Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

My Ex started an OnlyFans

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
8,208
Reaction score
4,834
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
I know. There is a joke that says you should not get married if you want to have sex.

Married men dont get laid. Well alot dont .
Yup. My married guy friends and family say “Dude, if I were single, I’d be getting so much puzzy.”

I just roll my eyes and change the subject at this point.
 

Tell her a little about yourself, but not too much. Maintain some mystery. Give her something to think about and wonder about when she's at home.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Divorced w 3

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 20, 2022
Messages
2,991
Reaction score
1,753
If you dont find a thread interesting then you can just skip it. Or you just want attention you dork.
This is a forum for men looking to improve their success in life and with women. Get better physically, mentally and professionally and attract hot women as a result of that process. As such, I see multiple issues:

propping yourself up that you keep in touch with some slam pig from a decade ago that you haven’t seen - This is not how confident men that progressed in life act

You claim you ‘alpha widowed’ - You keep talking to her. You miss her just as much, likely more so, than she misses you.

you’re on here talking out of both sides of your mouth about what she is doing is low class and yet you’re helping her pick her pictures out - more attention seeking

An alternative viewpoint develops in your bat signal thread of neediness and you resort to 1980’s style name calling - not what men do
 
Last edited:

BaronOfHair

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 14, 2024
Messages
3,386
Reaction score
1,536
Age
36
Yup. My married guy friends and family say “Dude, if I were single, I’d be getting so much puzzy.”

I just roll my eyes and change the subject at this point.
Similar to the psychology on display here:


"Now John at the bar is a friend of mine
He gets me my drinks for free
And he's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke
But there's some place that he'd rather be
He says, "Bill, I believe this is killing me"
As the smile ran away from his face
"Well, I'm sure that I could be a movie star
If I could get out of this place"
 

Pandora

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
3,681
Reaction score
3,487
Age
40
This is a forum for men looking to improve their success in life and with women. Get better physically, mentally and professionally and attract hot women as a result of that process. As such, I see multiple issues:

propping yourself up that you keep in touch with some slam pig from a decade ago that you haven’t seen - This is not how confident men that progressed in life act

You claim you ‘alpha widowed’ - You keep talking to her. You miss her just as much, likely more so, than she misses you.

you’re on here talking out of both sides of your mouth about what she is doing is low class and yet you’re helping her pick her pictures out - more attention seeking

An alternative viewpoint develops in your bat signal thread of neediness and you resort to 1980’s style name calling - not what men do

It was interesting because it shows how much money even mid tier women can make online.

If you dont find it interesting you dont have to read or comment.

Dont you have 3 kids you could be spending time with rather than being nasty online? Maybe if you alpha widowed your wife you wouldnt be divorced.
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Pandora

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
3,681
Reaction score
3,487
Age
40
An alternative viewpoint develops in your bat signal thread of neediness and you resort to 1980’s style name calling - not what men do
You started it first by repeatedly calling me a liar. I was very polite at first. Dont throw rocks and then act like the victim.

I dont know whats going on in your personal life but you are coming off very toxic bro. Personally message me like a man or lets drop it.
 

Pandora

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
3,681
Reaction score
3,487
Age
40
The reason I mentioned me alpha widowing her is because i believe I messed up her life.

Girls go crazy after heart break. If I had stayed in her life I dont think she would be doing this.

Every sex worker is disillusioned with love. Her heart was destroyed. I wasnt bragging i was stating facts.

We all have 1 or 2 girls who will never get over us. Its not a good thing.
 

Pandora

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
3,681
Reaction score
3,487
Age
40
I dated a girl who later became a stripper.
These things happen.
Did she become a stripper because of you? I believe if the alpha widow had guided the girl then she would have not become a stripper.

I really believe that first heart break is pivotal moment in a females ( to a lesser degree male) trajectory. Sheryl Crow made a hit song about it lol.

After me she just didnt care anymore. She lost alot of weight went thru depression, hoe phase etc.

I called up all the girls i used to date and apologized for how I acted.

Idk man i could be full of shyt.
 

Pandora

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
3,681
Reaction score
3,487
Age
40
Yup. My married guy friends and family say “Dude, if I were single, I’d be getting so much puzzy.”

I just roll my eyes and change the subject at this point.
.
Yeh married guys dont know how much the game has changed. I also noticed married guys with daughters are ardent male feminist. They are very gynocentric in their views.
 

Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Hamurabimbi

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 4, 2018
Messages
4,010
Reaction score
3,462
Location
California
Did she become a stripper because of you? I believe if the alpha widow had guided the girl then she would have not become a stripper.

I really believe that first heart break is pivotal moment in a females ( to a lesser degree male) trajectory. Sheryl Crow made a hit song about it lol.

After me she just didnt care anymore. She lost alot of weight went thru depression, hoe phase etc.

I called up all the girls i used to date and apologized for how I acted.

Idk man i could be full of shyt.
Probably not because of me.
She was a VERY horny girl and loved sfx.
And had a hot body.

At least she didn’t become a p0rn star.
 

BaronOfHair

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 14, 2024
Messages
3,386
Reaction score
1,536
Age
36
Bright side: An ex getting into OnlyFans still beats your teenage dream ending
 

jhonny9546

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 17, 2024
Messages
1,563
Reaction score
275
Location
Italy
I am an alpha widower of a girl. She is one of two women who have never forgotten me. We haven't seen each other in almost 10 years.

The demand for sex work online is HUGE. A brave new world my friends.
I know women in my country who number 1 million a year. They are attractive.

Did she ever tell you how you made her an alpha widow?
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
14,997
Reaction score
12,268
My married guy friends and family say “Dude, if I were single, I’d be getting so much puzzy.”
They likely wouldn't be. They would likely be unmarried guys struggling to get attention.

They also likely are long term married (more than 3-5 years) and their wives aren't giving them as much sex because their wives lack sexual interest in them. Much of this is related to frame decay (common in LTRs/marriages after a certain point). Married men tend to display more beta traits or more extreme versions of beta traits, which kills attraction and sexual interest.
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
8,208
Reaction score
4,834
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
They likely wouldn't be. They would likely be unmarried guys struggling to get attention.
Exactly.

At best, they are noticing women being friendly to them (because they are married/safe) and assuming these same women would jump their bones if the guy were single.

Or they think that, with the freedom of being single, they would suddenly become some Grand Master PUA.
 
Last edited:

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
8,208
Reaction score
4,834
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
Married men tend to display more beta traits or more extreme versions of beta traits, which kills attraction and sexual interest.
On the topic of attraction, while we agree that clothing/fashion isn’t a big factor in attraction, many do dress very conservatively. Often wifey picks out boring but acceptable clothes for him. Or she won’t let him buy nicer clothes because he’s not allowed to spend too much on himself.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
14,997
Reaction score
12,268
On the topic of attraction, while we agree that clothing/fashion isn’t a big factor in attraction, many do dress very conservatively. Often wifey picks out boring but acceptable clothes for him. Or she won’t let him buy nicer clothes because he’s not allowed to spend too much on himself.
This is relevant. This becomes more relevant for men who are married/live together with girlfriends and the relationship is longer than 5 years.

Wives, long term girlfriends, and mothers tend to pick out boring but acceptable clothes for their husbands, long term boyfriends, or unmarried sons.

When I was in high school and college, my mom had a terrible habit of picking out clothes for me that were too conservative. They were nice clothes but more acceptable for refined social situations as a 30+ year old married man. Imagine going to college with a wardrobe with too many classy type polo/collared shirts and fine gauge sweaters for leisure situations. Younger, unmarried women in leisure situations tend to respond better to guys in t-shirts. I kept many of her outfit choices but relegated them to fewer situations and instead tried to opt for clothing styles that would get more sexual responses than polo/collared shirts. My mom's choices were classic styles that never became outdated. They were the kinds of clothes that are equally in style whether it is 1985, 2005, or 2025.

Wives, long term girlfriends, and mothers can pick out some good shirts and good outfits for business casual wear for white collar working setting (an office or for video calls in white collar settings).

It's a good idea for all men to go through their wardrobes every 2-5 years and make any changes. Some clothes getting too worn out and some clothes do go out of style. Some also might not be useful for certain social settings if there are changes, such as becoming newly divorced and needing to meet women for the first time in X number of years.

At best, they are noticing women being friendly to them (because they are married/safe) and assuming these same women would jump their bones if the guy were single.

Or they think that, with the freedom of being single, they would suddenly become some Grand Master PUA.
Married men tend to get more attention from women in general because of that safeness factor.

There's even been debate among unmarried men for decades about whether or not to wear a fake wedding ring to attract more women. My take is that's generally a bad idea that will backfire.

If the typical married man got divorced or widowed, he would revert to the attention levels that he got before he was married.

A lot of this depends on the age of the man and how long he's been in a relationship.

If we're taking about a 50 year old man who has been with the same woman for 25 years (since the year 2000), he would have a rough time being newly single. This hypothetical 50 year old man would have likely have 2 kids between ages 14-20. From 1995-2000, the last time he was single (ages 20-25), the mating environment was far different in general and far different to his specific circumstances. In 1995-2000, he was dating fellow childless early 20 something. In 2025, as a newly single 50 year man with kids who are teens/young adults, he's probably dating 40 something single moms. That's a different audience. Plus, since 2000, dating technology changed. Online dating websites got de-stigmatized, then swipe apps came around. Smartphones and social media got invented and popularized. Bar game has changed. Non-bar approaching is probably the most constant option as compared to 2000, but even non-bar approaches have been affected by headphones and earbuds.

Most of my married friends/acquaintances are in their mid-30s to early 40s and have been with the same woman since 2010-2015. There have been fewer technological changes since they started because smartphones and social media were around when they started. Most started after online dating had become de-stigmatized and some even got to see the early days of swipe apps. For most of my married friends/acquaintances, their biggest challenge in re-entry would be the presence of children. Most of them have young children under 5 right now.

Most of the married people I know around my age don't express any desire to be single themselves right now. However, multiple married men have told me that they would have liked to have made different choices. They have told me that my life path choice of never marrying and not having children is a superior path to the path they've chosen. I also suspect certain married fathers and even certain single dads I know who are around my age also feel that way about me, even if they've never said it out loud to me.
 
Top