Need advice on a weird situation

[PatrickSuavzee]

Met this girl around a month ago , dated for 2 weeks , everything was great , had lots of sex , lots of intimate moments. Then she left for a week to visit her parents abroad. I became beta and a little clingy during that time and chased her . not too much , but just enough to drop her interest level.

Then she came back , for the following week after that she kept cancelling , re-arranging and then re-cancelling dates on me . she started taking me for granted and i could see that happening which culminated to her telling me i am being pushy and needy when i calmly confronted her about it . i did a takeaway and backed the **** off her for 5 days after which she started posting some pretty passive-aggressive stuff on facebook . I stayed patient and calm and did not give attention to that , and surprise .

5 days later she directly contacts me to say she hasn't been very well and her car broke down , but once her car is fixed she asked me if I would like to meet her . I understood that from now on i had to be less available , be a challenge to her and avoid talking too much on the phone. Yesterday she called me at work to see how I was doing , I talked to her for 2 mins on the phone but told her I was really sorry but i had to go because i had lots of work to be done , but i told her i was glad she called me and she should keep in touch . I now plan to dont ask her out again for a while just to see if she will but i get the urge to make a date with her also I'm gonna let her do 100% of the pursuing for a while. Do you have any tips for me ? Should I ask her out again eventually?

 

[lizardking82]

Pick up the phone, set up a date with an exact time and location with her. You're the man, stop being the passive person in this communication.

 

[Toddz]

Spin plates and date other women. She already perceives you to be "needy and pushy" based on your actions, so there's nothing else for you to say or do here unless she magically changes her mind.

"but i told her i was glad she called me and she should keep in touch" - this completely displays neediness and you're displaying lower value here. Basically she has all the power and control in your interactions. Go completely ghost. If she hits you up to hang I'd probably blow her off for a few weeks. You need to completely re-frame

 

[lizardking82]

Man you can follow the above advice but i would not.
You want to do the best thing for you. drop all communication. All of it.
Become a busy guy and lose the neediness.

Dont pick up. Dont text back. Cancell.on her because you legitametly are busy doing somthing else.
Not this pretending crap you read around here somtimes. If you do this you will come off like an ******* and thats ok too.

If shes not texting you somthing like.

"Dude wth i thought we were having fun? If you dont want to talk to me just say so"

Somthing like that. Dont fall for the I miss you crap. IGNORE it. If this frame is not happening to you YOU ARE NOT BUSY ENOUGH IN YOUR LIFE.
But me at the point you are at. I would drop attention 90%.
If it is salvageable at all. Good luck

Yes, and this is the standard thing that is dropped around here everytime. "Go ghost, don't call, do nothing, dissapear". I think that's teaching a man to leave the situation in the woman's hands. "If/when she calls". No, I lead my situations where I want to. I got no time to waste with women who are flaky. He can make one last try and if she's flakey, he leaves knowing he did not dissapear like a little *****.

Try to teach men around here to take action instead of being passive. I am aware that sometimes the best action is no action, but I personally do not judge this one as one of those cases.

 

[marmel75]

I dunno man this sounds like she just wants you as one of her orbiters that she can use for validation.

She was seeing how much she could get away with and it ended up being way too much...

I would walk away personally because I think this is a low quality woman and I could find better. If you want to be dealing with this type of stuff them that's on you. You've only seen the tip of the iceberg as far as that type of stuff is concerned.

Next time she contacts you set up a date. If she flakes or tries to reschedule or says anything but yes and shows up then drop her.

If she attempts to reschedule again I'd just tell her "Nah...don't worry about it...I'm not the guy you get to see when you have nothing better to do. I'm going to focus on women who are capable of respecting my time. Take care."

 

[RangerMIke]

If you want this chick call and make a date... if she waffles or flakes just walk away until she contacts you again. Then try again... if she waffles or flakes... again walk away and go after other chicks. All women do this... just be patient. If she likes you she will eventually come around, in the meantime you MUST go after other chicks to keep your frame.

 

[lizardking82]

Dude, there is no need for such a long lecture on blue pillness. There is no man who is red pill or blue pill. There is, however, using each and everyone of them at the right time.

Let me simplify the situation to you and the OP cause you're confusing him: He started on the right foot, then ****ed up, then got back on the right foot, becoming less available. He didn't do that to "game" this girl, he did it cause he overdid the opposite beforehand, you follow? Now, apparently, OP wants to go out with this girl. When a man WANTS something, he GOES FOR IT. Not stupidly, not always fiercely, but he goes.

He is the man. He doesn't stay home waiting for her to call him. Women play passive in relations, in almost all of them. They want YOU to take action and this doesn't mean you cave in to what she wants, it means you act NATURALLY cause that's how you feel as a man. Right now, he thinks he's playing her and he got her interest level up, but it's a fake interest level. It's not genuine. It's mindgames and mindgames don't last long.

He has now kinda flaked on her a couple of times. Her "interest level" is up. There is nothing blue pill about calling her and asking her out on a date.

 

[PatrickSuavzee]

I got out of this in the most dignified way possible.

Basically it went like this

Her: I am not well lately , not ready to get into a relationship ( bull**** ) gave 6 years of my life to my ex ( blah blah blah blah blah) (You know the gist of what women say)

Me : I understand . I wanna be clear though . I see you romantically - erotically , and i want nothing less than that. You can think about it if you want . If you change your mind . contact me .

Her : Oh . haven't you had any other girls in all this time we didn't get together?

Me : I'm pretty sure this doesn't matter now .

Her : I wanna know , because if you had ... and if you didnt have , then what exactly do you want from me ?

Me : Well, you have an interesting personality and we had chemistry , but tbh I dont know why you brought relationship into the fray. To be frank i didn't get to know you that well to get into a relationship with you anyway.

Her: I didn't talk about a relationship with you ( bull**** she did ) I was talking about my ex. But if 2 people go out for 2-3-4-5-6 months then it's a relationship ( notice how she contradicts herself in the same sentence , keeps arguing , interest level already going up )

Me : We went out for 2 weeks. Then we simply had contact through IM.

Her: ( this is where she gets pissy ) Okay.

Me : Anyway , I gotta go. If what i said before means anything to you , give me a call

Her : Ok. Bye.



I'm moving forward as a victor . She tried to be the hot chick who's gonna deny me a relationship but i flipped this **** on her head. Something tells me she'll be back.
What do you guys think?

 

[marmel75]

I got out of this in the most dignified way possible.

Basically it went like this

Her: I am not well lately , not ready to get into a relationship ( bull**** ) gave 6 years of my life to my ex ( blah blah blah blah blah) (You know the gist of what women say)

Me : I understand . I wanna be clear though . I see you romantically - erotically , and i want nothing less than that. You can think about it if you want . If you change your mind . contact me .

Her : Oh . haven't you had any other girls in all this time we didn't get together?

Me : I'm pretty sure this doesn't matter now .

Her : I wanna know , because if you had ... and if you didnt have , then what exactly do you want from me ?

Me : Well, you have an interesting personality and we had chemistry , but tbh I dont know why you brought relationship into the fray. To be frank i didn't get to know you that well to get into a relationship with you anyway.

Her: I didn't talk about a relationship with you ( bull**** she did ) I was talking about my ex. But if 2 people go out for 2-3-4-5-6 months then it's a relationship ( notice how she contradicts herself in the same sentence , keeps arguing , interest level already going up )

Me : We went out for 2 weeks. Then we simply had contact through IM.

Her: ( this is where she gets pissy ) Okay.

Me : Anyway , I gotta go. If what i said before means anything to you , give me a call

Her : Ok. Bye.



I'm moving forward as a victor . She tried to be the hot chick who's gonna deny me a relationship but i flipped this **** on her head. Something tells me she'll be back.
What do you guys think?

I mean you can believe that if you want to. That whole interaction was a little ridiculous to me and didn't need to happen. You tell tell her all this stuff for what purpose? Made you look like you have no options which she already sensed by her question.

The first thing you should do when you have a good first date with a chick is to immediately schedule dates with 2 more chicks before you scehdule another one with them. Gotta get in that mindset of no chick being that important to you...it will show up in your dates ans interactions with them trust me..

 

[PatrickSuavzee]

I mean you can believe that if you want to. That whole interaction was a little ridiculous to me and didn't need to happen. You tell tell her all this stuff for what purpose? Made you look like you have no options which she already sensed by her question.

The first thing you should do when you have a good first date with a chick is to immediately schedule dates with 2 more chicks before you scehdule another one with them. Gotta get in that mindset of no chick being that important to you...it will show up in your dates ans interactions with them trust me..

My dates went with her were fine . Tons of physical interaction.
to be very specific as the dates went on she kept blowing my phone , every single day . on and on . sex was very frequent , up to 3 times on a single date.
Problem was when she left for 1 week and i got needy.

I told her all that because she tried to play the hot chick who is doing the rejecting but as the discussion went on all of her arguements failed and then she got pissed because she didnt get the satisfaction she wanted.

Dating multiple people at once is not part of the culture here.

 

[marmel75]

My dates went with her were fine . Tons of physical interaction.
Problem was when she left for 1 week and i got needy.

I told her all that because she tried to play the hot chick who is doing the rejecting but as the discussion went on all of her arguements failed and then she got pissed because she didnt get the satisfaction she wanted.

Dating multiple people at once is not part of the culture here.

Well I dont know what to tell you...you can either do things that will be successful or choose not to.

How would anyone know if you were dating multiple people at once if you didnt tell them? Going on 1 date does not qualify as "dating". You barely know the person.

If you want to put yourself at a severe disadvantage then don't otherwise screw the culture and keep your mouth shut.

 

[guru1000]

I got out of this in the most dignified way possible.

Basically it went like this

Her: I am not well lately , not ready to get into a relationship ( bull**** ) gave 6 years of my life to my ex ( blah blah blah blah blah) (You know the gist of what women say)

Me : I understand . I wanna be clear though . I see you romantically - erotically , and i want nothing less than that. You can think about it if you want . If you change your mind . contact me .

Her : Oh . haven't you had any other girls in all this time we didn't get together?

Me : I'm pretty sure this doesn't matter now .

Her : I wanna know , because if you had ... and if you didnt have , then what exactly do you want from me ?

Me : Well, you have an interesting personality and we had chemistry , but tbh I dont know why you brought relationship into the fray. To be frank i didn't get to know you that well to get into a relationship with you anyway.

Her: I didn't talk about a relationship with you ( bull**** she did ) I was talking about my ex. But if 2 people go out for 2-3-4-5-6 months then it's a relationship ( notice how she contradicts herself in the same sentence , keeps arguing , interest level already going up )

Me : We went out for 2 weeks. Then we simply had contact through IM.

Her: ( this is where she gets pissy ) Okay.

Me : Anyway , I gotta go. If what i said before means anything to you , give me a call

Her : Ok. Bye.

This is a horrible exchange for too many reasons to delineate.

After her first text, you respond with,”Glad to see we’re on the same page. Let’s meet Friday 8pm for drinks.”

OP, stick around the site. Much to learn and incorporate.

 

[PatrickSuavzee]

This is a horrible exchange for too many reasons to delineate.

After her first text, you respond with,”Glad to see we’re on the same page. Let’s meet Friday 8pm for drinks.”

OP, stick around the site. Much to learn and incorporate.

She flaked on me 3 times and then she gives me the " im not well for a relationship " speech and I'm gonna ask her out again?
**** that . She wanted to inflate her ego by baiting me and rejecting me one last time.


I'm backing the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck out of that . When and IF she contacts me again then we'll see . For now Im moving forward.

 

[marmel75]

She flaked on me 3 times and then she gives me the " im not well for a relationship " speech and I'm gonna ask her out again?
**** that . She wanted to inflate her ego by baiting me and rejecting me one last time.


I'm backing the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck out of that . When and IF she contacts me again then we'll see . For now Im moving forward.

Why did you allow her to flake on you more than once? Need options brother. Options mean you just move on and focus on the other women.

 

[PatrickSuavzee]

Why did you allow her to flake on you more than once? Need options brother. Options mean you just move on and focus on the other women.

This you are totally 100% right . Should've put her in total freezeout after the first flake and started hunting for more ***** until/and if she got her **** sorted and stopped ****ing with me .

 

[PatrickSuavzee]

Update : She texted me today telling me how she is sick and in bed ( yet another excuse ) and wanted to know how I was doing. I used one word responses until she asked me about why i was responding with so little because she
messaged me out of interest.

I told her " Darling , if you wanna show interest get your little butt into a pretty little box and come find me . Otherwise I'm not interested "

She basically wrote a long wall of text about how she didnt like the way I talked to her but other girls would love it and even if she wanted to she wouldn't .come find me .
She then told me goodnight , to which I didnt reply. She still hasnt unfriended me on fb.

 

[dude99]

Update : She texted me today telling me how she is sick and in bed ( yet another excuse ) and wanted to know how I was doing. I used one word responses until she asked me about why i was responding with so little because she
messaged me out of interest.

I told her " Darling , if you wanna show interest get your little butt into a pretty little box and come find me . Otherwise I'm not interested "

She basically wrote a long wall of text about how she didnt like the way I talked to her but other girls would love it and even if she wanted to she wouldn't .come find me .
She then told me goodnight , to which I didnt reply. She still hasnt unfriended me on fb.

Way too much banter with this girl.

Her "I'm sick in bed right now."

You "it happens."

Her "Blah blah excuse blah blah excuse."

You. Nothing.

Her "hello? Why are you texting with very little answers?"

You "Hey not a good time right now. I'll contact you if i have some time."

As for facebook she shouldn't be in your friends list anyways. You haven't known or dated her long enough to have her in your friends list.

Always always always let them know being added to your social media is for people you are close to and have earned it. Not some 2 week plate who went flaky. This way they feel they need to work to earn it.