"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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My gf apologized to her ex

topmanbarry

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Is this a red flag? My gf and I were talking abiut Her relationship with Her ex of 8 months and she realized how manipulative she was to him . Things with her family was really bad and she said that she used him as a comfort blanket and someone to be there for her when Noone else wanted to be .She sent a long paragraph about how she is sorry for everything . I don't know if this is disrespectful or if I am overreacting .
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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Take what she says with a grain of salt, and move cautiously. He is occupying her mind and THAT is the essence of getting a girl to like you, even if she has hateful thoughts towards you at first....

Be careful.
 

way2smart

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He is definitely on her mind, maybe more so than you are.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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redbaron5

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I would be more concerned about the fact she is admitting to being a manipulative user of people than worrying about her messaging her exbf.
 

zekko

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redbaron5 said:
I would be more concerned about the fact she is admitting to being a manipulative user of people than worrying about her messaging her exbf.
I agree with this.

I wouldn't sweat the apologizing to the ex-boyfriend in and of itself - unless it was mixed with other warning signs.
 

Dhoulmagus

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Why did you bring up her ex in the first place??? The fact you care means you are insecure and its showing to her.
 

Fireballs

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topmanbarry said:
6 months.
I don't think it was disrespectful. Your girlfriend needed closure and sending that text to him has given it to her.

However, be weary of how she is treating you.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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chuck-101

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Hedge you dealings with her and still meet other women. It's an orange flag, but still a slight concern. But far as she knows, you can care less because she's luck to be with you. Don't mention to her this concerns you.
 

The Duke

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A lot of times therapist will recommend the one in counseling apologize to an ex as a means to get past what is bothering them. I wouldn't worry too much about it, however the fact that she was a manipulator will remain. And someday you might be on the receiving end of that. Perhaps you have helped her understand some of her manipulative ways? What has brought this to the surface for her?
 

sylvester the cat

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Um. Yes. It is a HUGE red flag. Manipulative? Keeping in touch with exes? This would break the boundary code stipulated upon becoming exclusive. Grounds for termination of contract/relationship.
 

GS750

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Agreed. Keeping in touch with exes is always a big red flag. Don't care how she rationalizes it. He's on her mind. Why?
 
Last edited:

hockeyfreak79

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Yeah 6 months in & she's pulling this sh*t. Anytime a woman starts sabotaging a relationship it's the biggest red flag IMO. This usually doesn't stop......make note OP.

I hear what PAIRS saying that does makes sense, just judge her off her actions towards you OP.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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MillionBillionaire

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A woman... showing remorse and "just wanting some closure.." BUAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHHA BUHAHAHAH times infinity billion.

Yeah right. Yes it's a red flag.

Caps for emphasis.
 

mangotot

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How do you know you if you are being used as a blanket too? This is the thing with women. They could very easily go and find a guy to provide comfort while many men in similar situation are totally on their own. With no support whatsoever and relying solely on their own resources.
 

topmanbarry

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She tells me that she loves him as a friend because he waa there for her in her depressive state
 

zekko

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topmanbarry said:
She tells me that she loves him as a friend because he waa there for her in her depressive state
This sounds like she is having trouble moving on from him.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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