"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

My game plan

Devintems

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I'm halfway through The Rational Male, which is one of the best books I've found on this subject. I have to consider myself a rAFC according to his definition. I hate it, but it's undeniable. Reading this book has been one of the most painful experiences for me because I thought I wanted answers, but I didn't know that I was wrong.

More than once I considered going full MGTOW because of the feeling of hopelessness I felt. But I owe myself more.

Here is a list of laws for myself to follow in the course of my remediation.

1. Rejection is final. Whether token rejection or not, I will not pursue someone past initial rejection to protect myself against ONEitis.

2. Never apologize. Not only is this fundamentally Beta, but it makes me feel like crap, and I'm very prone to feeling like crap.

3. Third date sex. Waiting past this is nothing but pursuing rejection.

4. If I feel like crap after a date, I will not talk to her again.

5. A self proclaimed feminist is off limits, even as a friend. Even if she is confused about what it actually is, it's like a Jew and a Nazi. One will end up sending the other to a concentration camp eventually.

This is not complete, but it's all I can think of right now. This is mainly for my remedial stage anyway until I educate myself better and can take more risks.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Alpheta

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never apologise.

PLease elaborate. I find this interesting. How does this help a situation?
 

Instinct1978

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One thing that I found helpful for myself, along with some you mentioned.

If there is any question in my mind after the date about her IL, I walk away until pursued. Basically, if you need to talk to a friend, this forum, anyone about "how it went" it didn't go well.

I try not to over-analysis (one of my worst habits) But, patients has been a tool that has helped since I evaluated my weaknesses.

Keep it up!
 

Devintems

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Alpheta said:
never apologise.

PLease elaborate. I find this interesting. How does this help a situation?
The way I see it. Apologizing places myself as the submissive and her as the dominant. This can only help if this role reversal can be played to your advantage with a girl who is already thoroughly gamed. I'm not in a position at this point of my journey to allow that kind of role reversal.
 

marmel75

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Devintems said:
I'm halfway through The Rational Male, which is one of the best books I've found on this subject. I have to consider myself a rAFC according to his definition. I hate it, but it's undeniable. Reading this book has been one of the most painful experiences for me because I thought I wanted answers, but I didn't know that I was wrong.

More than once I considered going full MGTOW because of the feeling of hopelessness I felt. But I owe myself more.

Here is a list of laws for myself to follow in the course of my remediation.

1. Rejection is final. Whether token rejection or not, I will not pursue someone past initial rejection to protect myself against ONEitis.
That's pretty horrible advice to be honest. It would be like being a salesman and the first time the customer raised an objection just walking away. All that is going to do is prevent you learning how to deal with situations properly that will allow you to get laid at a much higher rate. Sure, some women will just go along with it just like in sales, sometimes you have to do very little work to get the sale. The difference between a good salesman and one who is unemployed is how good they can overcome objections from their customers, and it's no different with women.

Running away at the first sign of rejection is a weak approach and will not help you improve your skills. It will protect your ego which obviously is fragile but it won't teach you anything worthwhile.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

Yewki

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Keep in mind you're putting up walls and blocking out opportunities for yourself with these rigid laws of yours. You can use them as a starting point, but be careful because soon enough they will be holding you back.
 
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