"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Neg hits...

fbplayer06

Don Juan
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Hi all.

Today I think I may have done a few too many neg hits on this girl I sit next to in math. We're friends, but until recently (these forums kick a$$), I've been an AFC. So, I was neg hitting her a little bit and I always got these surprised looks, but she's a nice girl, so she wouldn't say something smart back. A couple of times she hit me playfully... this is good, right?

We've been friends for a long time, so she's used to my AFC side and not the new "DJ side". I'm afraid she'll think I was an a$$hole today for playfully making fun of her (neg hit) a lot, but I smiled, so I think she thinks I'm just messing around.

Should I keep up with this neg hit stuff, or back off a little?

I appreciate any advice!
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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RaMar

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if she's reacting positively to your comments- keep it up.
if she's not - back off


simple as that.
 

JSH

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Agreed with RaMar, although go easy on the neg hits occasionally, or at least make them obviously playful as otherwise you might really upset her, especially if this is a sudden change.

Plus i read somewhere on here something that i would agree with, do not use your new tactics on girls that you have already failed with before. It does not work and is tantamount to trying to escape the LJBF trap.
 

fbplayer06

Don Juan
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Thanks for the replies.

It's not that I've failed with her already...although I really think we're in the LJBF zone. I'm workin' on it. ;-)
 

JSH

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;)

Well, she must have already tagged you, rather read up on getting out of the LJBF zone (which is hell hard), dont get there in the first place, than those on approaching and neg hitting. Neg hiiting is great if used carefully and in moderation, but go with what works.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

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