Need help coping, post-breakup with a borderline personality disorder (BPD) woman

[Billtx49]

My exact thoughts. So showing up unannounced does what to the dynamic that she is trying to hold together?

Breaks up her little game when guys A and B know about each other. She loses at least one and maybe two.

 

[Ranger]

Yeah that stuff is gold Billtx49 & Red Legg.
Wrecks her little scam going on. Lol

One of the best threads ever. I would have jumped in earlier but I wasn’t fully unplugged yet. I’ve decided that I would rather have more fun with these girls. Good sex. Dirty girls. What’s not to like? Lol

 

[Red Legg]

Breaks up her little game when guys A and B know about each other. She loses at least one and maybe two.

Got to be careful with that sometimes a really evil Siren will "pit" two men against each other in a death match...gives her a power trip..I have seen it.

 

[Billtx49]

Got to be careful with that sometimes a really evil Siren will "pit" two men against each other in a death match...gives her a power trip..I have seen it.

Yep, if both men don’t recognize trash when they see it that could happen.

 

[Ranger]

Got to be careful with that sometimes a really evil Siren will "pit" two men against each other in a death match...gives her a power trip..I have seen it.

Oh hell yes. Seen it myself. Likes to watch the spectacle. The two are completely oblivious that they are manipulated. Figured that one out some time ago.
Sometimes it’s the cheating wife or girlfriend coming clean and then acting like she was the victim and the damsel. Sucks the white Knight right up to the surface and it’s off and running.

 

[Ranger]

So do these women normally make the first move?

 

[Red Legg]

Oh hell yes. Seen it myself. Likes to watch the spectacle. The two are completely oblivious that they are manipulated. Figured that one out some time ago.
Sometimes it’s the cheating wife or girlfriend coming clean and then acting like she was the victim and the damsel. Sucks the white Knight right up to the surface and it’s off and running.

I was reading a story this morning of another BPD victim..Verne Troyer better known as "minnie me" from the Austin Powers movies (drank himself to death) I saw a pic of his "girlfriend" she screams BPD...I want to see a study done on how many men die each year from Siren encounters I bet it would be in the 10's of thousands.Suicides,murders,drug overdoses (there is no telling)

 

[Spaz]

Yep, when they triangulate on you they usually allow for a day in between bangs. She was busy on tues., you can come thurs…
If you show up unannounced, you may run into other traffic.

LOL. This had me laughing.

Really good one. Haha

 

[Ranger]

I was reading a story this morning of another BPD victim..Verne Troyer better known as "minnie me" from the Austin Powers movies (drank himself to death) I saw a pic of his "girlfriend" she screams BPD...I want to see a study done on how many men die each year from Siren encounters I bet it would be in the 10's of thousands.Suicides,murders,drug overdoses (there is no telling)

I have already attributed a lot of suicides and domestic violence incidents to this.
Also why men die earlier than their wives. They really are destroyed. I don’t think it’s because they work too hard. A man was built to work and happier when he does accomplish those things.

I hadn’t thought of the drug scenario as of yet. But now I’m pretty certain you are correct. Heavy alchoholics just flat give up. Destroyed inside and always wrecking his life.

 

[Red Legg]

I have already attributed a lot of suicides and domestic violence incidents to this.
Also why men die earlier than their wives. They really are destroyed. I don’t think it’s because they work too hard. A man was built to work and happier when he does accomplish those things.

I hadn’t thought of the drug scenario as of yet. But now I’m pretty certain you are correct. Heavy alchoholics just flat give up. Destroyed inside and always wrecking his life.

This subject has always fascinated me...I know a private Psychiatrist and I was talking to him about this subject and he told me that male Psychiatrists have been "sucked in " by just talking to female BPD losing their license committing suicide the whole 9 yards...some psychiatrists will refer them to a female doctor and won't touch them with a 10 foot pole...now that is powerful.

 

[Ranger]

This subject has always fascinated me...I know a private Psychiatrist and I was talking to him about this subject and he told me that male Psychiatrists have been "sucked in " by just talking to female BPD losing their license committing suicide the whole 9 yards...some psychiatrists will refer them to a female doctor and won't touch them with a 10 foot pole...now that is powerful.

Damn that is powerful. A passive/female frame can get you dead.
You’re right. That is fascinating.

 

[Billtx49]

Damn that is powerful. A passive/female frame can get you dead.
You’re right. That is fascinating.

A big part of the problem professionals have is not much that comes out of her mouth is actually real. The disorder that effects her personality is so pervasive you eventually don’t know what to believe.

 

[Ranger]

A big part of the problem professionals have is not much that comes out of her mouth is actually real. The disorder that effects her personality is so pervasive you eventually don’t know what to believe.

Crap!!!!!
That’s exactly what happened to me. You get filled with so much uncertainty that you cant make certain decisions that you need to make. “What if it’s not true”, “what if I’m wrong?”
“Is it really my fault because “I didn’t talk to her or listen”?”
“Is she really the victim in this?”

Basically you forget who you are and what you believe to be true. That’s really sinister in nature. Take a man and turn him into a mass of indecision.

Wow. Just wow. I see the truth of that golden nugget bill. That’s really inspiring man. Truly. Empowering for a man to see that.

 

[Ranger]

She’s no victim and she knows exactly what she’s doing. Down to the bone.

 

[Spaz]

Looks like this thread will inspire other men thats been pulled into the crazies vortex to take corrective action before they fall in too deep and turn suicidal.

Thumbs up towards everyone here contributing.

 

[Ranger]

Looks like this thread will inspire other men thats been pulled into the crazies vortex to take corrective action before they fall in too deep and turn suicidal.

Thumbs up towards everyone here contributing.

Yeah. I’m good with it now. It’s all crystal clear now. When I looked at it the first time it was not working for me. There was no out. It was a circular argument with no escape. No chance of empowering a man to take charge.
I’m glad I waited until I could jump in and actually get something out of it.

 

[Ranger]

Yes, and it's done slowly over time.

You'll notice that you can have a fight that mirrors a fight in every way from prior in the relationship but the management and the outcome of the fight are opposites. You'll reference the old outcomes as if it is legal precedent, works initially but eventually won't make a dent.

The absolute most most conciliatory, measured women during the honeymoon will change until unrecognizeable.

By the end when interest level is lower you're dealing with someone that will not give you an inch even when you're objectively obviously correct. In your mind, she's the same person that always saw things your way in the beginning or at least was always able to compromise.

This is definitely and clearly observable. I do know, from experience, that an argument with a woman is utterly wasted time and it’s used it set precedents in her favor and then enforced them as she sees fit.
Then inject confusion and uncertainty.
It is a game. She knows how to get you to react. If you win an argument it was to her favor and her next tool to crush you.

As long as you think she’s valuable. You can’t win. And even if you did? You haven’t won anything.

 

[btownbuck2012]

This is definitely and clearly observable. I do know, from experience, that an argument with a woman is utterly wasted time and it’s used it set precedents in her favor and then enforced them as she sees fit.
Then inject confusion and uncertainty.
It is a game. She knows how to get you to react. If you win an argument it was to her favor and her next tool to crush you.

As long as you think she’s valuable. You can’t win. And even if you did? You haven’t won anything.

Yeah the whole cluster b thing is a nightmare waiting to happen for a normal brained individual who is unaware of what it is they are dealing with.

That rage that I had watching someone I fell in love with effortlessly and without a shred of remorse turn into the complete opposite human being AND get angry that I was upset by it is something that haunts me.

The now you see it now you don’t aspect of their personality has such an effect on you that it can take years after you last see them for you to be able to even understand what you were dealing with. From time to time I still think about some of the things she said and I realize just how dangerous she was. Tbh I’m surprised I didn’t kill myself or her or both in the aftermath of that “relationship”. It was that bad.

 

[Ranger]

I just have a small tip and it’s possible that I am completely wrong.
Let’s say you are talking to a woman. Any woman. All of a sudden, after she said something or somehow changes her body language. That right there IS the communication. Her words are a manipulative smoke screen. To even participate is to empower it. That initial trigger IS the communication.

 

[Ranger]

I just have a small tip and it’s possible that I am completely wrong.
Let’s say you are talking to a woman. Any woman. All of a sudden, after she said something or somehow changes her body language. That right there IS the communication. Her words are a manipulative smoke screen. To even participate is to empower it. That initial trigger IS the communication.

When you feel that trigger flip, she’s already communicated. If you can see and feel that, you can control the outcome. It’s not to win. You can’t think that way. You hold your place in space.
No emotion. If you think it’s just too openly hostile or resentful. Dismiss her. If she is just being frustrated at life in general, just think it’s cute.