"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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My FB started turning into a relationship

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Master Don Juan
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I've had a FB for about 3 months and we were friends before so I didn't feel comfortable just making it about sex. We hang out a lot too. So now it's starting to get like a relationship and it turns out as I got to know her she's pretty great. Only thing is a term's starting up (in other words, crazy partying) and there's this other girl digging me that's fine as hell, and I feel like I'd connect with too. I'd want to try hanging out with this other girl a bit if I can, but I feel like it's gonna be a jerk move if I don't establish the relationship with this FB soon (not jerk that girls secretly love, just straight up jerk!)

Always go for risky, shinier prospects? If I fvck up stuff with the girl I'm kinda with right now, I'll probably be pretty pissed. But being single is where it's at for January...
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Halloween

Don Juan
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Dec 5, 2008
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Why stay with your "FB"? You will gain valuable life experience at:

(1) staying with a girl, despite all the seemingly better offers out there (ie willpower)

(2) retaining an exciting and fun relationship over a longer period of time

(3) getting to appreciate and know someone more deeply (which you've already begun)

Basically, this site places a lot of emphasis on the initial short-term part of a relationship, but I want to stress there's a whole lot more to relationships than that, and it doesn't suddenly become "easy" after the f-close.

HOWEVER, it sounds like you're feeling a little bit trapped in the relationship with your FB. If that's the case, it's going to cause you more grief than good in the long run.

It's not a jerk move to not establish a relationship if you're not ready. I would argue the opposite.

Sorry, that was kinda rambly. But my two cents.
 

Allurre

Master Don Juan
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She's your FB, why not keep it that way? If your conscience goes on a guilt rush, then reconsider what you want your relationship status with her to be. Ask yourself, is she absolutely girlfriend material?
 
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