No butterflies...

Die Hard

Master Don Juan
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#1
I've had several women say the following:

"I really like you and think you are very sexy, but I just don't feel any butterflies in my stomach...so I don't think I want to keep seeing you"

All of them used this exact expression "no butterflies in my stomach" and gave that as the reason to end things. It kinda sounds like a polite way to say "I don't find you attractive" but most of these girls were already having sex with me (sex was good and they were eager for more), they were constantly texting me, looking for my attention, some even indicated they wanted me as their boyfriend etc. In other words, they definitely were attracted and showed high interest, so it's not a case of LJBF or anything.

So wtf did they mean then? Has any of you guys heard this line before under those circumstances? High attraction, high interest but.....no butterflies in her stomach, so she wants to end things...
 

Ranger

Master Don Juan
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#3
Tell them they just haven’t swallowed enough cvm yet.
Yeah it means they aren’t feeling attracted any longer.
 

AttackFormation

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#4
I see 3 reasons for this - sh!t test (seems very implausible), too damaged to feel chemistry without abuse, or healthy emotionally but doesn't feel it. The funny thing is it doesn't matter which one it is... Agree and amplify.

"Phew, I've been feeling exactly the same thing but I just didn't know how to say it. What a relief that we can move on now. Take care" and then walk away. They might communicate with you after this, if they do, (I would) see them strictly for sex only.
 

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Ranger

Master Don Juan
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#7
Hmmmmm......

My best guess is that you are a specific type of way with girls at the beginning, and then as time passes you change something. They start to lose attraction.

Also, b1tches be crazy.
Or it just fades naturally. He doesn’t have to do anything wrong for that.
 

LARaiders85

Master Don Juan
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#10
Hopeless romantics initially come on strong, often idealizing the object of ther "love", although they are incapable of actually ever loving someone in a mature way that would require intimacy and committment on any level.

To them, the initial stages of a relationship that involves infatuation is like a drug and they need more and more of that injected into their empty and lifeless souls just to feel something since they are devoid of any real emotions and do not even understand themselves.

As long as they continue to believe the self-induced lie that they forced themselves to accept at the beginning of the relationship - then things will go well, at least for a while. They have to somehow convince themselves that the person they are in "love" with is "perfect" and feed off the infatuation and associated neuro-chemicals in order to be in a relationship, since in their own warped view of themselves, nothing less than a perfect partner is worth spending their time and energy on.

They typically become bored easily, have narcissistic traits and will ultimately begin to devalue the person they are with when the high intensity and endorphine fueled rushes related to the relationship/being in love are not sutainable anymore. That is why most of them will ususally keep other possible options on the side at all times (guys that are "just friends") and never let the relationship get to a point where it actually involves real intimacy or committment and they do that through a systematic and fine tuned process of known as approach-avoidance. Which is getting very close and being "in love" with the source of their emotional high when they need it and are very demanding at times, but then pulling back if the other person gets to close and/or wants more from the relationship - and more in terms of a mature, intimate and committed experience.

As much as they initially seem like they are "in love" and want to bond, they actually fear that more than anything and often substitute amazing sex as a form of intimacy when there is nothing in terms of a foundation to support it as time goes on and the relationship should or would require more than just being sexual, as the intensity, effect from pheromones and the neuro-chemicals released during physical intimacy cannot produce the same result anymore.

At that point, in a sense the end is always predetermined and inevitable when dealing with a person like that, so the choice for the other one involved is to either hang on and enjoy the pointless ride for as long as it will last or accept reality and move on.
 
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AttackFormation

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#11
She met a new guy she likes more, simple as that. I normally don't hear this bc I have a role to play in their life butterflies or not, but the one time I heard it this was the case.
God d@amnit, how could I forget that option. My post looks like a fumbling. Of course it's another guy!
 

taiyuu_otoko

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#15
It could be she senses that YOU don't have the feels for her, and she wants to beat you to the punch of saying, "Yeah, you don't do anything for me."

Her lack of feels is more of a reciprocal thing, and she's just saying it before you do, so she can claim she dumped you and maintain her self image.

Unless you really do have the feels for these ladies, I'd just chalk it up to the cost of strings free sex.
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

zekko

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#16
I don't know the girl, but could be she's ruined by the c0ck carousel. @Desdinova talks about once girls have so many sexual partners, they have trouble pair bonding. She has trouble getting the feels, but she still thinks she should have them.

A similar thing actually happens to guys, but for them it's a good thing. Once a guy has so many women, he starts to view all women as replaceable, look at this forum. But for a male, this is actually a good attitude to approach women with. Girls can be turned off if a guy is too head over heels, or as they say, "googly eyed".
 

AttackFormation

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#17
I don't know the girl, but could be she's ruined by the c0ck carousel. @Desdinova talks about once girls have so many sexual partners, they have trouble pair bonding. She has trouble getting the feels, but she still thinks she should have them.

A similar thing actually happens to guys, but for them it's a good thing. Once a guy has so many women, he starts to view all women as replaceable, look at this forum. But for a male, this is actually a good attitude to approach women with. Girls can be turned off if a guy is too head over heels, or as they say, "googly eyed".
Jadedness and abundance makes men more attractive to women, but it's women who are more likely to have abundance and become jaded. Just one of life's ironies.
 

ubercat

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#18
Obvious. But worth mentioning there can be the problem of being too slick.

Most guys develop date routines to cut down mental overhead. Need to be a little inpractice.

My g/f still whinges about how quickly and expertly i Kinoed on our third date that's not good I should have made a couple of fumbles.
 
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