"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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New plate w possible issue

Knight's Cross

Senior Don Juan
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Alright, sunday afternoon, went on a walk thru an art museum with a new plate. A comfortable time into date I asked her how she wound up in our town. Her answer,"She had to get sober." That she has been dry for 6 years. She spent 2 years in treatment at a local facility. Seems like a normal chick otherwise. She works in the retail clothing industry. She's about a 7-8 in looks. I don't know if it was just booze she had an issue with, she talked about working in LA for awhile in the radio business. I'd guess that it was alcohol and drugs.
Question: 1. Who's got experience dating recovered alcoholics?
If anyones got experience with this I'm all ears. I've never been around someone like this. On the one side I can see if a person has 6 years sober I'd call it good, that's a definite plus that they've dealt with a problem. I do see it as at least a yellow flag.
What say the crowd? Mark this as a yellow flag and proceed, or toss this one back into the lake.
I've got 2 other plates spinning.
KC
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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GotED?

Master Don Juan
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The Viagra Pill you wish you had...- United Kingdo
You should weigh everything else that you find attracted to and about her to see the whole picture. Every woman that walks into your life will have imperfection (thank gad she is honest and that shows maturity in the beginning! some don't tell you until you are married...) - you have to weigh the whole picture and not just see the tree but see the forest as well. Good luck.

Exodus
 

Knight's Cross

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Exodus,
I am looking at the total picture. This is a new "dysfunction" for me. Sure everyone has their issues. I've never dealt with an alcoholic tho. The cool thing is I don't walk on eggshells, I did ask some about it, just to let her know I wanted to feel out what it was all about. Didn't rub her nose in it, but out of curiousity wanted some details. That's fair, she asked about my past as well. Nothing to hide.
KC
 

Colossus

Master Don Juan
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In a past life I spent considerable time around recovering alcoholics and addicts. While I've never dated one, I'd say give her then benefit of the doubt since she has quite a bit of time under her belt. If she were newly sober, I'd say no way, but 6 years shows commitment and character.

I dont know if you are a social drinker but personally that would bother me. I'd feel almost guilty if I enjoyed a few beers in front of her.
 

Scaramouche

Master Don Juan
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Dear KC,
If she is a plate,it really doesn't matter....Six years dry? that's really very good,remember,seven years in remission is considered cured for cancer patients....DJ's don't marry,so no sweat really,just enjoy!
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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