"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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My gf apologized to her ex

topmanbarry

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Is this a red flag? My gf and I were talking abiut Her relationship with Her ex of 8 months and she realized how manipulative she was to him . Things with her family was really bad and she said that she used him as a comfort blanket and someone to be there for her when Noone else wanted to be .She sent a long paragraph about how she is sorry for everything . I don't know if this is disrespectful or if I am overreacting .
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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Take what she says with a grain of salt, and move cautiously. He is occupying her mind and THAT is the essence of getting a girl to like you, even if she has hateful thoughts towards you at first....

Be careful.
 

way2smart

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He is definitely on her mind, maybe more so than you are.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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redbaron5

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I would be more concerned about the fact she is admitting to being a manipulative user of people than worrying about her messaging her exbf.
 

zekko

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redbaron5 said:
I would be more concerned about the fact she is admitting to being a manipulative user of people than worrying about her messaging her exbf.
I agree with this.

I wouldn't sweat the apologizing to the ex-boyfriend in and of itself - unless it was mixed with other warning signs.
 

Dhoulmagus

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Why did you bring up her ex in the first place??? The fact you care means you are insecure and its showing to her.
 

Fireballs

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topmanbarry said:
6 months.
I don't think it was disrespectful. Your girlfriend needed closure and sending that text to him has given it to her.

However, be weary of how she is treating you.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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chuck-101

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Hedge you dealings with her and still meet other women. It's an orange flag, but still a slight concern. But far as she knows, you can care less because she's luck to be with you. Don't mention to her this concerns you.
 

The Duke

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A lot of times therapist will recommend the one in counseling apologize to an ex as a means to get past what is bothering them. I wouldn't worry too much about it, however the fact that she was a manipulator will remain. And someday you might be on the receiving end of that. Perhaps you have helped her understand some of her manipulative ways? What has brought this to the surface for her?
 

sylvester the cat

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Um. Yes. It is a HUGE red flag. Manipulative? Keeping in touch with exes? This would break the boundary code stipulated upon becoming exclusive. Grounds for termination of contract/relationship.
 

GS750

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Agreed. Keeping in touch with exes is always a big red flag. Don't care how she rationalizes it. He's on her mind. Why?
 
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hockeyfreak79

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Yeah 6 months in & she's pulling this sh*t. Anytime a woman starts sabotaging a relationship it's the biggest red flag IMO. This usually doesn't stop......make note OP.

I hear what PAIRS saying that does makes sense, just judge her off her actions towards you OP.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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MillionBillionaire

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A woman... showing remorse and "just wanting some closure.." BUAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHHA BUHAHAHAH times infinity billion.

Yeah right. Yes it's a red flag.

Caps for emphasis.
 

mangotot

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How do you know you if you are being used as a blanket too? This is the thing with women. They could very easily go and find a guy to provide comfort while many men in similar situation are totally on their own. With no support whatsoever and relying solely on their own resources.
 

topmanbarry

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She tells me that she loves him as a friend because he waa there for her in her depressive state
 

zekko

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topmanbarry said:
She tells me that she loves him as a friend because he waa there for her in her depressive state
This sounds like she is having trouble moving on from him.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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