"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Need advice again about ex

B

brokenupinside

Don Juan
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Ok,you may remember my previous posts about my dr. diagnosed BPD ex,anyway if you don't ,that's the setup.

I got dumped...so far so good.
She engaged in the usual BPD smear campaign,projection,gaslighting...you name it.
I navigated the BPD relationship successfully for 15 years(can you say Perfect Storm?) but when she was diagnosed with another unrelated condition
she had a breakdown and something had to give and it was me,she left,got married to some fat drunk dude.
She has kept contact,I have been NC but it irks me that I never got closure or got to have my say.I mean the projections are unbearable,when you know they are blaming you but it's THEM they are talking about.

The relationship she's in now is obviously a rebound of sorts,spends 15yrs with me and breaks up and in a yr she marries this fugly guy.I guess the need to evade her new reality was too much.

I know I'm going through an AFC period but I guess I wanna see her fail,I want to have that "I told you so" moment.

Should I just let it go or should I make a carefull letter saying all I have to say and then just vanish?

Thanks
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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B

brokenupinside

Don Juan
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Yes,it's so hard tho,known her for 20yrs,together for 15 and she took my kid and she's feeding her crap so she hates me,tough,everybody tells me not to tangle with her in court,your baby(she's 12) will see through the crap and seek you out once she's a little older.

By the way ...thanks Kingy.
 
K

kingy

Senior Don Juan
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no worries mate, i can imagine its a tough situation, children aren't silly and will respect you for not causing drama, also deep down sure your ex wants best for her too, try to move on - life is short x
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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