"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
My gf broke up with me.
- Thread starter kk2004
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
if she really really cared about you she wouldn't be able to pick up with some dude 1 day after leaving you. get your head out of your *ss man.
forget her and work on yourself. last time im going to say it.
J
Listin up, she said that over the last month and a half we had been arguing more and more, and I guess thats when her care for me started to deteriorate ans then this last things she said pushed her over the edge. So she started to care less a while ago. The reason its so hard for me to stop caring is becasue she is the first gurl that showed me attention. So I figure i meet new girls to get over her. BUt right now my confidence is too low, im hurt badly. Thats why it was so easy for her to get over me. bcuz this was a long time coming and I didnt see it, cuz she said she didnt want me to get upset, so she tried her hardest to make me happy.
Yes i will. But u said action means things. She spent three hundred dollars on my birthday, and she was willing to drive me everyday from the mall to her house when we hung out. We had alot of sex.
I guess she never cared as much as I did, She probably didnt care much at all.
Do u think hooking up would make me feel better about myself, or should I first try to imporve on myself before I try looking for a realtionship, bcuz right now, I dont even feel like talking to or approaching girls, so if i forced myself to go clubbing and forced myself to hook up then maybe it wud make the healing process easier.
I asked her if she cud even help me hook up with ppl, bczu i dont know that many girls. SHe does.
you don't need her to meet women. you need to work on being happy with yourself so that you can build your own life and meet people along the way.
going out clubbing will probably just make you feel worse. you dont seem to be in any position to deal with the cut throat females that are generally swimming about the club scene.
its fine that she bought you a present, just remember things arent black and white on a day to day basis. even the biggest b*tch will still act like an angel now and then. if they didn't you'd have nothing to hold on to - youd just think 'this woman is a *****' and move on.
its those little gestures, whcih to them mean nothing and which they do just to keep you hanging on, but which to you seem like little rays of hope.
right now shes thinking to herself that shes got the perfect patsy, a guy who will do whatever she wants if she asks, and who she can keep on the sideline until she sees whether she can find a better guy.
you're getting used in my opinion.
tough to hear, but thats life, we've all been through it man. the only way out is to take the time to learn to respect yourself sot hat you never again let some women beat you down like this.
J
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
she was my first love and I got attached to her very much, its so hard to let go of that person. Like my insides feel empty and my soul feels crushed and I feel like I have no hope and my moral is down. She gave me such an ego boast, and she made me feel whole, and worth living for. I got seriously attached, im feeling the pangs of onetitis. Like right now there is no hope or joy in anything I do.
Plus i messed up in the relationship. Our realtionship was going sour for a month, becasue i started acting like an afc again. I didnt come and read the bible as much.
Image when you were still with her, she got a sex change. You said she was hot. Now imagine she shows up and is a guy. What would you do? Would you say, "Gee, I'm not really into guys, but I love you so much that I will still be with you and let you fvck me in the azz."? Or would you say, "Gee, I'm sorry, this is just not going to work out." This is what you did to her. She did nothing wrong.
Yes, she loved you. She loved the MAN you were. Then you decided to embrace your inner wuss. Somehow, you thought this was a good thing. It wasn't. You turned into a woman on her and wanted her to be your mamma and shrink. She fvcked another guy as soon as she got rid of you because she hadn't been with a guy in a while and she missed it. At least she broke it off first. That was pretty desent of her.
Listen, you need to feel good about yourself regardless of how your love life is, or you will fail in all parts of life. This sounds very hard, but is not. You simply have to realize that you are a fine person. You are. God doesn't make junk. Beleive it or not, you can DECIDE to like who you are or not like who you are. Your choice. Be confident in yourself and you will not have to fake it. Fake it when don't feel it and the feeling will come.
Would you feel confident if you knew you could get with women whenever you wanted to? Well, guess what, there is a way you can get there. Practice. Make appoaches. Look at each one as a learning experience. Measure success in terms of, are you improving, not did you get a date or laid. Many of them will shoot you down. Know this going in and it won't bother you as much. After a while it won't bother you at all. Most of all, if you get another gf, don't turn into a little girl on her again.
First loves always end. It is one of the most painful things in life, but one every person goes through. Learn from it. Life is on the job training.
You put to much of your happiness into her hands.......only you can make yourself happy.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
I've been in your shoes before, I'll probably be there again.
Do what YOU feel the right thing to do is. Don't be SCARED. Forget trying to be a player, or a "DJ" or a "PU".
"AFC", "Oneitis", they're all just stupid bollox words, that people use to try and sound cool.
Follow you're gut man, it's the cool thing to do.
cave dweller
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2004
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kk2004,
Do you realize how many single women are out there?
Fvck that stupid bytch and move on.....
cave dweller
Yeah I did turn a wuss on her, well not in the begining I didnt bcuz I tried to fake the confidence and it was becoming too much hard work having to fake it everytime I saw her, so I just said lets see what happens by being myself. Well she said she wasnt happy. She would have been happy unless i had started all these arguments which where usually over my insecurites.
I asked her how she got over me so fast and she said "I made it pretty easy"... I mean forget that di*ke. W/e she does what she wants to do.
Now I realize that first of all, that I and only I need to make myself happy. Letting other people control my happiness is a dangerous game.
She was an insecure hot girl, who loved sex. I didnt have to game her much, she stayed loyal, to all her last bf's for a yr and 4 months, and she was fun to be around, she loved absolutly loved sex. what a rare combo. And I lucked out too, I found her by chance, by taking a risk, i rarely game girls, and i tried once and found her, I know i got lucky, a jewel. But its over so i gotta move on.
Blatant truth
Don Juan
Don't listen to him, or you'll be in the same situation again.
Listen to these other guys on here. They know what they're talking about. Feeling what is "right" and following your gut at a time when you can't think straight is dangerous.
Go against all your AFC logic and cut her off. Hit the gym, do a bootcamp, get some hobbies, improve yourself, and you won't even be thinking about her, you just won't have time.
Later.
I just want to know wheter or not I got lucky, like did i hit the lotto, with this girl.
The traits that i have, and the type of gurl i got, WAs i lucky?
She was an insecure hot girl, who loved sex. I didnt have to game her much, she stayed loyal, to all her last bf's for a yr and 4 months, and she was fun to be around, she loved absolutly loved sex. what a rare combo. And I lucked out too, I found her by chance, by taking a risk, i rarely game girls, and i tried once and found her, I know i got lucky, a jewel. But its over so i gotta move on.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Blatant truth
Don Juan
Ask yourself how lucky could you have been if it's over now? Does it matter? It's the past. Listen to the advice and move on.
she would drive me to bbq's, we would go to the beach, we would go to her house and she would even take me to her grandparents house. Porblem is that i messed up and i dont know if i coudl ever find a gurl like her again.
everyone gets the feelings you're starting to get. the difference is that when women get them they go find some dude to make them feeling special and wanted.
as a man you aren't going to get the coddling you want. deal with it. either that or move back home and get mommy to tell you everything is goign to be alright.
you are filled with self pity and doubt, and in this world, as a man, that will eat you alive.
you dont have a choice either. either stop feeling sorry for yourself or live in misery for the rest of your life.
take hte advice thats been given. stop looking for some woman, or even other people, to fix your life for you. get off yoru butt, start jogging, start reading self help books, start focusing on your studies, KEEP BUSY.
the time for this belly aching and whining is over.
all men have to learn a tough lesson in life - A MAN CAN ONLY COUNT ON HIMSELF.
whether thats fair or not, that's life.
learn it. live it. and move the **** on.
and i suggest you also see a doctor to help you with your depression.
J
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.