Needs time to find herself

[Starting]

She basically broke up with me but still manages to contact me and send me bs articles like this..

http://hellogiggles.com/broke-up-someone-i-love/

Basically she was in love but unhappy, so she needs to "find herself". Now what does that really mean? I'm confused, my relationship WAS beta-like on my part and now I'm catching up on all the articles and trying to fix myself. I still need guidance. I don't know what to do. I still want her back or at least as a "plate". Should I do no contact for good?

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

She's basically asking for space. Give it to her then. Dont go NC, just go ghost (where you don't initiate anything with her, she has to come to you). Keep your eyes out for other girls, if she doesn't come back, hey no big deal, you got other girls now.

 

[Desdinova]

Basically she was in love but unhappy, so she needs to "find herself".

Women have a huge list of bullshyt reasons that essentially mean "I'm no longer attracted to you". Here's some of them:

- I need to find myself
- I need to do things for myself
- I don't want to be in a relationship right now
- I only see us as friends

And I'm sure there's others that I've forgotten. They all basically say the same thing.

 

[Alpheta]

I find it so amazing how nearly every girl uses more or less the same line when she wants to lay you off softly.

You have to either be new in the relationship game or totally retarded to not have catched on that famous "need space" line.

 

[RangerMIke]

She want's you in her orbit, but you are not a priority... just go after other women. Don't play these games.

 

[Baggio86]

She want's you in her orbit, but you are not a priority... just go after other women. Don't play these games.

^^^ Exactly this. Keep your self-respect and stay away from this one.

 

[Desdinova]

She want's you in her orbit, but you are not a priority... just go after other women. Don't play these games.

Women keep men in orbit for many reasons, be it attention, a girlfriend with a penis, or as an option if her current interest goes sour. Since Baggio is now classified as a former lover, she's trying to soothe his feelings (and hers) by sending him bull5hit articles written by women. I genuinely believe that women feel guilty for wanting to fvck a more attractive man, so they do their version of damage control which is to make everyone feel better about it. As for wanting to fvck a new man, they see it as destiny or fate! The stars have aligned and have shown her a better man!

That is how women work. They're always after the better deal, even if it's non-existent. They'll abandon a stallion so they can search for a unicorn.

 

[badboyjmm]

Girl: ''I Need time for myself, it's not you it's me'' = I'm bored and I want to date people (found a better prospect) or I just miss being a $lut.

Don't be surprised if she end up in a new relationship soon.

So no contact for good, she will probably come back when sh!t hits the fan with the branch-swinging going wrong

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

She's basically asking for space. Give it to her then. Dont go NC, just go ghost (where you don't initiate anything with her, she has to come to you). Keep your eyes out for other girls, if she doesn't come back, hey no big deal, you got other girls now.

BS, OP one day your going to be someone's number one option and they will never have to break up with you to realize that. Screw going ghost, you should be no ones second option. Go NC and she will have to live with that decision she made for the rest of her life. There's millions of girls in the world. You'll be fine with another one.

 

[DonDraper7]

This will hurt you OP, we have all been there and know it hurts like hell. But you must turn this pain into something far greater, it will make you grow as a person. She basicly said she wants to fvck other dudes and not you anymore. Sooner you come to terms with this, sooner you will get past it. Go ghost, don't call beg or plead. If you go to school, college or something like that together, when you see her be polite and if she perists to talk cut it short but always be fun, smile like you do not give a single crap about her or your breakup, don't be bitter. Oh and go after other girls, i'd suggest spinning plates with at least 2-3 girls don't go into a relationship with the next one that comes along, you gotta learn to filter girls.

If/when she comes back wanting something from you, which she will if you act this way either continue doing your thing without her or put her into your girl machine and treat her like other girls. But don't make up with her, ever. It's not worth it.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Stick a fork in it. It's done.

She checked out of the relationship long before you even found out about it. That's what women do. They stay with you while grieving the loss of the relationship, then spring the news on you once they feel ready to eject. They walk away fully supported and coddled by their friends while you're left surveying the smoking aftermath of a bomb you never saw coming.

Part of learning the DJ mindset is becoming aware of these things before they happen. Time for you to completely let her go and move on.

 

[AttackFormation]

This will hurt you OP, we have all been there and know it hurts like hell. But you must turn this pain into something far greater, it will make you grow as a person. She basicly said she wants to fvck other dudes and not you anymore. Sooner you come to terms with this, sooner you will get past it. Go ghost, don't call beg or plead. If you go to school, college or something like that together, when you see her be polite and if she perists to talk cut it short but always be fun, smile like you do not give a single crap about her or your breakup, don't be bitter. Oh and go after other girls, i'd suggest spinning plates with at least 2-3 girls don't go into a relationship with the next one that comes along, you gotta learn to filter girls.

If/when she comes back wanting something from you, which she will if you act this way either continue doing your thing without her or put her into your girl machine and treat her like other girls. But don't make up with her, ever. It's not worth it.

Stick a fork in it. It's done.

She checked out of the relationship long before you even found out about it. That's what women do. They stay with you while grieving the loss of the relationship, then spring the news on you once they feel ready to eject. They walk away fully supported and coddled by their friends while you're left surveying the smoking aftermath of a bomb you never saw coming.

Part of learning the DJ mindset is becoming aware of these things before they happen. Time for you to completely let her go and move on.

Amen brothers.

 

[dude99]

She basically broke up with me but still manages to contact me and send me bs articles like this..

http://hellogiggles.com/broke-up-someone-i-love/

Basically she was in love but unhappy, so she needs to "find herself". Now what does that really mean? I'm confused, my relationship WAS beta-like on my part and now I'm catching up on all the articles and trying to fix myself. I still need guidance. I don't know what to do. I still want her back or at least as a "plate". Should I do no contact for good?

Any time a girl needs time or needs to find herself is basically her saying i want to pursue other men. They dont need time or finding themselves when they love you. Next her.

 

[dude99]

She's basically asking for space. Give it to her then. Dont go NC, just go ghost (where you don't initiate anything with her, she has to come to you). Keep your eyes out for other girls, if she doesn't come back, hey no big deal, you got other girls now.

Id say move on. She is testing the waters looking for other men and if it doesnt work out then she wants him to be her safety net

 

[dude99]

Guys its ok to tell flakes like this "you messed up. I know what you are up to. Good bye."

 

[badboyjmm]

Guys its ok to tell flakes like this "you messed up. I know what you are up to. Good bye."

Nope.

1) Serves no purpose
2) It shows that you are mad or sad, which confirms to the girl that her decision was the right one.

No answer is the best policy.

 

[dude99]

Nope.

1) Serves no purpose
2) It shows that you are mad or sad, which confirms to the girl that her decision was the right one.

No answer is the best policy.

Its all in how you react. Ivehad this crap sandwich handed to me on the past and i just smiled and said i know what you are up to. Then i said goodbye and walked away. 1 week later she is filling my answering machine about how sorry she was.
I see what you are saying though.
No answer yes. But when she is face to face saying to you " i need to find myself," then yes you can call a spade a spade. Dont over react and let it bother you but its ok to call a spade a spade. Then move on.

 

[Starting]

Women have a huge list of bullshyt reasons that essentially mean "I'm no longer attracted to you". Here's some of them:

- I need to find myself
- I need to do things for myself
- I don't want to be in a relationship right now
- I only see us as friends

And I'm sure there's others that I've forgotten. They all basically say the same thing.

She want's you in her orbit, but you are not a priority... just go after other women. Don't play these games.

Girl: ''I Need time for myself, it's not you it's me'' = I'm bored and I want to date people (found a better prospect) or I just miss being a $lut.

Don't be surprised if she end up in a new relationship soon.

So no contact for good, she will probably come back when sh!t hits the fan with the branch-swinging going wrong

Stick a fork in it. It's done.

She checked out of the relationship long before you even found out about it. That's what women do. They stay with you while grieving the loss of the relationship, then spring the news on you once they feel ready to eject. They walk away fully supported and coddled by their friends while you're left surveying the smoking aftermath of a bomb you never saw coming.

Part of learning the DJ mindset is becoming aware of these things before they happen. Time for you to completely let her go and move on.

I agree with every single one of you, and I did become aware of these things long before they happen but it's my first relationship, I didn't know any better. I was focused on trying to be her "savior" and fixing her from a broken childhood and relationships. Before all this all happened, I did get the feeling she was treating my like a second option and giving me bs rejections. She didn't respect me. Simple.

It's crazy how the world works, I see it a bit differently now. I went after an insecure (possible bpd) girl who I had no attraction for, fell in love with her because I got whipped and then got treated like **** and a second option. Wow. Life goes on, I'm not bitter, I'll just move on with my life but I did learn a lot this past year. Thank you all for your replies.

 

[El Payaso]

Pretty much what almost everyone here said. Great advice all around. Listen to them, OP.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I agree with every single one of you, and I did become aware of these things long before they happen but it's my first relationship, I didn't know any better. I was focused on trying to be her "savior" and fixing her from a broken childhood and relationships. Before all this all happened, I did get the feeling she was treating my like a second option and giving me bs rejections. She didn't respect me. Simple.

It's crazy how the world works, I see it a bit differently now. I went after an insecure (possible bpd) girl who I had no attraction for, fell in love with her because I got whipped and then got treated like **** and a second option. Wow. Life goes on, I'm not bitter, I'll just move on with my life but I did learn a lot this past year. Thank you all for your replies.

It's a rite of passage that most of us have gone through.

Welcome.