"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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My biggest problem

steve_erkle

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I'm not really a big fan of approaching and **** because I'm still in high school and there's already a lot of hotties there and I know most of them. So the whole cold approaching ascept is unimportant to me.

What is important to me is inner game, just being confident and natural. I believe that if you are completely confident and natural, everything comes to you easily and there's no need for techniques or stuff like that. My problem is that I am a bit shy, and don't really have that confidence. And I don't just mean around girls, I mean everyone, including friends and family. I constantly subconciously feel like I'm holding back from being myself and can't let go of my inhibitions.

I know that I have a awesome personality because back when I wasn't shy like this and was confident I attracted some awesome people and I was just a lot of fun. I want to be like this again, but idk how.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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steve_erkle

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I haven't read the whole book but I read some of his good stuff. I dont mean to sound like a **** but I've been reading stuff like that for two years so I'm doubtful it will make a big difference. I guess I could be wrong though.

Anyone else been in my situation ?
 

Warrior74

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What happened to make you retreat back into a shell? Do you know? Figure that out.

Start taking action. You sound like you are afraid. So how do you get over fear? By thinking about it? By mulling it over? Or by doing what you are afraid of? Face your fear or it will climb up your back and consume you.

Say one thing everyday that you are terrified of saying. Say it anyway. Accept the consequences. And watch that it won't be as bad as you think. I promise. Good luck.
 

steve_erkle

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Warrior74 said:
What happened to make you retreat back into a shell? Do you know? Figure that out.

Start taking action. You sound like you are afraid. So how do you get over fear? By thinking about it? By mulling it over? Or by doing what you are afraid of? Face your fear or it will climb up your back and consume you.

Say one thing everyday that you are terrified of saying. Say it anyway. Accept the consequences. And watch that it won't be as bad as you think. I promise. Good luck.
Well, I had been shy all my life, and then I met this amazing girl and realized I wanted her and completely changed myself to get her. I started working out, seriously improved my looks, and uhh.. I guess when girls started liking the way I looked I got confidence from that which helped me make some friends and etc. So everything went up from there and I got the girl and people started liking me and looking up to me. Suddenl all the girlswanted me, but I was serious abcout my girl, so I ignored the others. For some reason i started losing my confidenxe and i broke up with herWhen we broke up I was devastated, and uhh yeah I haven't really had the confidence since then. I'm over her.. This was like two years ago.

Hmm.. It's not really that I'm scared it's just that I never feel like myself. I think. **** haha I don't even know what it is.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Warrior74 said:
What happened to make you retreat back into a shell? Do you know? Figure that out.

Start taking action. You sound like you are afraid. So how do you get over fear? By thinking about it? By mulling it over? Or by doing what you are afraid of? Face your fear or it will climb up your back and consume you.

Say one thing everyday that you are terrified of saying. Say it anyway. Accept the consequences. And watch that it won't be as bad as you think. I promise. Good luck.

yes it happened to me, minus getting a hot girlfriend, i got over it , once i accepetd reality, and started being myself, high school is the craziest social setting u can be in, but if u know anything about social dynamics u can be the man, take in what these guys are telling you

i just graduated in 07 and I'm a totally different dude, **** all the girls u can, and dont care what others think, i mean dont go over the edge and stop taking showers, i mean like always have your chin centered, always think positive, grow as person, go on college tours alot of those chicks get freaky in the hotels, everything ur going isnt new someone else has lived it , some are still living it while others have moved on and grown as a person, regain your confidence go get some coochie and you'll feel much better
 

xdreamz

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i dont know if itll work for you but pretending i was a lost student got me pretty damn far.
 

steve_erkle

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imaginemypotential said:
yes it happened to me, minus getting a hot girlfriend, i got over it , once i accepetd reality, and started being myself, high school is the craziest social setting u can be in, but if u know anything about social dynamics u can be the man, take in what these guys are telling you

i just graduated in 07 and I'm a totally different dude, **** all the girls u can, and dont care what others think, i mean dont go over the edge and stop taking showers, i mean like always have your chin centered, always think positive, grow as person, go on college tours alot of those chicks get freaky in the hotels, everything ur going isnt new someone else has lived it , some are still living it while others have moved on and grown as a person, regain your confidence go get some coochie and you'll feel much better
Hmm I like that.

anyone else?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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