MyOwnKryptonite
Don Juan
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Alright so my gf's mom is about to pass away. How can I help her along with this or what can I do? For the first time in my life I feel useless
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Need Serious Advice
- Thread starter MyOwnKryptonite
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Mind_Body_Soul
Senior Don Juan
I'm sorry. This is a very difficult situation, but I think you need to let your g/f steer this. People will react to situations like these in one of two ways... Either they seek comfort from other people and will look for encouragement, support, etc. from the people close to them.
Other people need time alone to sort things out on their own. Not knowing your g/f I can't say which she is, but let her guide it. If she comes to you, listen to her, comfort her, make sure she knows you are there for her.
On the other hand, if she doesn't call you, ignores you, etc. don't pressure her. Give her all the time she needs. Maybe send her a quick text or call to say "Hey, I know you need your time, but I'm here if you need anything." Just don't be up her a$$.
Other people need time alone to sort things out on their own. Not knowing your g/f I can't say which she is, but let her guide it. If she comes to you, listen to her, comfort her, make sure she knows you are there for her.
On the other hand, if she doesn't call you, ignores you, etc. don't pressure her. Give her all the time she needs. Maybe send her a quick text or call to say "Hey, I know you need your time, but I'm here if you need anything." Just don't be up her a$$.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Keep it simple and just tell her "I'm here for you, let me know if there is anything I can do to help." If she needs your help she'll ask, is she doesn't ask she'll at least know that you care.
MyOwnKryptonite
Don Juan
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Yeah, Im definitly not up her ass and she knows that Im here for her, shes said that shes happy that Im hear for her. I dont ever bring up the subject, and when she does I do little as possible to make it seem like I know how shes feeling. i've basically just been trying to keep her in good spirits as of late, and it seems like its working, but my mentality is really weird, i jsut feel like im not doing enough, but I definitly dont press anything on her, Im not stupid
Thanks for the advice, I just needed to make sure
Thanks for the advice, I just needed to make sure
MyOwnKryptonite
Don Juan
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Is it normal for a girl's sexual drive to increase in a time of saddness?
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Master Bates
Master Don Juan
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:crackup: What a boyfriend.MyOwnKryptonite said:Is it normal for a girl's sexual drive to increase in a time of saddness?
MyOwnKryptonite
Don Juan
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no no no, I didnt mean it like that.Master Bates said::crackup: What a boyfriend.
It seems like she is being more sexual than usual. I didnt know if this is something that usually happens.
I wasnt asking this to see if I was goign to be getting luckier than usual
LA_Chico
Senior Don Juan
I would put that quote in my sig bro, but I am too self centered