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New gf I feel like I can’t do enough

captain55

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I’m at a point in my life where I feel like I’ve banged enough women and I want to settle down. I’ve found a chick who’s gorgeous and everything was perfect up until two months, then my spider senses started tingling.

I am on vacation right now and have only been gone two days and she’s blowing me up angry that I haven’t called (meanwhile I’ve texted her all the time)

She is constantly complaining that I don’t do enough and she does everything for me. And she does do a ton for me I admit, but I’m genuinely trying to do this relationship thing and after living the dj lifestyle so long it just doesn’t come easy. The constant phone calls and checkups etc. She is constantly complaining that I’m not “sensitive” enough. The problem is she’s overly sensitive.

So far I think the positives outweigh the negatives. But I’m not sure if I want to deal with this either people don’t change.

Any advice?
 

Wily

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Sounds like one grand sh1t test or kinda nuts. If she really needs your validation that much, she ain't going anywhere, but careful. If you fall for the trap you're gone.
 

lamath

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Relationship is not a competition on who does.more for the other.

Way too much complaining from her, imagine how she will be after a year or more.
It will not go away even if she has a valid reason, next time its gonna be something else.
She is trying to gain power over you and mold you to image she has of the perfect bf.

Keep your frame

NEXT ASAP
 

Snake-eyes

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Quit complicating things for yourself and justifying why.... next the **** outta her.
 

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LARaiders85

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Relationship is not a competition on who does.more for the other.

Way too much complaining from her, imagine how she will be after a year or more.
It will not go away even if she has a valid reason, next time its gonna be something else.
She is trying to gain power over you and mold you to image she has of the perfect bf.

Keep your frame

NEXT ASAP
She's criticizing him for being an aloof, stoic attractive hard working guy that likes money...lol. literally all his positive traits and exactly why she was attracted to him, she targeted directly.
 

lifewobluelenses

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Been there, Done that. This behavior will not change, you could bend over backwards and she will still demand more. NEXT!
 

captain55

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Tonight out with my boys in Miami. She complains I don’t call her all day. So I try to respond to her texts tonight out to dinner with my friends to keep her “happy” and we end up getting into a fight anyways. Whole night out for me ruined just killed my energy
 

xplt

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I've only experienced one woman with traits like this and i felt stuck with my life.
Constantly demanding to make her a priority/giving her attention isn't healthy. She is stealing your time, destroys your inner peace with her insecurity.
I bet you don't want to live a life, where you have to behave like someone wants you to be or needs you to be.
 

captain55

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She's another Narcississt like the last one, or is it the same girl? Her goal is literally to break your spirit.
Different girl. Not a narcissist but overly sensitive. Way more sensitive than a normally sensitive chick and literally wants to spend every waking minute with me it’s a lot..
 

LARaiders85

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Different girl. Not a narcissist but overly sensitive. Way more sensitive than a normally sensitive chick and literally wants to spend every waking minute with me it’s a lot..
Narcisissm can manifest as extreme sensitivity, especially coupled with extreme criticism. I just dated a woman exactly like this, actually. Don't let her play the "high empathy sensitive person" shell game, take a step back and you'll see how self absorbed she is. The reason everything offends them is because they are the center of the universe so everything is personal.
 

LARaiders85

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markfromeurope

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Sounds like a NPD or BPD 'waif' type.

You really need to check her everytime she hits your self-value (I mean REALLY, if she crosses the line, ****.storm her).

NPD's are warm outside-cold inside persons and first form of attack is pooping at your friends or family in convos in some pretend-to-be-objective manner (observe how she treats her friends - if she consider her friends to be beneath her its a sign you are dating NPD) - don't allow even for that preemptive form of attack at your comfort zone, if you will observe it as its a preemptive artillery barrage really and after a while she will try to hit your self-esteem hard with insencere arguments ("I'm doing a lot for you and you s.uck")

BPD waif type however is more dangerous as she really FEELS that deep inside something is wrong and (obviously) its your fault. No its not. Its just her mind is phucked up. She will gradually transfer this feeling on you and you will end co-dependent (I'd use the word 'infected' as it phucks your brain and make you addicted to sucking up to her).

You really need to do a reality check on both cases and you will have to let go emotional connection you have built between your idea to settle with a woman and this woman you are currently dating.

You are entering her frame and its pure chaos right now. You have been warned.
 

LARaiders85

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I didn‘t dare to come around with this topic this quick, but it was my first thought.
Same, but when I look back on it why else would most guys bother to make a thread here unless something is seriously wrong? I never make threads when I'm dating nicer women, like there's just nothing to say and no need for it.
 

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Barrister

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I’m at a point in my life where I feel like I’ve banged enough women and I want to settle down. I’ve found a chick who’s gorgeous and everything was perfect up until two months, then my spider senses started tingling.

I am on vacation right now and have only been gone two days and she’s blowing me up angry that I haven’t called (meanwhile I’ve texted her all the time)

She is constantly complaining that I don’t do enough and she does everything for me. And she does do a ton for me I admit, but I’m genuinely trying to do this relationship thing and after living the dj lifestyle so long it just doesn’t come easy. The constant phone calls and checkups etc. She is constantly complaining that I’m not “sensitive” enough. The problem is she’s overly sensitive.

So far I think the positives outweigh the negatives. But I’m not sure if I want to deal with this either people don’t change.

Any advice?
The more you give, the more she wants. If you offer any resistance whatsoever you will be branded "selfish" despite ironically her demanding everything. She is a classic narcissist. No matter how gorgeous or how great the sex is this is NOT worth it in the long run. Take it from someone who has been there.
 

taiyuu_otoko

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Any advice?
Get rid of this one and choose the next one more carefully.

For example, choose a girl who's got more going on that clinging to her dude.

And don't be so desperate for a relationship.

Be open to it, but don't look for it.

I'd recommend going back to DJing, only have an eye out for LTR potential.
 

Spaz

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Relationship is not a competition on who does.more for the other.

Way too much complaining from her, imagine how she will be after a year or more.
It will not go away even if she has a valid reason, next time its gonna be something else.
She is trying to gain power over you and mold you to image she has of the perfect bf.

Keep your frame

NEXT ASAP
You think this same girl would do this to a badass dude?

Chances are she'll be feminine and submissive.

It's OP's frame that's the problem.
 
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