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New GF likes to text a lot

jnMissouri

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At first when we were dating neither one of us texted much. It wasn't until a couple weeks in that we started texting daily. Prior to that we'd both go 2-4 days without texting. That was when we were getting to know each other.

In the weeks leading up to becoming a couple and now, we text daily. Her texts have steadily increased, to the point that they start in the morning and go on all day. Even if I end the conversation, an hour or so later there are more texts flowing in. Even at night when I try to end the conversation it keeps going each time I try to end it.

It's a good problem to have, high interest. But my concern is being too available. At the same time, if I tell her she texts a lot, she'll not text much at all. I'm looking for a balance. If I just ignore her for hours on end that will likely also backfire.

I don't MIND the texting, so much as it puts a lot of pressure on me to be engaging.
 

Pierce.Manhammer

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1:3 ratio and keep responses short, but not curt.

Don’t respond too quickly remember you want her chasing. Even if you’re head over heels and want to put a ring in it, familiarity breeds contempt. You’re a man that has an agenda, sure to do, people to see, can be texting nonstop…
 

jnMissouri

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1:3 ratio and keep responses short, but not curt.

Don’t respond too quickly remember you want her chasing. Even if you’re head over heels and want to put a ring in it, familiarity breeds contempt. You’re a man that has an agenda, sure to do, people to see, can be texting nonstop…

Define too quickly, depending on the text or time of day I respond in 15-60 minutes.

Initiating 1:3 texts sure, but if I ignore 2 out of 3 of her messages/respond to only 1/3 of hers I can tell you that's going to get noticed fast....As it stands I never initiate a text with her and never make plans with her, she's the one that always asks when she will see me next and initiates texts.

But I hear ya on the familiarity thing. That's a big worry for me. The texting increases more and more the higher her attraction is. I ignored her sexting last night. Only to wake up to a wall of sexting she had sent in the middle of the night. No issue, I am flattered, and ignoring her texts last night after I ended the convo resulted in her escalating due to her anxiety. Doing what I've been doing has increased her attraction. But I do fear if I am always available I'll be taken for granted. But at the same time, just disappearing all day or for days on end will make her suspicious I'm doing something, which can also backfire...

This problem may solve itself when she goes back to work. Then I'll probably be on here complaining my gf suddenly stopped texting as much lol.
 

BillyPilgrim

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Announce that you will have a super busy period of work coming up but keep up the texting in the mean time. Then in a few days or a week, cut back on the responses and claim it's due to work. You'll have a few days to concoct details to the story lol.
 

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FlexpertHamilton

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As a rule of thumb, I would try to avoid intitiating text conversations for the most part. Let her text you. And another good rule of thumb is to avoid texting back quicker or more wordily than her. It may also help to silence your phone and put it face down instead of anticipating her texts 24/7.

Someone recently pointed out to me that overcommunicating is also bad because it can make you paranoid if you detect subtle changes in her communication. Better to under-communicate than over communicate. I usually tell women I date that it's better not to over-text so we have more things to talk about when we see each other.
 

BackInTheGame78

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At this point it won't matter, she has very high interest.

If done right, it can help her feel connected between dates.
 

ubercat

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Fvck me just set expectations. Babe I m not a big phone guy. That s just me. But I know you love to text. I LL text back when I can.

Then leave your ph at home occasionally. The world won't end.
 
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