i read a "how to get with women" book once that said "never be her therapist" because basically you'll get stuck in friend zone, but what if I (a guy) turns her into my therapist, and get her emotionally/generally invested in me?
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
never be her therapist? what if she becomes like my therapist then what?
- Thread starter rocco
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Michael Chief
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 18, 2004
- Messages
- 424
- Reaction score
- 222
Generally speaking, that's also bad. It becomes less about her becoming invested in you and more about her not seeing you as a potential lover because you've shown too much vulnerability too soon.
I talk about this in my newly released book. It's good to show vulnerability in some ways in managed doses. Pickup artists have even done this strategically. I do it all the time. However, if you're not so experienced, it's easy to slip up and come off as not masculine, as someone who isn't dependable.
In other words, it's easy to get stuck in that "friend zone" if you go that route as well.
Also, bit of a different topic but, if you need therapy, go see a real therapist.
I talk about this in my newly released book. It's good to show vulnerability in some ways in managed doses. Pickup artists have even done this strategically. I do it all the time. However, if you're not so experienced, it's easy to slip up and come off as not masculine, as someone who isn't dependable.
In other words, it's easy to get stuck in that "friend zone" if you go that route as well.
Also, bit of a different topic but, if you need therapy, go see a real therapist.
Last edited:
EyeBRollin
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 18, 2015
- Messages
- 10,539
- Reaction score
- 8,539
- Age
- 37
Don’t do it.
manfrombelow
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 28, 2021
- Messages
- 1,715
- Reaction score
- 2,209
- Age
- 37
No matter which one of you is the other's therapist, the principle here has always been (and always will be) that you do not act like an emotion ATM for a chick that you are not fvcking, for whatever the hell reasons.
After you've fvcked her good at least dozens of times, at that point she would likely enjoy telling you stuff, and you can choose to listen to or not.
After you've fvcked her good at least dozens of times, at that point she would likely enjoy telling you stuff, and you can choose to listen to or not.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
You’ll put yourself in the position of her gay male girlfriend. You become a “girlfriend” to her and not a guy she wants to bang. When you try to make a move, she‘ll be shocked. “I thought we were (girl)friends?” If you do, make sure it’s in very small doses and not a daily thing.
The Duke
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2008
- Messages
- 6,547
- Reaction score
- 11,517
I once became her therapist. In my case it had nothing to do with being her emotional tampon. It was about helping her improve. That's what she wanted, and she knew I could help her. With some knowledge and understanding I had, along with her effort, she took herself from a level 5 to a level 7. She learned some skills that improved her life significantly. She was the student, I was the teacher.
The problem was I started to feel more like her father than her lover. I lost all sexual attraction.
OP, not a good idea. Its not how you generate attraction. It certainly has a manipulative tone to it as well. How about work on your problems? become a better person so others will like you organically.
The problem was I started to feel more like her father than her lover. I lost all sexual attraction.
OP, not a good idea. Its not how you generate attraction. It certainly has a manipulative tone to it as well. How about work on your problems? become a better person so others will like you organically.