"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Need help with this one.. I'm confused

NewAndImproved

Senior Don Juan
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OP, man, in college I was just like you.

Shyness, issues with confidence, having girls show that initial interest in you (I believe this girl WAS interested initially) and then landing into the friend zone...

It's a long arduous process but things can change if you dedicate yourself to that change. Do you want to be the same person five years from now that you are today?

If not, it's time to change.

The strange thing about social anxiety is that the very thing you don't want to do is the very thing you have to do. ACTIONS ("risky" actions, getting progressively riskier as yo go along) are what change FEELINGS (the anxiety inside). Not the other way around. There's no quick fix here. No hypnosis tapes, no pills...Believe me I tried in the past.

At work now but I'll PM you later.

For now I'll just say don't be so hard on yourself.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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borealis

Don Juan
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NewAndImproved said:
OP, man, in college I was just like you.

Shyness, issues with confidence, having girls show that initial interest in you (I believe this girl WAS interested initially) and then landing into the friend zone...

It's a long arduous process but things can change if you dedicate yourself to that change. Do you want to be the same person five years from now that you are today?

If not, it's time to change.

The strange thing about social anxiety is that the very thing you don't want to do is the very thing you have to do. ACTIONS ("risky" actions, getting progressively riskier as yo go along) are what change FEELINGS (the anxiety inside). Not the other way around. There's no quick fix here. No hypnosis tapes, no pills...Believe me I tried in the past.

At work now but I'll PM you later.

For now I'll just say don't be so hard on yourself.
Thanks man I just don't know what to do anymore...
 

Lord Sidious

Don Juan
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Dec 22, 2009
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Man, please just pay attention to what Pimp and Vatoloco wrote to you. They are 100% right!!!

You joined the most incredible forum, where you can learn tons of things about how to deal with women. So, do what you have to do - LEARN! :)


Take care, bro!



PS: Starting reading the DJ Bible and Pook as soon as you can!
 

borealis

Don Juan
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Dec 4, 2011
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Lord Sidious said:
Man, please just pay attention to what Pimp and Vatoloco wrote to you. They are 100% right!!!

You joined the most incredible forum, where you can learn tons of things about how to deal with women. So, do what you have to do - LEARN! :)


Take care, bro!



PS: Starting reading the DJ Bible and Pook as soon as you can!
Thanks I will do that. Where can I find these?

I know they are right believe me.... It is just really hard for me
 
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