"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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My FB started turning into a relationship

H

handle

Master Don Juan
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I've had a FB for about 3 months and we were friends before so I didn't feel comfortable just making it about sex. We hang out a lot too. So now it's starting to get like a relationship and it turns out as I got to know her she's pretty great. Only thing is a term's starting up (in other words, crazy partying) and there's this other girl digging me that's fine as hell, and I feel like I'd connect with too. I'd want to try hanging out with this other girl a bit if I can, but I feel like it's gonna be a jerk move if I don't establish the relationship with this FB soon (not jerk that girls secretly love, just straight up jerk!)

Always go for risky, shinier prospects? If I fvck up stuff with the girl I'm kinda with right now, I'll probably be pretty pissed. But being single is where it's at for January...
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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H

Halloween

Don Juan
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Why stay with your "FB"? You will gain valuable life experience at:

(1) staying with a girl, despite all the seemingly better offers out there (ie willpower)

(2) retaining an exciting and fun relationship over a longer period of time

(3) getting to appreciate and know someone more deeply (which you've already begun)

Basically, this site places a lot of emphasis on the initial short-term part of a relationship, but I want to stress there's a whole lot more to relationships than that, and it doesn't suddenly become "easy" after the f-close.

HOWEVER, it sounds like you're feeling a little bit trapped in the relationship with your FB. If that's the case, it's going to cause you more grief than good in the long run.

It's not a jerk move to not establish a relationship if you're not ready. I would argue the opposite.

Sorry, that was kinda rambly. But my two cents.
 
A

Allurre

Master Don Juan
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She's your FB, why not keep it that way? If your conscience goes on a guilt rush, then reconsider what you want your relationship status with her to be. Ask yourself, is she absolutely girlfriend material?
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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