"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Need Help With Escaping Friend Zone

Ian19

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I've been getting to know this chick for awhile and she has no phone so when I don't see her we communicate through e-mail. It's a bad way to communicate I know, but it's the only way when we don't see each other. Anyway, she said in an e-mail that "you already have a friend in me:)" Anyway, worried that I may be headed for the friend zone if I am not already, I need to respond in such a way that she knows I am interested in being more than friends. Is there a subtle way I can make this clear?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Luveno

Master Don Juan
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Go out and ask her on a date. Be straightforward. Call her if you can, or do it in person, and say:

Hi (name), lets go out to get a drink down at that martini bar this weekend. I'll get you at 8.

If she says she wont or whatever reason, or gives you LJBF, leave. If you arent interested in being her friend( like hanging out with her without sex etc) then just cease further contact.
 

Ian19

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I'm definitely interested in her, but my big worry is responding to this e-mail and not saying anything like "I am glad to be your friend, thank you very much." I certainly don't want her to get the impresssion from an e-mail that I just want to be friends.
 

Ian19

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Thanks for the link, good article. I hope I am not completely in the friend zone yet, but if I am, I guess it's worth trying to escape it.
 

Tempest

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Originally posted by Ian19
I've been getting to know this chick for awhile and she has no phone so when I don't see her we communicate through e-mail. It's a bad way to communicate I know, but it's the only way when we don't see each other. Anyway, she said in an e-mail that "you already have a friend in me:)" Anyway, worried that I may be headed for the friend zone if I am not already, I need to respond in such a way that she knows I am interested in being more than friends. Is there a subtle way I can make this clear?
Reply with:

"And your first job as my new friend is to introduce me to all of your hot, single girlfriends. ;)"
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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