Neo-I7U1UfI

Spent the rest of the days in PV just chilling. Extremely sunburnt. I was a bit silly and didnt put on much lotion and laid out for 6 hours.

I dont quite think I like places like that: summer holiday spots with beaches and parties. They seem to always be run-down places with the same typical crowd of tourists.

Took the plane back. Made some friends on the plane. Stuck on Dallas, FW airport for 16 hours overnight. Didn't end up sleeping much. Did some work on my essay. Read the Pythagoras for acacia. You can find it here: http://acacia.org/pythagoras/

Also did a lot of reading in The Ultramind Solution. I just wanna be super ****ing healthy now. Very good writing although repetitive and somewhat obvious. It's a nice change from the macro/calorie mindset.

Back on campus Ive just been spending a lot of time at Acacia. Worked out today and yesterday. Solid workouts.

Im peeling a ****load though. Like everywhere across my chest and core. Hopefully it won't be bad tomorrow night, when we're having a registered party. Saints and Sinners.

Also had a Songfest practice where we got placed in our respective columns and rows. Im behind this girl from our Greek Week Volleyball team who's very pretty and seems stupidly confident. Next to me is this guy, Josh, from ZBT. Cool guy. In front of him is this girl that looks EXACTLY like Tara Reid in American Pie. Perhaps is how she does her makeup. She accidentally punched me in the face, so we've got that going for us.

I'll be super busy the next weeks for the following reasons:
Party on friday. Leadership Academy on Saturday, leaving at 8am. Back on sunday. Project due monday. Greek Week starts Thursday till thursday. Our biggest party on friday. I-Week starts after that. Then one week to study, then finals. Inbetween them I want to try fit in the RSD free tour, then I go home. On top of that, I've got a test to get into Acacia, where I have to know a large portion of that book, many things verbatim.

Overall, good times. And Brand New has some really ****ing great songs, if you're into alternative.
 

NorwegianDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 8, 2010
Messages
2,560
Reaction score
82
Let me get to it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-oorx2EQ0Ag

Its been over 10 days now, but I'll attempt to recap.

Saints and Sinners was cool as far as I remember. Put on my red pants and red shoes. Typical party. Cant think of anything in particular. I was too chilled out and many girls that I knew I would only see once and they'd be gone. I should actually start things off and hit it off with these girls instead of greeting them in the passing-by.

Party got shut down by cops due to a misunderstanding where the chief was out of town and thus didn't get our email regarding the new no hard alcohol rule that has taken effect for all fraternities.

Spent rest of night chilling with Phil and this girl Samira. Nice and pretty girl.

Slept over and woke up at 7:30 to catch the bus for Fraternity Leadership Academy. It really was more of a thing to get the most prospective freshmen in fraternities to get along. Other than that, it was also about resolving situations often involving alcohol and such. Made some friends and such.

Did my project and discovered /r/heavymind.

Had 2 more practices with Chi-O for songfest. Everything is looking pretty solid. Im really excited about it. However, during the last practice, my phone broke. It never left my pocket, but was bouncing around with my earbuds. Somehow they got underneath the cover and cracked the screen mildly. Screen stopped working and Im not without a phone.

Following this, I was informed that Patrick had my Pledge Pin and that I had to get a picture of Rush Boobs by saturday to get it back, or it'd be something worse.

I really gave it valiant effort to get that picture. I'll get to it later.

I want to talk about Field Day!

I was the only guy from our chapter, with 4 other guys and 5 girls. That was our rooster.

I did Three Legged Race, Obstacle Course, and Tug of War.

It started off with water-balloon toss, which we lost.

I was paired with this pretty and blonde girl for the race. We had already practiced and get along really well. First round: we desolate the competition, completely unmatched. 2nd round we lost by what could only have been an inch. Everyone's blown away by how well we did.

Obstacle Course! Imagine a bouncing castle from the front. Connected to it on each side are bouncing pillars and a tunnel you have to get through, then climb up the back and slide down.

Im going last. By the time Im about to start, we're already a meter or three behind the other team. As I start climbing up the back, he's almost up and soon to slide down. I get up and he slides. I know I won't beat him. ****it, I've done this before. I don't even remember it, I wish someone filmed it. I never tried to slide. I ran as fast as I could. I dont even know if I ran, it was more of a jump. A real long ****ing jump. I hit the bottom and bounce off into the air. I see myself crossing the line an inch before him.

The moment I touch ground, everyone is looking at me. "WE WON! WE ****ING WON!" I scream, the every inch of my being pulsating with testosterone. I've never felt so manly. Or in a while. Our team (Chi-O, ZBT, Acacia) went ****ing nuts. It was crazy cool.

Althought I won it for that heat, our team was actually so slow that we didn't get any more heats, so that was that, haha.

Tug of War! This was extreme!

We won our first two matches with ease. However, Chi Psi and DG absolutely desolated every team within 5 to 10 seconds, and now we were up against them.

"Give me some slack, bro" says our anchor as I move to give him some slack. We're getting ready to win. BOOM, we all fall forward. Turns out they cheated and started early. As we scramble to our feet we must've lost at least 10 feet of rope. The suspense in the air was palpable. You could feel people losing hope and expecting us to go down like the rest. We get on our feet and from behind us we hear a familiar cry. "1, 2, 3 PULL! 1, 2, 3, PULL!" The chant we had taught the team earlier. It gets us together. One foot. Two feet. We're gaining ground. How is this happening? At every PULL, we're gaining several feet. We win. How did this happen? Everyone's going nuts.

We completely forgot about the final, but we return and win that too. Overall, we placed 3rd in Field Day.

We all went for a party at ZBT later that night. Nothing memorable, just another ZBT party.

I also discovered that I love tank-tops, wifebeaters, whatever you call them. Allows me to show off my arms, which are a fair bit more impressive than my skinny forearms.

Slept at house. Woke up and went to Fraternity Football to support. Nothing notable.

On Saturday evening I went with Kieran to his apartment. "Do a strikeout" he said to Josh and I. A bong rip, then a 80% shot, then a beer, then breathe it out. Josh wasn't game. I ****ed up the bong it and took a LOT more than I expected. Turns out they had layered the bowl with kief, which hit me really ****ing hard. I was already walking on clouds a few minutes later when I left.

By the time I made it to Patrick and Rykow I was getting real ****ed up. Sat down with them and couldn't really speak. Couldn't eat. They gave me cold water and said drinking it would make me feel better. They instantly recognized I was way too high. Truly appreciated how they took care of me. My head started exploding and I got increasingly uneasy. They took me to the bed I usually sleep in. There seemed to be a cycle. I'd go somewhere new and be relaxed, then I'd get increasingly anxious as I got drawn into my thoughts.

A lot worse than any drug I've taken. My head was exploding every second. Actually exploding. You try to find something else to focus on, but it overcomes you. All you can do is wait, but its like being stuck in a nightmare.

Suddenly I see everything with such clarity. Almost like seeing in an extra dimension. I think I may have just been noticing shading better and such. However, it was very cool. I saw better than I did with Phil's glasses.

Got my laptop and started playing music that would soothe me. However each song would get me increasingly more anxious, so we gave up on it. Went to Mitch and Scherer. Went to Scherer's bathroom, because I felt like I needed to puke. Eventually started feeling better and made my way back to the bed.

Was scared to sleep due to puking, tried to sleep in the safe position. Started to feel a bit better. Sudden urge to puke. Puke in Cook's bathroom. Flush. So ready to sleep. Sleep.

Wake up and decide not to spectate powderpuff, the girl football games. Got some more hours of sleep. Felt pretty normal. Turns out the Chi-O girls won the tournament! This put us at a tied 1st place in Greek Week overall. Thats such a big deal!

Messaged all the girls I thought would be down with the Rush Boobs. Two of my very good girl friends would be down, but circumstances didn't allow them. Got a picture from another girl, but without letters, so to no avail.

Ended up doing 345 pushups and 7 shots (1 per 50) while watching the new Game of Thrones episode with the guys. I actually finished it with the episode, so a good 40 minutes.

Decided not to go to class today. I should've, but was real damn tired when I woke up. Put on my suit later and went over to the house. From there, went to Greek God and Goddess. Was decent fun and inspired me to also do things on stage to get recognized by more people.

That's All Folks.
 

NorwegianDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 8, 2010
Messages
2,560
Reaction score
82
Been a long while, it has.

I guess I'll continue from Greek Week.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2my_DFCdpE&list=UU5nc_ZtjKW1htCVZVRxlQAQ

We finally had Songfest. Motivational speeches before we went on. Huddle in boys. We were going on last. Every team has been on now. Some bad, some real good. Everyone's psyched. Change into outfit for first dance. We're lining up. Chandler in front of me, Emilie across the stage. This will be fun.

It was a ****ing blast. Nailed it all. We run off, other group goes on, change outfits, cheer real ****ing hard. Go on again, kick ass, get off. Change. Cheer so ****ing hard. Compared to all the other teams, we have such a party on the sidelines. Get on for Guys' dance. Halfway through we lose the music. We improvise and keep it going, singing instead. Flip, get off. Have such a party on the sideline. This repeats once more and the lights actually go off too. So. Much. Fun.

We went into Songfest being #1, placed 5th for some reason (people are talking about how it's rigged - bribery and such), but we ended up with 3rd place overall.

Back at the house we're preparing for a party. Hanging out with friends and people. Phil and Radolfo come, have some shots with them and chat. Have a line each before Phil goes on. Opening the door to the frat space and expecting a huge fvcking party was a disappointment. Chi-O was a no-show, so it was an average party. Disappointed in them. Also in ZBT for being douchenuggets.

Overall had a good time. Can't remember what I ended up doing this night, think I walked home with Little Mitch at 5. Got ourselves some McD's and free OJ, being troopers. First breakfast McDonald's.

Partied rest of the weekend. Went to bed at 7am after watching Frozen with Jackson and Mosher. It must've been this night that I went out with Phil and these two girls. Ran into two more girls while looking for parties. Find a party. Hook up with the one girl. Her cousin wants to hook up with me. I decide I can do some charity. Jump inbetween the two a bit. We decide to walk back to Acacia. Im starting to become more interested in this brunette girl, she was with us from the start. She's probably feeling conflicted though, so that didn't happen. Ended up jamming in the basement with a good 7 people with bongo drums and guitar. Then Frozen. Slept on couch till 12, then breakfast. Started to get sick.

Bought stuff for I-Week with Jordan. Had to pay for him and he was gonna pay me back. When I-Week actually comes, Jordan is dropped. He never paid the semester dues.

I-Week is also known as Hell Week. It's the last week before initiation. Basically a lot of exercise, little food, little sleep, and miscellaneous.
Went through it fine. Was a bit worried if my lung was punctured at times, but I think I was (and am still) just sick.

After initiation - Im downplaying all of this as I cannot talk of it. It's not too interesting anyway - we went to BJs and had some amazing food with everyone. The whole ordeal really got us closer together and made me like Acacia that much more. I wasn't really quite sold on the brotherhood thing until I was through it all.

Had a party that night after I slept the whole day. Showed up at the door at 11. As I walk in, everyone turns and the brothers cheer me a Frat Chant. "Drink mother****er, drink mother****er, drink ---" see how long you can keep it going while drinking liquor. So that kickstarted my night.

Eventually went over to ZBT to check it out. Pretty average party there. Had a beer. Ran into Emily. Hooked up with her for a bit. Left her. Found Josh, Mosher and Tyler in a group with some girls, one of them being Erin, Sam's friend. We all know her fairly well by this point. She's very close to Josh, I figure she must be single now. I happen to grab her hand. Interlock. Eye contact, shared smile. Closeness. One of my favorite hook-ups. We didn't kiss immediately. Bodies pressed against each other, I go for it, but she pulls back slightly. I grab her tighter, feel her, go through her hair. She's teasing me, I'm teasing her. I love it. We kiss some times. She pulls away from the wall and pushes me into it. It was sweet. And it was good.

Moved onto the stairs, saw this girl I know. Pulled her in. Second-guessed my decision afterwards. Moved on.

Went back to the house and met some more girls. Got some contacts. Think I hooked up with a girl? Then went and chatted with this other girl. Kissed her. Kissed her goodbye. Got her contacts. Went to bed sometime.

Slept so much more, like an extra 20 hours over the next 4 days. Stayed a lot in bed, because I got more sick. 1 class that week that I went to. Havent been gymming in a long time now. Did try earlier this week, but I was so weak due to the sickness. Now Im starting to feel better. Had my first final. Got 3 more and an essay, then it's home to Norway!
 

NorwegianDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 8, 2010
Messages
2,560
Reaction score
82
Home Sweet Home

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzM4j0PSEFg

Not much to the following few days. Finished up my exams, stayed at the fraternity house for two days, then caught some flights and arrived back home. Sat next to this professor that gave me some vouchers for free alcohol.

Got my lease and everything sorted out finally. Will be amazing to live in the house next year.

Norway is quite standard. Was super tired so spent two days catching up on sleep. Spent a bit of time with friends here and there. Just the comforts of home.

Went out on Wednesday, because everyone my age is Graduating. This thing we call Russ. Basically you wear the same red pants and party for a month, then you take your exams and graduate. Figured I should be a part of what I can.

Had Predrinks with Genver, Ted, and other people. Went to town from there and met up with Marcus. Proceeded to meet a ton of people I know. The 'party' was at this small bar that nobody really likes, but there was no alternative because the other one got shut down and the new one isn't open yet.

Not quite my vibe, but was nice meeting old friends. My hometown is a very status conscious place, something that will take some getting used to.

Ended up talking to and kissing this girl, Mina. I've known her for some years.

Drove home with Marcus and Haakon et al in their bus.

Went out again on friday. Got myself a pair of those red pants so I could. Had pre-drinks with Marcus. Not a good idea to match him with alcohol. He can drink a lot more than me. Quite a bit more. Once there, hang around a bit with him and meet some people. Meet some girls. Meet some girl I know. "I shouldn't hook with her, I shouldn't." Yeah I hooked up with her. Sometimes the fun of it takes over and I let go of standards. She wasn't BAD, just not acceptable. Proceeded to hook up with her friend right after. Then tried both at the same time, but of course if they're not pretty they dont like being lesbians. And that my friends, is why you hook up with pretty girls.

Walked around here and there. Bit foggy, mustve drank a lot. Sh1t just happens when you're that drunk. Was in a bus, opposite to this girl I wanted to bang. Next to me is some girl that knows me. I hook up with her. We go outside the bus and I take a piss, then she leads me to the ocean.

Turns out I'm way too wasted to do anything not standing up, so time pretty much just passes here for some hours. Start walking home with her, which is like 15km. Some guys drive past and pick us up, she knows them. Drive to hers, sneak in, piss, ****. Typical. Way too drunk. Was gonna repeat in the morning, but some friend of hers came over.

Had breakfast and went to town. Walked in the parade and had a lot of water after that, hanging out with her friends. One of them I knew and she knew me. I think Marcus showed me her tits on his phone before that. Had the best ice-cream ever, then joined the Russ Parade. Was pretty fun, joined Marcus and his bus on their roof.

After this she drove me home and I crashed. Now I'm trying to find out what to do with myself while everybody has exams. Trying to be productive, but it's hard. Playing some guitar and reading some stuff, but can't really get myself too interested.

Also finally taking my license, maybe boat license too.
 
Top