My gf broke up with me.

kk2004

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My gf broke up with me, and she told me she doesnt think she could ever feel the same way about me agian bcuz i have some very bad qualites such as being very possesive, and that i lose control over my emotions, and im also insecure. She said she cant be with somebody with such bad qualites that a year later from now, she is going to end up regretting it anyway, because the last guy she dated was also like that. She says its not fair that she puts her self through pain and suffering to end up getting hurt again later on down the road. She figures that it would be just easier for her to not be together.

The thing that sucks is that im 19, and Im alone now, she was my first gf, and I lost my virginity to her on the 5th or 6th date. She was a freak, too and she cared about me alot too, she would always hold my hand and try to comfort me and make me feel good, she realli treated me like a king, she would love me and call me like 4 times a day, we would stand on the beach together, and just watch the horizon. She would pick me up in her car three times or twice a week, everyday from the mall, cuz thats the farthest she could travel on her car. She was hot and she was italian too. She would write letters to me and tell me about great love.

I feel so bad, bcuz we met bcuz of such great chance, I rarely talk to gurls, that day i found the strength to talk to her, was a very rare day, put myself out there, i wasnt afraid. Imagine the odds of finding anohter girl.
 

G-Man UK

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boo hoo.

G-man
 

Wyldfire

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The first approach a guy makes is the hardest one. And the chances you'll meet another girl? A million to one...in YOUR favor.

Just don't let fear stop you...
 

Blatant truth

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The handwriting was on the wall. Maybe now you'll actually read the bible.
 

frivolousz21

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why are u so insecure?

were you abused?


what the hell?


Listen, she never was in love with you..so dont think she was and then stopped..trust me your own undoing stopped that.


so women arent evil..dont get that idea u did this to urself.


Personally I have some trust issues and fears..but none that affect my relationships...

why are u like that?
 

Anurizm

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go out and get you a rebound son, I'm sure she already has ;)
 

TillTheEndOfTime

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I bet you she felt more like a mother than a girlfriend. That's the main problem. It doesn't sound like you were stepping up as the man in the relationship. She'll give you some dumb reasons like she did, but the real reason is that she needs a man and you did not deliver.
 

Royal Elite

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Originally posted by TillTheEndOfTime
I bet you she felt more like a mother than a girlfriend. That's the main problem. It doesn't sound like you were stepping up as the man in the relationship. She'll give you some dumb reasons like she did, but the real reason is that she needs a man and you did not deliver.
I didnt even read this post and was about to say the samething. Never listen to their reasons because if she knew the reasons she would simply tell you so you could change. 85-90% of all human actions are done subconsciously. All she really knows is you didnt make her feel like a woman. You were a little boy in a Man's body and she wanted a Man. Start acting like a Man and this won't happen to you again.
POWER ONLY RESPECTS POWER
Therefore the only one who should be able to influence your will is someone as powerful or more powerful then yourself=so if you were scared to tell her how you felt when she got on your nerves or put her in her place when she got out of it that means she was just as powerful or powerful then you, which would make you NOT A MAN

MAN UP!
 

joekerr31

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be careful not to take this POWER ONLY RESPECTS POWER crap.

With someone with your insecurities that type of thinking could lead you to smacking a woman.

you have low self esteem because you dont respect yourself. Forget women right now - with the state your in the only women you are going to attract are ones who want a guy to fool around with but who comes with a built in excuse for breaking up with one day (ie. your low self esteem or whatever).

Some chics go for guys with issues, because they know they can use those issues as a reason to bolt any time they want and come off looking like THEY are the emotionally healthy ones.

So forget chics for a year and go out and find some self respect. and then when you start dating chics again dont ever sacrifice that respect for anything.

J
 

snintel

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Sounds like you have some work to do on yourself. How can someone who's got 188 posts here not have realized he needs to be confident and secure?
 

cave dweller

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Dump

Hey,

When a relationship falls apart:

One is the Dumper.

and,

One is the Dumpee.

You just became the Dumpee........

Now, get out there and find another one...

NEXT..............................................

cave dweller
 

cactus3178

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Originally posted by kk2004
My gf broke up with me, and she told me she doesnt think she could ever feel the same way about me agian bcuz i have some very bad qualites such as being very possesive, and that i lose control over my emotions, and im also insecure.


The only thing you should be focusing on right now is correcting this problem(s). Don't rush out and get into some rebound 'relationship' shit, it'll bite you in the ass. If you don't get rid of that possessiveness, insecurity, jealousy, whatever...your gonna be in for the same thing every time: getting your ass dumped.

You've got over 180 posts here...maybe time to re-read the DJB, huh?

You'll be alright.
 

hithard

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If all your doing is thinking about her day and night then welcome to $hitsville.Why not start improving yourself.Think of you and how to make your life better.Batting off to how much she loved you is just a waste of time.So long as you learn from your mistakes and move on.Living in the fantasy land where you and her get back together is a sure way to weeks of heartache
 

penkitten

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fek that fekker!
she found another and is trying to let you down softly!
 

Royal Elite

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Re: Re: My gf broke up with me.

Originally posted by cactus3178
The only thing you should be focusing on right now is correcting this problem(s). Don't rush out and get into some rebound 'relationship' shit, it'll bite you in the ass. If you don't get rid of that possessiveness, insecurity, jealousy, whatever...your gonna be in for the same thing every time: getting your ass dumped.

You've got over 180 posts here...maybe time to re-read the DJB, huh?

You'll be alright.
Stop placating these guys. Over 180 post and who knows how many he read and yet still a chump. Why? Because people keep telling these guys everything will be alright, we've all been there. Cut the crap! Tell the Man the truth! YOu are acting like a bit ch and thats why she dumped you. Start being Strong like a MAN pull you skirt up put on some pants and go and find another woman. There are 6 billion people on this planet and about 2 to 3 billion woman. Pull your skirt up and stop crying and go get another one!
 

frivolousz21

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this guy is the reason....I come here and show my sensative side towards my women..and everyone assumes im being a pyssy like him!

man up...stop being a insecure weak bytch.
 

kk2004

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Well

See I know that I have to be confident and secure, but I got sick and tired of having to Fake it, I would force myself to be secure around her and try to act confident. After a while, after she told me she liked me for who I was, I let my guard down and then the insecurities came out. I tried hard to keep up the act, but after a while I got tired of it. Plus the fact she liked me led me to believe I could relax. I dont want to HAVE to to try to be confident and secure in a realtionship, its too much work forcing urself everyday when u just dont feel it, reading all the posts made me try to force myself. Im sure that if i wasnt insecure all these problems wouldnt have mattered. The thing with this gurl was that she actually "liked" my act of confidence and suave in the begining, when i kept it up for a while. We started going out and did for four months. I know I am a VERY insecure person, and shy and soically phobic. The fact that I spoke to her the day I met her was a miracle in itself, im very shy and afraid of girls, esp when it comes to approaching strange girls. The thing that hurts is that she moves so fast too, she knows so many guys, that I feel so left behind. Im sure she'll find someone else to replace me, but how will i find someone to replace her.


Well she broke off with me, and told me that a day after she broke up with me she had found a rebound. I've been feeling like crap the whole week, ive lost my appetite, some weight and Ive drained out my energy, I feel deppressed. Yes i was abused once, when i was young, I was rapped at 7 yrs old, and then growing up I was always singled out by the bullies due to my religious headdress.

I dont know why I am so insecure, yes i was abused, physically and mentally. I started to use her more and more to substitute for filling my insecurities. She made me feel really good about myself, funny thing is that i was never happy with her, she never made me happy becuz we never had a deep relationship, we never talked about complex subject or her personality. She just satisfied me to a point where I had never been to. In the begining I forced myself to feel proud and good about myself when i really didnt, when I started to feel comfortable I let my guard down. I dont want to have to force it anymore but I want it to come naturally. I rember my mom telling me that I sound more like the woman in this realtionship. The reason why it lasted in the begining was bcuz i forced myself to feel secure. Which is very hard when you dont feel secure.

I sit and think that she was my first love, but yet she moved on. My stomach hurts and I cried for the first few days. It was bad.
She messed around with this other dude a day after I left. Its going to take so much to forget about her. How am I going to find a replacement for the satisfaction that she gave me. I was like on a High now Im on a deep low. I know that somewhere she is out with some guy while I SIT AT HOME, doing nothing, thinking and missing the times we had together. I even asked her to help me find someone to hookup with, she agreed bcuz I need someone right now to make me feel good again. Right now all kind of questions are going through my head like damn am i good enough, is she happeir now than she was with the ew guy she is with. Its just very hurtful thoughts.

But what should I do. I agree that right now I need to work on my insecurities and feel secure. Its just that its goning to take a long time before I find a girl like her. I am very socially closed in, she knows many people and I am alone and dont know anybody.

the only thing I am proud of is the way I approached her, she was the stuck up kind of girl, the kind I could never dream myself being with. I saw her talking to my friend in class, and then I spoke to her, turns out to be that she is from the same highschool as me. SO we talk and I act confident. She was the first girl to ever like me and look hot too, she was the first girl to ever like my act or even like my personality a little bit. She had no dad, which made it easier, plus she had a low self esteem about herself, yet she looked hot. So it made it easy for me to talk to her, cuz she looked hot, yet she had a low self esteem. She was quite hott, yet she was down to earth becasue she had a low self esteem, she didnt think she was pretty. Made it easy for me then.
 
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joekerr31

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Re: Well

dude, this is so simple.

you're depressed.

forget women for now and focus on getting better. you can't master women until you've mastered yourself. all the insight on women in the world won't help you if you don't feel good about yourself.

its a horrible reality, but there are tons of women out there who have basically no empathy or sympathy when it comes to men. they only care about one thing in life, and that's themselves. to them a man is nothing more than an object to possess to satisfy their need to feel wanted. Women ARE NOT raised or conditioned to care about men's feelings. Some eventually learn to because they understand its part of a MATURE give and take relationship, but many never do.

the moment they sense that you have issues that might require even a slight effort on their part of support and understanding, they lose interest. Your issues interfer with the narcissistic paradigm they are trying to fulfil.

ironically, when you're depressed and have low self esteem you tend to be attracted to these kinds of women because you they come off as "strong" indepedent women. and deep down you're looking for a woman that doesn't need a ton of support from you but who ultiamtely can support you.

work on yourself and get to the poitn where you feel good about yourself and life and guess what - you'll stop hooking up with b*tches and you'll start chasing after the good chics, because you'll feel you deserve a good woman.

i strongly suggest that you take responsibility for this situation and admit to yourself that YOU chose to be with a b*tch because YOU have issues and YOU are hurting yourself by making bad choices in women.

and that the path forward is to focus on YOU and learning how to feel good about yourself.

trust me man, she's not worth a moment more of your time. she's gutter trash who is out for herself and will never care about the man she's with.

J
 

kk2004

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ic...

the only thing I am proud of is the way I approached her, she was the stuck up kind of girl, the kind I could never dream myself being with. I saw her talking to my friend in class, and then I spoke to her, turns out to be that she is from the same highschool as me. SO we talk and I act confident. She was the first girl to ever like me and look hot too, she was the first girl to ever like my act or even like my personality a little bit. She had no dad, which made it easier, plus she had a low self esteem about herself, yet she looked hot. So it made it easy for me to talk to her, cuz she looked hot, yet she had a low self esteem. She was quite hott, yet she was down to earth becasue she had a low self esteem, she didnt think she was pretty. Made it easy for me then.

plus... I did things with her that I had never done with a girl period. I was a virgin, I never had been in a car with a girl who drove ME, Id never had a girl i went to the beach with, I never had a girl I went to their houses with. This was the first time for ALOOOT of things for me. First time holding hands with a girls, first time making out on a first date, first time i went over to a girls house, first time being hugged, first time locking arms, first time getting head. First time going to a motel.

She was maddd cool, she told me that she never thinks about herself. She actually cared alot, its just that i was SOOOOO god damned insecure she gave up, but she realllliiiiii cared about me look at this convo.

1=me
2=her

2: bak baby
1: hew sweeti
1: hey*
2: so wat did u decide to do today
1: oh im gonna go hang out with my freind paras
2: very good....im very proud of u sweety
1: thank you
2: ur welcome...now back to talking about saturday :-D
1: lo,
1: lol
1: no
1: did u find ur moms old bf
2: no baby im still lookin..bc to b perfectly honest if she hadnt listened to her stupid jealous friends, they probably woulda stayed together, n she prolly woulda married him
1: realli
2: yea
1: that goes to show, that u shud listin to ur heart
1: you know that this whoel thing might have been a blessing in disguise
2: wat do u mean baby
1: i meant that all the things i told u tolday and all the things I told u before, its made me realize alot of things
1: but about ur mom, waht did her friends say
2: they told her that shes crazy for stayin with only one person all thru high school and that she has to meet new ppl....so she broke up with him....and yno wat the friend that pushed her to do it the most went out with him right afetr my mom ended it
1: ohhh, man
1: haha, this sounds like me
1: doesnt it
1: ive already decide in my head tha that i wud be happy beign with u the rest of my life, its cool
1: being*
1: i just hope i keep feelin that way
2: me 2
1: I think the reason i wouldnt would be bcuz of what ur motehr feel victim to, that smae type of thinking
nskkam: fell*
2: exactly
1: do u think if she had stayed with him that she wud have had a better married life
2: probably they did everything together (sadd we also did everything together, very few like her come around.)
1: hmm.. realli
2: yea she used to go on vacation with his family and he was always by her house
1: u mean ur grandmas house
1: :-D
2: yea
2: lol
1: well.. everyones gotta do whats good for them or what they think is good for them at the time
nskkam: I also know that ur special, theres something about you baby, that I know is diffrent that most other girls
1: i realli mean it
1: like not as ur bf but as a person ur diffrent than most ppl
1: I think being with you for the rest of my life would be an amazing thing, u wud make my life so amazing
1: as long as I dont let the thinking that I gotta go out and meet other ppl
2: u really really feel that way about me baby
1: yes i do
2: that makes me so happy bc i feel exactly the same about u
1: I mean i know if im 35 **** like that isnt gonna make a diffrence on how many hookups i have
1: even when i turn like 26
1: no its not
1: Its gonna be money and career
2: right
1: and life
1: so its better i dont destroy something so wonderful to satisfy my ego and do things that teenagers do
1: Im one yr from 20
1: im not a kid anymore
2: thank u so much for feeling that way sweetheart, it means so much to me
1: or a teen, im a full fledged adult.
1: It makes so much sense
2: i love u
1: I luv u too, i cud tell this was bothering u
1: the fact that i didnt want to stay with u
1: bcuz i wanted to go meet other ppl
2: just a little bit
1: and thats not bcuz im nothappy now, but just to fill my ego
1: but that wont even matter later on in life, all u need is ppl to care about u
1: and i already have that
1: cuz im sure ur mom doesnt give a rats ass on who she hooked up with when she was 16 and im usre it doesnt make her a less confident adult if she hadnt, im sure she wants just somebody to care for her
2: exactly
1: cuz ur only a teen for maybe realli 4-5 yrs cuz u hit puberty at 14 and then for like 10 yrs till ur 25-26 thats when u start to look for someone to spend ur life with which is gonna be from, 26-60, thats damn long. and im sure ull regret why u let go fo that person and finding someone who cares so much is very hard
1: so i found u at say 19
1: thats 6 yrs early before ppl start to think about ppl they want to spend their life
2: yea it is
2: god baby u are so amzing
1: in those 6yrs, i wudnt have hooked up that much anyway
1: thats not me, i mean if i didnt do it when i was 14 or 15 i wudnt when im older
2: do u hav any idea how much i love u
1: only when u try to choke me when u come
1: :-D
2: i dnt do it that often
2: do i?
1: lol no
2: :-[
1: ok then sweety
1: no realli baby, i know u love me, how much sometimes i even get surpised
1: surprised
1: cuz i cant even imagine on ow u cud love me more than u do
1: how*
1: like i wudnt be able to think of anymore ways u cud love me that u already do
1: u do everything
2: u r really are an amazing guy...i dnt kno wat i would do if i never had met u that day
2: but sweety
nskkam: yes
2: im goin crazy thinkin about saturday :-*
1: haha lol
1: well think about when ur in the bathroom stall getting urself off
1: i feel like staying with u is a smart choice
1: i retired 6 yrs out of the game
1: and i was never good at it anyway
2: all i can think of is me bein ontop of u with the covers pulled over us and u moanin so loud right at the same times im moanin and the lookin at ur expression as i go really slow and seein how good it feels for u
1: and im so lucky that i found u and I know that finding someone even close to you is a life work of trial and error, like ur life, u had to go through so may relationships to find me. haha look at me, i found u at my first try
2: did u even read wat i wrote
2: lol
1: no i am blocking out any sexual material right now
1: This convo is PG
1: or G
1: better
2: it was even more amzaing wen i was layin down, and i felt like i could barely breathe, and then all i felt was a burst of warm liquid in my ***** and i felt it come out and it was soooooo relaxing
1: babe, be as HONEST as u can be, do u think that if we went our seperate ways that you wud be able to find someone like me that cared so much for you, Im sure ull be able to get into a realtionship and I wud manage to somehow to but what do u think
1: okay
1: jeez yes yess it was nice
1: thas how i feel everytime
1: thats what ejaculation feels
1: like
1: :-D
1: do most ppl in a realtionship care so much for each other as much as we do?
1: relationship*
1: or did ur last bfs do the same things i did, except that i dont cheat on u, but did u last bf have like pet names and do the little things that make me pecial or does everyone do them
1: special*
1: for example like how u buttoned my shirt
1: yest that was so nice
 
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kk2004

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ic...

convo 2



2: ur so good to me sweetheart;
1: sweetheart, i love u baby
2: i kno baby...so do i
1: i just hate phone conversations
1: I just cnat be myself on the phone
1: cant*
2: really then y do u always wanna talk on the phone
1: I thought u alwasy want to, so I do, but I hate them bcuz there so hard, Its realli hard to think up fo stuff to say
nskkam: i like to be online or to be in person
2: ur the one who always wants to talk on the phone insteadof online wen im in work tho
1: oh yeah, bcuz i like the phone, bcuz i get to hear ur voice
1: I feel like I can be myself more so online
1: like there is less pressure to be cool
2: sweety u should never feel that pressure around me
1: I know, but it happens its natural instinct of mine
1: i want to be cool so bad that it happens
1: only on some very few days will i feel comfortable in my own skin
2: i dnt see y it matters so much...i was never cool and i dnt really feel pressured to b
1: oh bcuz i feel that only by being cool will u make freinds
1: or keep ones that u have
2: but do u see me like that
1: like what
2: tryin to b cool to make or keep friends
1: yeah
1: ur telling me that kritina liked u, for u
1: kritsina*
1: when u guys where friends or did u try to make an impression on her so she wud like u
2: no she liked me for me but after chillin with her all the time i started pickin up her habits
1: see thats the hard part, I dont even know who me is, and ino one has ever like me for me
1: I feel like I gotta be cool around you too
1: so u wud like me or keep liking me
1: know*
2: i will love u for u no matter what
1: its just so hard, bcuz no body has ever like me for me, so its so important that i act like somebody else
1: its osmething i guess u learn
1: i guess its left over mental crap from my past
2: remember that one night in the car around the block from eddies wen u were upset and all u wanted was for me to hold u...and u told me that that was the time u were most urself...i loved that person, n no matter how u act one day or the next day doesnt matter to me, i fell in love with the person inside...not the faces u put on the outside
1: or wrong understanding about how the world works
2: u r my baby and i care about u soo much
1: i know baby, but its sooo part of me that, its almost instinct that if i dontact or do what i think is cool or what i think other ppl think is cool then they wont like me
1: dont act*
1: itsd realli hard to change ur perceptions on life and urself, like
1: when i keep telling u that u are so sexxy and beautiful
2: well u dnt hav to wry about that with me...u act however u fell comfortable
1: its hard to belioeve it
1: thank you baby
2: if u feel comfortable acting cool or wat u think is cool or if u feel comfortable with urself, thats ok with me
1: i luv u baby
2: just if its the first one ill help u get more comfortable with urself
nskkam: but im just trying to fix things, i just discovered that i feel that the only way to make friends is acting cool or trying to be what i think is cool, when all u have to be is urself. When im around people I dont feel free, I feel like i cant be myself like there are restrictions on my behavior
nskkam: lol
2: u shouldnt baby
1: like when i was poking you with my stick
1: at pool thats who i realli am
1: i luv playing around
2: so do i.....thats fine
1: sometimes ill just pull down my brothers pants in front of my mom when hes tlaking with her, il just sneak up behind him and just pull all the wya down, he gets soo mad, and then he laughs alot and does it too me
2: thats so cute
nskkam: my brother is prob the only person i feel like that I can be myself
1: and im a child at heart
1: like truely and fully
1: i think
2: im sry im not talkin, im just doin something quick
1: no prb baby
1: do ur work
1: u get payed to work not chat with ur bf
1: i feel kinda bad
2: ok darling
2: lol
2: sry


damn man i had it good. Moving On is soooo hard when u know she was the right one, but your the one who messed up by being insecure. I walked out on her, she was having a block party and I wlaked out bcuz i got mad over her not asking me to dacne, becuz she went and danced with her girlfriend at that time, she meant nothing by it. I took it the wrong way, got upset and left the party after getting SUPPER mad, She said she had, had enough. I had called her a sl*ut twice after getting mad at her, she forgave me, I got really heated bcuz she told me about her past how she sexed 6 guys and hooked up with 20 or so guys in the past. Honestly the past has nothing to do with who she is with you, but it does, she found a rebound realli fast.

She said she tried her best to make me happy, but she was Really unhappy underneath, she said she rarely ever smiled, but she always kept trying to make me happy, bcuz i was always so insecure and down about myself. She said that she wasnt happy for the last month and a half in our realtionship.
 
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