thefonz
Master Don Juan
Chill Deus, it's just football.
Accept the Patriots as your lord and savior and let's move on
Accept the Patriots as your lord and savior and let's move on
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Espi said:Prediction:
Jets 21
Pats 17
Fact: The Pats' weakness has been revealed: flush Brady from the pocket, and you are left to contend with a very average QB.
Fact: NE has no running game, so that is another weakness about NE which the Jets will reveal Sunday at Foxboro.
Fact: Randy Moss is closing in on Jerry Rice's single-season TD record, but JERRY RICE SET THAT RECORD in 1987 DURING THE 12-GAME STRIKE SEASON; IT HAS TAKEN RANDY MOSS 13 GAMES THUS FAR...SO JERRY RICE IS STILL THE BEST WR EVER.
:crackup: Priceless! One of the funniest post I read on sosuave. I totally agree, does this idiot know that Patriots already crushed the Jets in New York? Now they are playing in the SNOW at Gillette Stadium. They'll win by 20 points... Glad I'll be working security at the game. :trouble:AFC Savior said:your the most clueless retard in this country when it comes to football
your like the biggest AFC when it comes to football analysis
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Espi said:Really? They scored how many points today?...thanks to a blocked punt. NE best break out the cheating cams...your team's running game sux, and it's gonna bit ya in the azz come January...unless, of course, the Pats score "40 points" in the playoffs.
The Dolphins had Csonka...who the fvuck is Maroney? Baloney!
Wow what a moron. Actually it's a part-time job, why waste 100 bucks when you get paid to watch the game? I also get to throw out dumb sh*ts like you. I can get free beer too, while you waste 10 bucks on a beer in a plastic bottle. :moon:Espi said:LOL...great fvucking prediction. You'd better study your NFL a bit better, lest you end up a security guard for life.
NO team is scoring to beat another by 20+ points in such inclement weather, especially a team with no running game and an average QB.
BTW, congrats to the PATS defeating the Jets...those Jets are a powerhouse of a team, huh?
Deus ex Pianoforte said:Does Romo have better stats in almost every QB category than Favre? Yep.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Vladimir Horowitz said:Mistakenly banned, according to his user profile.
Yes. Unfortunately for the Cowboys, he let his loser HB 5 white trash girlfriend into the stadium and it affected his game in a very big way. Very similar to what happened last year with Carrie Underwood. He should stick to rotating the cheerleaders.
Yes, really. OBVIOUSLY, Deus ex Pianoforte was referring to this season's stats. I would think even a Cheesehead could figure that out. A quarterback in his 17th season has better career stats than a 5th season quarterback? Astounding. I'm glad you took the time to point this out, as this is an earth-shattering accomplishment on the part of Favre.
By the way, you may want to reconsider gloating about a loss of a team that only brought itself down to the level of the Packers.![]()
You forgot the age difference. That's like saying Lebron is better than Michael Jordon now. If they were both in their prime, Brett Farve would win in every category. :nono:Vladimir Horowitz said:Technically, Romo is ABOVE the level of Favre right now. More TDs, better QB rating. Favre has thrown for a few more yards and had a couple less interceptions but that's about it. :nervous:
Vladimir Horowitz said:Brett Favre still plays so it's not quite the same thing, is it?
Perhaps, but Romo is still a relatively new quarterback. My feeling is that the best is yet to come from this guy, especially after Jerry Jones makes him leave his little blonde pop stars at home.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
You don't know anything about football. I bet you would not put your money with your mouth is. I am A chicago bears fan but Newengland is the class of NFL hands down. That being said I hope somone does upset them in the playoffs.Espi said:Dolphins: 17
Patsies: 13
*Patsies are coming off their worst offensive performance, proving my assertion that they have no running game whatsoever...Maloney is baloney. Moss will likely never catch another TD pass this season...and you Patsie lovers can forget about the Super Bowl, cause NE ain't going...
*Dolphins players have nothing to lose...also, Bill Parcells (ugliest fvucking man ever...uglier than Bill Bellychick) is the main man in Miami, so the players are nervous and will play their asses off...
Now, you Patsie lovers who predicted your overrated team would score 40+ points last weel against the Jets...you were wrong...stick to your masturbating and security guard jobing...you cannot predict shiat...
lol:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:AFC Savior said:oh and Espi, how is that hb10 oneitis of yours working out? remmeber the one that u posted a 10 page thread one where u overanalyzed every single move, and you have so far had a few chumpish dates with her, but still have not even moved past kissing (or have u?)..........what a lame **** you are
You're a douchebag. No wonder you're a Patriots fan.AFC Savior said:the worst part about that thread was that everyone was congratulating Espi and patting him on the back for PUTTING THE HB10 ON A PEDESTAL AND TREATING HER DIFFERENTLY THAN HE USUALLY WOULD
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.