"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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my girl is secretive

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bman

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it sounds like you think shes your girlfriend, but she really isnt. and im guessing theres a good chance she has a boyfriend.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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rrrrr

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
Does anyone else read some issues with this given the other things Industry has told us? Reformed "nice guys" who went on dates often may see it.
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If she comes from a bad background and lives in the ghetto, maybe she's embarrased about where she lives, and doesn't want him to see it, and that's why she has to pick him up at pep boys. The only girl I would pick up at Pep Boys would be an "escort" aka hooker. To never let a guy see your house could mean 1)Very shy and embarrased about her house 2) does not want you in her life.

There's just too much of a difference here between these two. It's not a match made in heaven.
 
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Francisco d'Anconia

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rrrrr said:
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There's just too much of a difference here between these two. It's not a match made in heaven.
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Perhaps, but what's interesting is that she feels that she doesn't deserve how he is treating her. That typically happens when a person feels guilty. I'm wondering why she's feeling guilty.
 
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Industry

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She does kind of live in the ghetto. I live in Newport Beach and she lives up in Pasedena. I've seen the outside of her house but never the inside. I'm not allowed inside!!!! I don't think she was raised in a good home and it probably has something to do with the fact that she "doesnt deserve" something better. I don't think it's linked to guilt as much as it is low self-esteem. It sad though because if she would just get over a few things she'd be a really good girl.

To be honest, I'm not sure why I'm hanging onto her as much as I am. I know I can do better but there's something about her that intrigues me. I'm going on 3 dates this week with different women and we'll see what happens.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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