"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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My FB started turning into a relationship

H

handle

Master Don Juan
Joined
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I've had a FB for about 3 months and we were friends before so I didn't feel comfortable just making it about sex. We hang out a lot too. So now it's starting to get like a relationship and it turns out as I got to know her she's pretty great. Only thing is a term's starting up (in other words, crazy partying) and there's this other girl digging me that's fine as hell, and I feel like I'd connect with too. I'd want to try hanging out with this other girl a bit if I can, but I feel like it's gonna be a jerk move if I don't establish the relationship with this FB soon (not jerk that girls secretly love, just straight up jerk!)

Always go for risky, shinier prospects? If I fvck up stuff with the girl I'm kinda with right now, I'll probably be pretty pissed. But being single is where it's at for January...
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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H

Halloween

Don Juan
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Why stay with your "FB"? You will gain valuable life experience at:

(1) staying with a girl, despite all the seemingly better offers out there (ie willpower)

(2) retaining an exciting and fun relationship over a longer period of time

(3) getting to appreciate and know someone more deeply (which you've already begun)

Basically, this site places a lot of emphasis on the initial short-term part of a relationship, but I want to stress there's a whole lot more to relationships than that, and it doesn't suddenly become "easy" after the f-close.

HOWEVER, it sounds like you're feeling a little bit trapped in the relationship with your FB. If that's the case, it's going to cause you more grief than good in the long run.

It's not a jerk move to not establish a relationship if you're not ready. I would argue the opposite.

Sorry, that was kinda rambly. But my two cents.
 
A

Allurre

Master Don Juan
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She's your FB, why not keep it that way? If your conscience goes on a guilt rush, then reconsider what you want your relationship status with her to be. Ask yourself, is she absolutely girlfriend material?
 
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