need advice..how to handle guys hitting on your girl in front of you

[thejuice]

Why you should not pretend like its not bothering you...

Sire,

I hate to tell you this but if my girl ever went over to talk to a guy who was blatantly hitting on her in my prescence, i would have kicked her to the curb. I think that not only are the guys disrespecting you but she is doing the same by taking their advances seriously. Now, i dont know what exactly happens when you guys are out but it sounds an awful lot like shes not very sure she wants to decline their drinks...

I liked the idea of drinking the drinks that were for her and then giving him a thumbs up in ridicule. That can give you control over the other dudes advances and reverse the tables.

My theory for why your girl goes over to talk to these guys is maybe because she isnt getting enough attention from you and is therfor seeking it elsewhere. Confront her about her doing that...but be cool. Ask her why she went over there when youre right here...or go talk to another girl if she says "that its not like she being taken away from you"...or some other bull**** answer like that.

If thats not the case, then she just loves attenion and needs some reassurance that she "still gots it". I agree with you nontheless when you dont want to look like an overcontrolling @ss by telling her you dont like her talking to guys in front of you but you have to stand your ground. A girl will know when something is bugging you...no matter how good you can pretend. Shell think your a pvssy for being quiet about it and and will thiunk youre weak and submissive to theseoter guys.That cant be good for your standing relashionship. Be firm but cool and maintain your ground, dont give it up to these idiots without a clue. Stop her games immediately...

 

[Ricky]

I think the best thing is to act cool. It shows you know you are the prize.

There are way too many possessive guys.

A funny thing happens to me all the time. I'm just talking to a girl or making eye contact with her and her boyfriend puts her arm around her.

It's almost as if I intimidate other guys.

But I don't hawk in on other guys girlfriends.

In fact many times, I avoid girls that are there with guys. They aren't always dating the guy, so I miss some opportunities.

Which leads to a good question to ask a girl. Say something and reference "So what are you and your boyfriend up to tonight!"

I did this one time and the girl said, no he isn't my boyfriend! I was in like flint after that!

 

[studmuffin15]

i've seen it brought up a couple of times in these responses to avoid scenes like bars, clubs, etc., when u r with ur girl.

WHY???? WHAT ARE WE ACCOMPLISHING??

if we enjoy that setting, if our girls enjoy that setting, and we both have a good time there, are we going to avoid it out of fear that god forbid, omg, somebody might hit on my chick?

PLEEEEEZ

i have never heard anything more stupid in my life. if that is the reason u r going to avoid going into those situations, u know what? u r RUNNING! u r basing ur plans and activities around a certain type of fear factor. u r being a puzzy and total AFC. get with it!

go to a club. if a guy hits on ur girl, and she really has feelings for U, which she should, she will handle her own bzns more than adequately. if the "dJ" starts getting loud and doesnt back off, u can politely mention she has a bf and isnt interested. if it keeps up and u dont mind a police record, throw bombs and show him what is up.

however, the *SMART* thing to do is to quietly leave with ur lady. she will respect u more if u dont resort to violence. u will show that u have kept the situation under control and were confident in how u handled things.

if u guys are gonna predicate ur dating activities around places where ur girl will/wont be hit on, why even bother going out? ur chick can get hit on at the supermarket for all u know!

 

[Sire]

I agree with alot of the posts. Some of you are misunderstanding what is happening in my situations though. She is always with me when we are out and she never leaves me to go talk to some guy, or else I would of nexted her a long time ago. The encounters usually happen when we are togather and someguy walking by says something. She will tell them she's not interested and they will come by later and try talking to her, all the while I'm next to her.

My question is what to do about this and the most popular answer I've read so far would be to keep your cool. I always keep my cool because I always try to stay in control, but what about the repeat offendors? I always stay quiet and calm but I also have the urge to clock one of these fools. I basically want to make sure I'm doing the rite thing by staying cool and not the opposite.


Sire

 

[SoSuave.com]

Moved to The Archive.

 

[librito]

have you notice if your gf is flirting a little with the public and you dont notice it?
or she might be a normal flirty girl who doesnt realize that she is doing it.
that might be a reason why she is being hitted by so many guys.
advise, ,, when in public and you dont want anybody hitting on her, kiss her and hugg her many times. this will discourage and dissappoint the other guys by sending them a message that this property has an owner.

 

[DJDamage]

advise, ,, when in public and you dont want anybody hitting on her, kiss her and hugg her many times. this will discourage and dissappoint the other guys by sending them a message that this property has an owner.

I have to disagree. If someone wants to hit on your girl, they will. Your presence means nothing. Someone who has a tight game might even try something when you go to the bathroom, or even right in front of you trying to make you look like a fool.

Kissing and hugging your girl many times to ward off guys is what a scared individual does because he doesn't want to lose the girl to the guys.

The best method is to have the most confidence as you can muster. You need to work on your charm and be more funny so you can disarm your opponents game on her. It also doesn't hurt if you bulk up and look somewhat intimadating, they will think twice if it is worth it.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Originally posted by librito
have you notice if your gf is flirting a little with the public and you dont notice it?
or she might be a normal flirty girl who doesnt realize that she is doing it. that might be a reason why she is being hitted by so many guys.

Well, In this case I wouldn't even care if someone hits on her or not because I'd never have a Ltr with girls like this.

Zero tolerance for that.

 

[xmlenigma]

... If you are confident that shouldnt bother you..

for any alpha male.. a female who does that.. she is **** testing you.. and if you are not bothered... u have passed the test.. if she sees u getting bothered in anyway.. she has gotten power over you.. u failed the test..

If u think she is not that attracted to you enough then uve lost the battle way before u guys went out together.. she could already be getting guys numbers outside..

if she does it only in front of u.. its a **** test...

Ignore it.. and ignore her later in the evening.. for behaving like that..

if u have more balls.. go talk to other females.. she will JUMP RIGHT BACK ...

 

[penkitten]

lean over and whisper in her ear, this guy seems to like you. if you pick him over me, you can have him. then laugh .

she will laugh . then show you lots of attention.

 

[JackPrescott]

Re: Why you should not pretend like its not bothering you...

Originally posted by thejuice
Sire,

I hate to tell you this but if my girl ever went over to talk to a guy who was blatantly hitting on her in my prescence, i would have kicked her to the curb. I think that not only are the guys disrespecting you but she is doing the same by taking their advances seriously. Now, i dont know what exactly happens when you guys are out but it sounds an awful lot like shes not very sure she wants to decline their drinks...

I liked the idea of drinking the drinks that were for her and then giving him a thumbs up in ridicule. That can give you control over the other dudes advances and reverse the tables.

My theory for why your girl goes over to talk to these guys is maybe because she isnt getting enough attention from you and is therfor seeking it elsewhere. Confront her about her doing that...but be cool. Ask her why she went over there when youre right here...or go talk to another girl if she says "that its not like she being taken away from you"...or some other bull**** answer like that.

If thats not the case, then she just loves attenion and needs some reassurance that she "still gots it". I agree with you nontheless when you dont want to look like an overcontrolling @ss by telling her you dont like her talking to guys in front of you but you have to stand your ground. A girl will know when something is bugging you...no matter how good you can pretend. Shell think your a pvssy for being quiet about it and and will thiunk youre weak and submissive to theseoter guys.That cant be good for your standing relashionship. Be firm but cool and maintain your ground, dont give it up to these idiots without a clue. Stop her games immediately...

Fantastic solution, but a lot of these loser boy-Lotharios who dont know when to leave a taken woman alone, just dont get the hint, and are sporting "beer courage" and think that they are the Kings of attracting pretty ladies. I like the idea about drinking the drink, or perhaps pouring it into a trashcan in front of them, and flipping the bird.....but bottom line, if she is YOUR date, or if you two are making a connection, the only type of communication these Bozos comprehend is when you start getting physical with them. The next time I am talking to a pretty lady and some drunk arsehole interupts us, I am going to not so kindly tell him to his face to get the **** away from my lady, or face me, in the parking lot, and if the woman gets offended, so be it.

 

[Downhiller]

A guy came over to hit on my bird in a bar once......me and my girl were both sitting at a table........I just casually knocked my drink onto the floor...smashing it...getting it all over him he looked annoyed then I raised my voice more loudly so people could hear WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR YOU IDIOT a couple of seconds a waitress came to clear the mess up and I told her the guy was harrasing us....he got booted out. :crackup:

 

[Poindexter]

Re: Re: need advice..how to handle guys hitting on your girl in front of you

Originally posted by JJMcLure
Drink it yourself and wave thanks at him.

Guys doing this are seriously disrespecting you.

Outstanding - a man on my wavelength,


I was at a party with my (now) ex girlfriend, and being the most attractive girl there she got lots of attention. At the end of the night some dude was leaving and kissed her hand and complimented her, as he was walking away, I shouted, 'Hey!' and held my hand out - he walked over and kissed my hand too. He didn't want to look hostile so he played along - but he got the message.

 

[Bible_Belt]

One FB liked to disappear into the crowd and come back with a drink, talking about how all the guys wanted to buy her a drink. I would take the drink from her, and tell her "Good Job. Now go get one for yourself." When she returned, I would repeat the process.

 

[The Juan and only]

Originally posted by Downhiller
A guy came over to hit on my bird in a bar once......me and my girl were both sitting at a table........I just casually knocked my drink onto the floor...smashing it...getting it all over him he looked annoyed then I raised my voice more loudly so people could hear WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR YOU IDIOT a couple of seconds a waitress came to clear the mess up and I told her the guy was harrasing us....he got booted out. :crackup:

It doesn't sound like you handled it well at all.

 

[Think247]

Believe me bro I really hold myself back from hurting these dudes. I'm thinking about setting a major example on the next person that does that ****. I have a very short fuse and I'm surprised at how well I've been taking it..

VBG,
I completely agree with you. And she does tell them to back off because she has a boyfriend but they are some persistant lil fvckers. That's why I want to see some others opinions on this before do things my way.

Safari,
That is what I've been doing, totally playing it cool. I usually just brush it off because I know that I'm the one going home with her, but sometimes guys are a little bit to disresectful, and it makes me want to swing on em. But If I take that route I'll be getting in fights every time I go out and thats not cool either.

Vectors,
We were sitting in a lounge area and one of the guys called to her while she was walking away so she did'nt know what he wanted at first. Then she pointed at me and kept goin so I just gave him a hard look.

Thanks' for the replies so far.

Any one else been in simular circumstances?

Sire:

what if the gf wants to go to the bar with her friends and claims that she wanted to go just to drink with her friends only and nothing else?

 

[jacobsdeception]

Put on your ****iest grin, chuckle, and say "Isn't that cute. I think this guy is hitting on you, babe".

That gives him a couple of choices:

1. agree, therefore subverting any attempt at subtlety.
2. disagree, lose face, and be forced to explain himself.

Unless he is very quick-witted he won't really have an answer that would work.

Fvcking shut his ass down man, don't take that kind of attitude.

 

[Nasman]

Your gf is probably giving guys signals. Smiling at them making eye contact. Everytime I went to a bar with my x girlfriend as soon as I would go to the bathroom guys would be hitting on her. Reason being is she had a wondering eye. Your in a lose lose situation if u tell your girl anything you look like a bad guy, and if you punch a guy out u look like a bad guy. the best thing to do is never act jealous and stop going to bars with her

 

[Latinoman]

It is up to the girlfriend. She is, no doubt in my mind (due to the great amount of episodes), giving these men signals. She is...an attention wh0re.

Either way...it is up to her to deal with the situation. If after her dealing with the situation...they continue bothering her...then it is up to you to deal with the situation.

My experience is (as a man that has been on the other end of the table) that MANY women send signals to the other men...while hanging with their boyfriends.

Very disrespectful...if you ask me.

 

[Nasman]

It is up to the girlfriend. She is, no doubt in my mind (due to the great amount of episodes), giving these men signals. She is...an attention wh0re.

Either way...it is up to her to deal with the situation. If after her dealing with the situation...they continue bothering her...then it is up to you to deal with the situation.

My experience is (as a man that has been on the other end of the table) that MANY women send signals to the other men...while hanging with their boyfriends.

Very disrespectful...if you ask me.

Hey latino man not to grip your nuts or anything but you are a true don juan. You should have your own book out to help afc people u would make a fortune. ^^^^^ Well said. your exactly right.