Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

My girlfriend thought meeting up with her ex was a good idea

Joined
Mar 9, 2021
Messages
3,495
Reaction score
2,771
Age
28
Too many knee jerk "dump her" posts here.

No reason to dump her.

She told you, you put your foot down, she complied. What's she supposed to do, bake you a pie and write you a love song, too? She could have just gone to see the guy without saying a word, but didn't. That's a check positive.

She had a life before you. Understand that. Could have been a s*it test to see how much you like her. Now she knows. Good for you. You handled it well. Just don't bring it up again.

I would keep on as before but be aware (not paranoid) of odd behavior, long periods of silence, etc.

Good luck.
How does OP know what happened because he wasn't there? The fact that she told him upfront is actually a big red flag because that is a manipulation technique. She told OP that she was going to drive 200 miles round trip to get her back blown out by her ex. This is not excusable, **** trying to play **** tests in the narcissists Olympics and drop her.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
12,067
Reaction score
10,349
As long as she doesn't see him, it's not worth a dump yet. It's suspicious and sketchy. I wouldn't plan for her to be around a long time.
 

FuzzX

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 22, 2021
Messages
635
Reaction score
391
Age
43
As long as she doesn't see him, it's not worth a dump yet. It's suspicious and sketchy. I wouldn't plan for her to be around a long time.
You must dig being exposed to aids/hepC/herpes/corona etc etc. You can't trust this ***** with a 5 dollar bill let alone your life. Some thirsty ass mother****ers on this thread.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
12,067
Reaction score
10,349
You must dig being exposed to aids/hepC/herpes/corona etc etc. You can't trust this ***** with a 5 dollar bill let alone your life. Some thirsty ass mother****ers on this thread.
I said it was suspicious and sketchy but if she didn't cheat, then not yet worth a dump. However, it is likely she'll do something worth a dump soon.

I wear condoms.
 

FuzzX

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 22, 2021
Messages
635
Reaction score
391
Age
43
I said it was suspicious and sketchy but if she didn't cheat, then not yet worth a dump. However, it is likely she'll do something worth a dump soon.

I wear condoms.
I don't, they're a waste of money. You should be dumping at the first SIGN of cheating. Time is money, don't waste time on someone who you can't trust with your money.
 
Joined
Mar 9, 2021
Messages
3,495
Reaction score
2,771
Age
28
I said it was suspicious and sketchy but if she didn't cheat, then not yet worth a dump. However, it is likely she'll do something worth a dump soon.

I wear condoms.
The fact that she asked permission to do this is cheating. If OP got mad then she would just go visit this guy secretly. If OP allowed it then she would go get her back blown out and just lie and say nothing happened. There's no winning scenario for OP in this situation.
 

Dash Riprock

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 16, 2005
Messages
1,748
Reaction score
3,440
Location
Mile High City, USA
How does OP know what happened because he wasn't there? The fact that she told him upfront is actually a big red flag because that is a manipulation technique. She told OP that she was going to drive 200 miles round trip to get her back blown out by her ex. This is not excusable, **** trying to play **** tests in the narcissists Olympics and drop her.
Show me a girl who's at all attractive and who doesn't keep in touch with exes, doesn't get hit on/propositioned continually, and doesn't periodically use manipulation as a tool. Nuns, <HB5's, and women over 60 don't count.

Your odds of finding bigfoot--and teaching him to tango and mix a martini--are better.

Welcome to dating in 2021. It's a rough sport, not for everyone.

Cold Hard Truth: Sounds like OP needs to check his game. If he were checking all or most of her boxes, she wouldn't be tempted to connect with an ex. The #1 reason guys get dumped in LTRs is that they stop doing all the things they were doing in the beginning to land her. They get sloppy in their game and/or go wussy.
 
Joined
Mar 9, 2021
Messages
3,495
Reaction score
2,771
Age
28
Show me a girl who's at all attractive and who doesn't keep in touch with exes, doesn't get hit on/propositioned continually, and doesn't periodically use manipulation as a tool. Nuns, <HB5's, and women over 60 don't count.

Your odds of finding bigfoot--and teaching him to tango and mix a martini--are better.

Welcome to dating in 2021. It's a rough sport, not for everyone.

Cold Hard Truth: Sounds like OP needs to check his game. If he were checking all or most of her boxes, she wouldn't be tempted to connect with an ex. The #1 reason guys get dumped in LTRs is that they stop doing all the things they were doing in the beginning to land her. They get sloppy in their game and/or go wussy.
It's going to depend on the ex and who did the breaking up. If she deems the ex as higher value than her then it's over because most women are selfish and over entitled af so they will drive away high value men because they can't handle one in the first place. There's a reason a lot of girls will remain single for the rest of their lives and are basically untamable. Instead of wasting your time, money, and energy on trying to tame a Zebra that's a ticking time bomb, men need to start learning how to filter out these wolves in sheeps clothing.
 

EyeBRollin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 18, 2015
Messages
10,627
Reaction score
8,602
Age
34
As long as she doesn't see him, it's not worth a dump yet. It's suspicious and sketchy. I wouldn't plan for her to be around a long time.
She already cheated. Women cheat with their emotions. The fact that she is considering this is certainly worth the dump. This broad is trash.
 

Barrister

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 28, 2018
Messages
2,457
Reaction score
4,154
Age
37
Show me a girl who's at all attractive and who doesn't keep in touch with exes, doesn't get hit on/propositioned continually, and doesn't periodically use manipulation as a tool. Nuns, <HB5's, and women over 60 don't count.

Your odds of finding bigfoot--and teaching him to tango and mix a martini--are better.

Welcome to dating in 2021. It's a rough sport, not for everyone.

Cold Hard Truth: Sounds like OP needs to check his game. If he were checking all or most of her boxes, she wouldn't be tempted to connect with an ex. The #1 reason guys get dumped in LTRs is that they stop doing all the things they were doing in the beginning to land her. They get sloppy in their game and/or go wussy.
Hot chicks talk to multiple guys. It’s universal. Even if you’re in an LTR with them. I think OP did a nice job setting the boundary here. I agree, however, with some others that he has the right to be upset with her expecting he would be OK with her visiting a past ONS 1 on 1 100 miles away. I would begin employing S&D now in addition to the boundary that was set to let her know that this was unacceptable. Dumping would be premature.

See how things go moving forward.
 

Grinderman

Banned
Joined
Feb 13, 2021
Messages
280
Reaction score
299
Until I found out that there was this guy she had a one night stand with 2 years ago. They were still keeping in touch and she was planning to go and visit him (he lives a 100 miles away) after lockdown because she says they are friends.
Right, she sounds a bit of a dopey cvnt. Is she? A lot of women are dopey cvnts and you have to take this into consideration. If she is a dopey cvnt then she did a dopey cvnt thing, but then listened to you when you told her it was a crossing the line dopey cvnt thing to do...

Who's idea was it to go exclusive?

At what point (from first hook up to...) did you go exclusive?

On a scale of 1-10 (ten being top) how would you rate her integrity? What would you base this on? granted it's still early to fully gather enough reference points here...

How would you rate her interest level (as a percentage 100% being insanely interested)? what actions of hers brings you to this conclusion?

How many times do you see her during the week? has her behavior been consistent?

What do you normally do together? level/frequency of intimacy?
 

FuzzX

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 22, 2021
Messages
635
Reaction score
391
Age
43
Show me a girl who's at all attractive and who doesn't keep in touch with exes, doesn't get hit on/propositioned continually, and doesn't periodically use manipulation as a tool. Nuns, <HB5's, and women over 60 don't count.

Your odds of finding bigfoot--and teaching him to tango and mix a martini--are better.

Welcome to dating in 2021. It's a rough sport, not for everyone.

Cold Hard Truth: Sounds like OP needs to check his game. If he were checking all or most of her boxes, she wouldn't be tempted to connect with an ex. The #1 reason guys get dumped in LTRs is that they stop doing all the things they were doing in the beginning to land her. They get sloppy in their game and/or go wussy.
My wife, she didn't have any exes.
 

EyeBRollin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 18, 2015
Messages
10,627
Reaction score
8,602
Age
34
She had a life before you. Understand that. Could have been a s*it test to see how much you like her. Now she knows. Good for you. You handled it well. Just don't bring it up again.
I'm an an LTR right now. I suggest all men clear this shvt about exes before agreeing to exclusivity with a woman. As a condition to being my girlfriend, I went through her social media inboxes and all her text messages, scouring them for ex flames. Any male in either, she had to explain who they are and what their history is. This was done in the heat of the moment so she couldn't plan for it.

The OP should have known about this guy before even agreeing to an LTR with her. She obviously has deep feelings for him. This relationship is going no where positive. It's best to cut her lose before things get ugly.
 

Barrister

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 28, 2018
Messages
2,457
Reaction score
4,154
Age
37
She already cheated. Women cheat with their emotions. The fact that she is considering this is certainly worth the dump. This broad is trash.
I disagree she already cheated. She told him up front what she was going to do but nothing happened. Now, I agree he could consider this enough to dump. Because it shouldn’t be happening. I would try S&D and start talking to other women. See if her behavior improves. If it doesn’t (and I would say it’s unlikely given she proposed this), then dump her. There’s nothing to lose.
 

manfrombelow

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 28, 2021
Messages
1,755
Reaction score
2,246
Age
34
As you may see, I am new here so I'm ready for the full treatment.
I have been with my girlfriend for the past 6 months and things were going great.
Until I found out that there was this guy she had a one night stand with 2 years ago. They were still keeping in touch and she was planning to go and visit him (he lives a 100 miles away) after lockdown because she says they are friends.
I put my foot down and said that's highly suspicious behaviour and that I was not having it. She now says she is sorry and wants us to move on.
My question is, is this just straight up grounds to dump her or should I continue the relationship because she listened to me?
Ask yourself did she ever drive 100 miles to see you and svck your d1ck?

People don't fvcking drive 100 miles even for sex. Let alone women. Women are lazy and don't want to make effort for people who they don't have deep enough of an emotional bond to.

In your case, your woman was ready to drive 100 miles to see another guy WHILE in a relationship with you??? What do you think she'd do there with him if you never found this out? Talking about life? No, had you never found this out, she'd fvck his brains out, and svck his d!ck until his body dries up like a mummy in Egypt.

You can continue to hang around this woman and treat her as a plate, but nothing more than that. And from now on, you better plan your own way out of this by banging other plates beside her, so when Judgement Day comes (aka the day she dumps your beta azz), you won't hurt that much.
 

manfrombelow

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 28, 2021
Messages
1,755
Reaction score
2,246
Age
34
I'm an an LTR right now. I suggest all men clear this shvt about exes before agreeing to exclusivity with a woman. As a condition to being my girlfriend, I went through her social media inboxes and all her text messages, scouring them for ex flames. Any male in either, she had to explain who they are and what their history is.
Sorry buddy but this is beta and controlling move and definitely not alpha, at all.
 

EyeBRollin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 18, 2015
Messages
10,627
Reaction score
8,602
Age
34
I completely agree with you about setting clear boundaries before entering a LTR, but I wouldn't expect even the most interested girl to tell me about every single guy she still keeps in contact with.

If she has, say, 5 totally platonic male friends, you wouldn't expect her to completely cut them off before entering a LTR with you.
I expect and demand it.

The way it works, these plates are auditioning to lock me down. I only bring up exclusivity when they press me down for it. That's when the ex-boyfriend / fling conversation takes place. If her answer is insufficient, I state directly "You're going to have to get rid of those guys." For anything other than compliance, I say "Cool. Let's just keep things the way they are then."
 

Barrister

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 28, 2018
Messages
2,457
Reaction score
4,154
Age
37
I'm an an LTR right now. I suggest all men clear this shvt about exes before agreeing to exclusivity with a woman. As a condition to being my girlfriend, I went through her social media inboxes and all her text messages, scouring them for ex flames. Any male in either, she had to explain who they are and what their history is. This was done in the heat of the moment so she couldn't plan for it.

The OP should have known about this guy before even agreeing to an LTR with her. She obviously has deep feelings for him. This relationship is going no where positive. It's best to cut her lose before things get ugly.
Most women I know would never let you do what you did there and be okay with that. There is a difference between setting good boundaries, which we all agree should be done, and demonstrating insecure behavior. Demanding to go through all of her texts and social media and asking exactly who every single guy is makes you look very insecure. I think long term that is not going to have the desired effect you’re going for.
 

FuzzX

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 22, 2021
Messages
635
Reaction score
391
Age
43
Sorry buddy but this is beta and controlling move and definitely not alpha, at all.
If Alpha is banging some dirty broad, count me out. EyeBRollin is on the money man, you need to vet the hell out of any b1tch you come into contact with. You never know what she might be carrying around in her drawers. Also male friends are a deal breaker, no male friends and you shouldn't have any female friends. Keep it simple, whats good for the goose is good for the gander.
 

EyeBRollin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 18, 2015
Messages
10,627
Reaction score
8,602
Age
34
Sorry buddy but this is beta and controlling move and definitely not alpha, at all.
Most women I know would never let you do what you did there and be okay with that. There is a difference between setting good boundaries, which we all agree should be done, and demonstrating insecure behavior. Demanding to go through all of her texts and social media and asking exactly who every single guy is makes you look very insecure. I think long term that is not going to have the desired effect you’re going for.
Ok then. Enjoy divorce court.
 
Top