Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Need a bit of wisdom...

MaudGrimes

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Hey,

After returning to this site (I read some posts over a month or two last year) I've decided to put down my own post and see what kind of advice you guys can give. First I should give a bit of background about myself.

I'm going to be turning 30 this year and though I have had one or two short term relationships I have yet to have what I would call a LTR. This is not all due to a complete lack of success with women - without wanting to sound arrogant I consider myself to be a pretty good looking guy, I work out and I dress pretty well. I have actually lost the exact count of the amount of women I have slept with (I think somewhere between 80 and 90), so again I have had success with women in the past.

I should counter this by explaining where my failings so far have been. I still consider myself to be an AFC; my lack of a meaningful LTR so far has been my refusal to enter a relationship with a woman I know is not at the standard I think I deserve. I don't think this standard is beyond what I should be able to achieve, though I'm getting to the stage (and the age!) where I'm concerned I am going to end up having to settle for somebody. I suffer from shyness in some social situations and find it hard to talk to people in loud, busy environments (for example clubs/bars) - many of the women I have slept with have been after a drunken night out when the shyness is reduced. I also have a knack of saying things without thinking which can turn women off if I say the wrong thing.

In short I wanted to check what advice you can give. I need to raise my game, and quickly. It would be good to hear from any of you who can relate to this story and what you did to up your game. At the moment I have very little in the way of dates, I've tried (and quickly rejected) on-line dating and to be honest I need some direction in the steps I should take in achieving my goal. There seems to be so much advice available that sometimes it seems hard to pick out a few good pointers to start with!

Maud Grimes
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Bible_Belt

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I'm getting to the stage (and the age!) where I'm concerned I am going to end up having to settle for somebody.

Why? Are you trying to have kids? That's the only reason I can think of to feel rushed. Even then, for a guy it's not exactly much of a rush when you can always just marry a younger woman later in life.
 

MaudGrimes

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That's a good point - and I ain't ready to clean up baby shyt yet so that won't be for a while anyway!

I think it's more because my current AFC ways aren't changing so I'm assuming they'll remain like that.
 

pdx1138

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How did you manage to fvck 80-90 women while being an AFC?
 

MaudGrimes

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It sounds ridiculous I know - I can be funny, confident, cool etc with women I'm not interested in and therefore can sleep with them if I choose. It's when I meet a women I think is at the league I want I turn back into that 17 year old geek! It's frustrating to say the least
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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