"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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New plate w possible issue

Knight's Cross

Senior Don Juan
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Alright, sunday afternoon, went on a walk thru an art museum with a new plate. A comfortable time into date I asked her how she wound up in our town. Her answer,"She had to get sober." That she has been dry for 6 years. She spent 2 years in treatment at a local facility. Seems like a normal chick otherwise. She works in the retail clothing industry. She's about a 7-8 in looks. I don't know if it was just booze she had an issue with, she talked about working in LA for awhile in the radio business. I'd guess that it was alcohol and drugs.
Question: 1. Who's got experience dating recovered alcoholics?
If anyones got experience with this I'm all ears. I've never been around someone like this. On the one side I can see if a person has 6 years sober I'd call it good, that's a definite plus that they've dealt with a problem. I do see it as at least a yellow flag.
What say the crowd? Mark this as a yellow flag and proceed, or toss this one back into the lake.
I've got 2 other plates spinning.
KC
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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GotED?

Master Don Juan
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The Viagra Pill you wish you had...- United Kingdo
You should weigh everything else that you find attracted to and about her to see the whole picture. Every woman that walks into your life will have imperfection (thank gad she is honest and that shows maturity in the beginning! some don't tell you until you are married...) - you have to weigh the whole picture and not just see the tree but see the forest as well. Good luck.

Exodus
 

Knight's Cross

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Exodus,
I am looking at the total picture. This is a new "dysfunction" for me. Sure everyone has their issues. I've never dealt with an alcoholic tho. The cool thing is I don't walk on eggshells, I did ask some about it, just to let her know I wanted to feel out what it was all about. Didn't rub her nose in it, but out of curiousity wanted some details. That's fair, she asked about my past as well. Nothing to hide.
KC
 

Colossus

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In a past life I spent considerable time around recovering alcoholics and addicts. While I've never dated one, I'd say give her then benefit of the doubt since she has quite a bit of time under her belt. If she were newly sober, I'd say no way, but 6 years shows commitment and character.

I dont know if you are a social drinker but personally that would bother me. I'd feel almost guilty if I enjoyed a few beers in front of her.
 

Scaramouche

Master Don Juan
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Dear KC,
If she is a plate,it really doesn't matter....Six years dry? that's really very good,remember,seven years in remission is considered cured for cancer patients....DJ's don't marry,so no sweat really,just enjoy!
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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