My ex split with me about a year ago. I took it pretty hard and it came out of the blue. Still not exactly sure why but l have my theories. Since then l got past it and am moving forward with my life. Over that time we stayed in touch but nothing to indicate things were going to return to the way they were. You know just friends that live in different cities. Recently she asked me if she could come and visit me over Christmas. Any thoughts?
"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
My ex wants to visit from interstate after a year apart.
- Thread starter Bear X
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
AttackFormation
Master Don Juan
She had checked out of the relationship long before, was lining up other guys and when she felt everything was in place to branch swing, she told you its over "out of the blue". As women do, she kept a finger on you as "just a friend" in case she feels she could use you for something. A year later she sees such a use. Perhaps her new guys didnt work out like she planned. Maybe she wants to make someone jealous. Maybe cheat. Could be just wanting to check up on how much influence she still has on your feelings to validate and amuse herself. Who knows.
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Doctor Europeo
Moderator
I say bang her if she´s still hot. If she won´t open her legs, kick her out.
R
Ranger
Guest
I guess the guy she left you for isn’t working out too well. LMAO
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.