My first-ever cold approach

[harpomarx]

Okay, I've been reading this forum for a while now, but this is my first post. I recently moved from a (relatively) small town to a much bigger city, and finally got the nerve up to do an approach. I think moving, especially to a bigger place, probably has a good effect on you, given that you'll have to get out and meet some new people at some people.

Not sure if this technically qualifies as a cold approach, given that I had talked to the girl a few minutes earlier. She's a cashier at a convenience store, and when I went up to buy a couple of things, I asked her for directions to the nearest subway station. We discussed directions for a bit, and I mentioned that I was new in town.

After I left the store and had walked up a few blocks, I decided to go back and ask her out for the next day. Luckily, there was no one else in the store, and so extra nerves there..... Here's kinda how it went down...

Me: Hey, do you wanna go out for lunch tomorrow? Cause I just moved here and don't own any cutlery or anything... (lame)

Her: Well, if you're looking for someone to show you around town, I'd be glad. If you're asking for a date, I'm already married (doh!)

Me: Married? You look so young though, how old are you?

She says she's 20, and I ask when she got married. I'm not sure if I said I was embarrassed, or if I just looked it, because she told me not to worry, that it's "happened before." After that, I asked her about the city and what she does on the weekends and what there is to do. Once she said she was married, my nervousness went way down, and I was able to carry on a pretty regular conversation.

Honestly, I was happy with myself just for having asked, but after it happened, I wondered a few things: Should I have taken her up on her offer to show me around a bit? I kinda dodged that question, but afterwards figured that it can't hurt to have a few female friends in town. Also, in the future, when dealing with someone else, does it seem creepy to come back a few minutes later to ask her out? I guessed I should have asked her the first time around. I was also concerned I had stuttered a bit when I first talked (a bad habit), but if so I'll chalk that one up to nerves.

Any suggestions or thoughts? This happened about 20 minutes ago so I'm still reviewing the whole thing a bit....

 

[CFERD]

awesome. Why? Because you have choosen to grab your balls and try. The more experience you attain the less the nerves issue will come into play. After a ood dozen or so, it really becomes second nature. Thats not to say the really hot chicks can't cause a little anxiety once in awhile. I think not takin her up on her offer was the right thing. Besides the pontential for a psycho husband, spend your time on women that are available. Whether or not comin back or asking when you first saw her doesn't matter too much, there are rarely perfect moments. good job. What city are you in?

 

[rapidfire]

Agreed. Regardless of the result, major props for the attempt man. Keep at it and you'll be so far ahead compared to most.

 

[harpomarx]

I'm in Toronto. Thanks for the comments guys...

 

[Dannyrt34]

It doesn't hurt to have female friends. You can learn alot from them. And it can help you feel more comfortable with girls in general. But still nothing compares to experience you can get from hanging out with girls that are available.

As for the whole cold approach, looks like you did ok. Just try to be comfortable talking to her and she'll feel comfortable talking to you. Good job on having the balls to do it. If it's your first cold approach, don't worry about how well it goes, just worry about actually doing it, worry about the rest later. Oh and no need to analyze the whole thing too much, quit thinking of what you SHOULD have done. She was taken anyway so no matter what, she would have had that same answer.

 

[Plinco]

I just tried something like that today also. I failed, but I actually felt pretty good knowing that I would have felt worse for not trying. Anyway, not bad on your part for your first try.