"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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My mom just passed away this afternoon.

jafyk

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Well, I know we don't know each other personally on here but still it's a kind of like a support group or so I'd like to think. Anyway, I just lost my today she was 59. She had gone in for her regular dialysis treatment and she died. They tried to revive her at the emergency room but to no avail. Although I talked to her last night. I am saddened by the situation and it hurts when you have parents and you don't get to spend quality time besides holiday get togethers and when they want you to run an errand for them. Then they just pass and you wish you could've had more quality time.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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romangod

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I wish you the best. My condolences.
 

KontrollerX

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It sucks man.

I know how it can be having lost a father at the age of 51 to melanoma skin cancer.

The grieving process is difficult but the pain ebbs with time.

Anyway I've never heard of someone dying before while on dialysis but obviously its possible.

Did they figure out a cause yet such as a heart attack or was it literally something about the process of dialysis itself that caused your mother's death?
 

jafyk

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I haven't got the details yet. I will find out more and inform you as I know. Thanks all you guys I appreciate the condonlences.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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speakeasy

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I'm sorry to hear about your mother. As I get older, I'm becoming acutely aware of my parent's age and it's sobering when you realize they have fewer years of ahead of them than behind them. My mom survived colon cancer a few years back and she's okay so far, but I don't take my time with her for granted. It's hard to imagine how life will change when the inevitable happens to one of my loved ones. I don't think anyone can ever prepare for such a thing. One of my best friends lost his mother to cancer a few years ago, and he has only recently started emotionally recovering after much therapy. I wish you and your family the best, man.
 

Atom Smasher

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Sorry to hear it, jafyk. I just lost my dad 3 weeks ago, so I can somewhat relate. I had to watch him deteriorate over a 2 month period, and it was tough. Stay strong, Bro. You will get through it and you will realize the ways in which she positively affected you in your life and others' lives, too.
 

STR8UP

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speakeasy said:
I'm sorry to hear about your mother. As I get older, I'm becoming acutely aware of my parent's age and it's sobering when you realize they have fewer years of ahead of them than behind them. My mom survived colon cancer a few years back and she's okay so far, but I don't take my time with her for granted. It's hard to imagine how life will change when the inevitable happens to one of my loved ones. I don't think anyone can ever prepare for such a thing. One of my best friends lost his mother to cancer a few years ago, and he has only recently started emotionally recovering after much therapy. I wish you and your family the best, man.
I second that.

My uncle (dad's bro) survived a brain tumor many years ago. My dad survived a triple bypass about 12 years ago. Their dad passed before I was born.

Although my dad is doing well at 63, I can't help but be conscious of his mortality, and my own for that matter, as I am genetically predisposed to hypertension and diabetes.

I don't know you but I wish you well.
 

jafyk

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Atom Smasher said:
Sorry to hear it, jafyk. I just lost my dad 3 weeks ago, so I can somewhat relate. I had to watch him deteriorate over a 2 month period, and it was tough. Stay strong, Bro. You will get through it and you will realize the ways in which she positively affected you in your life and others' lives, too.
I remember about a month ago she called me in the middle of the night to take her to the hospital and I wondered when the day would be and how it would be and if it would be in one of those emergency situations and then it just happened on an ordinary day with no emergency just her regular treatment. I spoke with her last night and she had wanted me to help her with something on the 31st. Didn't know it would be the last time. On the upside we all got to spend christmas together. There's a hole in my life but at least she doesn't have to suffer anymore. I'm still surprised though. When I got the call I wondered is it today and then I prayed and hoped it would not be today but alas it was. Thanks for the support guys it means a lot to me.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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KarmaSutra

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You remember her daily is how she'll continue to live. My express sorrow for your loss brother.

Reconcile yourself that she is no longer physically tormented and her spirit is now free to roam.

My best to you.
 

Desert Fox

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I wish you the best in this difficult time. Thanks for sharing this personal moment with us.
 

Gaucho

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My father passed a few years back!

It's a hard time, you find yourself even years later (and who knows how much longer) having dreams about them, or thinking about them on the weirdest occassions.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

Paradox

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My sympathy bro, sorry about your loss.
 

ketostix

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I'm sorry to hear that and my condolences. It's crazy how a person can be here one day and seem fine and be gone the next basically without warning. My parents, especially my mom, are getting up there in age. It's something to think about. That's one downside to having kids so much later, or being the youngest born. It kind of sucks people are losing their parents in their 20's and 30's.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

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