"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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No kiss on second “date” - I think this is a lost cause.

MoreThanSmooth

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No kiss on second date - I feel like I’ve completely blown it.
To be honest, I don’t even think these two meetings we’ve had have been actual dates.

First time round I invited her out for dinner. After, she suggested we go get drinks. Date started at 7:30pm and ended at 2:30am - no kiss.

Today, we went for a picnic in the mountains. I still didn’t have guts to go for a kiss. I didn’t feel there was a moment and I’m incredibly anxious around her.

I did make moves in the touching department. I laid my hand on hers, I got closer to her. I know it’s raher pathetic, but I’m shy and I’m not in the game.

So I feel like I’ve completely blown it with her.

She’s either 1) Not actually interested and hasn’t been since; 2) really confused about the whole thing; 3) going to move on.

The only “good signs” from the date were: her not flinching or moving when I did touch her. And she says she’ll drive to come see me and we’ll do something.
This literally sounds like you're doing absolutely fine, but you're just building it into a disaster in your head and getting anxious.

Take a chill pill and just enjoy being on the next date with her. When she's looking particularly comfy, lean in for a kiss. It's no big deal. If she wants a third date and was holding your hand then that's good. It's not always about getting a kiss, just like it's not always about having sex.

I did make moves in the touching department. I laid my hand on hers, I got closer to her. I know it’s raher pathetic, but I’m shy and I’m not in the game.
The only "pathetic" thing here is that you're judging yourself as pathetic. Stop kicking yourself in the balls, that's step one for not f*cking up. The more you're hating on yourself in your head, the less confident you're going to be and the more you'll f*ck things up next time.

You should be thinking "Held hands, that was pretty awesome. Date next week, I'll get the kiss this time." NOT "Oh my god I'm pathetic".

Also if you can't bring yourself to do the lip kiss straight up, go for a forehead kiss. Or, if you're REALLY shy, a cheek kiss. It'll normally naturally follow up into a proper kiss and she'll lean in.

I'll be honest - if she's even going on 3 dates with you, you're doing very well. I can't remember the last time I got to the second date, normally if I don't kiss a girl on the first date she gets p*ssy and nexts me, I think it's because I keep dating radical feminists >_>
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Igetit!

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So we’ve spoken to eachother today. She wants to come over to see the work I’ve done on this place I’ve moved to. I guess you can call it the 3rd date - I will take her bowling as well.

She’s asked if I’m free this week, but I’m not because of the work I’ve got to do. So I will suggest she comes this weekend.
Ok...... Well you said you thought this was a "lost cause" cause a kiss failed to happen on the 2ND date. Apparently,it's not lost yet,cause she's still expressed interest in still seeing you.

So...........given all the advice you've gotten up til now...when this "3rd date" takes place,what do YOU PLAN to do?
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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No kiss on second date - I feel like I’ve completely blown it.
To be honest, I don’t even think these two meetings we’ve had have been actual dates.

First time round I invited her out for dinner. After, she suggested we go get drinks. Date started at 7:30pm and ended at 2:30am - no kiss.

Today, we went for a picnic in the mountains. I still didn’t have guts to go for a kiss. I didn’t feel there was a moment and I’m incredibly anxious around her.

I did make moves in the touching department. I laid my hand on hers, I got closer to her. I know it’s raher pathetic, but I’m shy and I’m not in the game.

So I feel like I’ve completely blown it with her.

She’s either 1) Not actually interested and hasn’t been since; 2) really confused about the whole thing; 3) going to move on.

The only “good signs” from the date were: her not flinching or moving when I did touch her. And she says she’ll drive to come see me and we’ll do something.
#nextset
 

marmel75

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Ok...... Well you said you thought this was a "lost cause" cause a kiss failed to happen on the 2ND date. Apparently,it's not lost yet,cause she's still expressed interest in still seeing you.

So...........given all the advice you've gotten up til now...when this "3rd date" takes place,what do YOU PLAN to do?
I mean honestly when a basic kiss is such a big deal does it really matter? If he can't even bring himself to try and kiss a woman after being together for over 10 hours how will he seduce her?
 

Atom Smasher

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Perhaps he's on the beginning of the path to learning.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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