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Moving in with new GF? How to broach the subject

jnMissouri

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I started dating a girl in a neighboring state recently. I had been preparing to move to this state, so as I was dating locally I thought about maybe finding someone where I want to move anyways. Well I did find a girl there, and we really hit it off.

When I see her she doesn't want me to leave, and I stay at her place. As soon as I leave she asks me when I'm coming back and I can stay as long as I want. So that begs the question...

It would be great if I could move in with her...I don't have to buy a new house there, she already has a nice place. Thing is all the rooms are already taken up, and I'll need some storage for my stuff (storage unit is out of the question due to theft risk). But besides that, how do I broach the subject of moving in with HER?

It would be weird buying a house there and ending up spending all my time at her place anyways. That said she does have young kids, so a place to go for a break might be nice. But alas, having a place to already live without having to buy one will make moving a much easier decision for me. So how do I broach the subject of moving in with HER if I do move?
 

BillyPilgrim

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Broach the subject of moving to her area and wait for her to offer up her place.
 

mrgoodstuff

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I started dating a girl in a neighboring state recently. I had been preparing to move to this state, so as I was dating locally I thought about maybe finding someone where I want to move anyways. Well I did find a girl there, and we really hit it off.

When I see her she doesn't want me to leave, and I stay at her place. As soon as I leave she asks me when I'm coming back and I can stay as long as I want. So that begs the question...

It would be great if I could move in with her...I don't have to buy a new house there, she already has a nice place. Thing is all the rooms are already taken up, and I'll need some storage for my stuff (storage unit is out of the question due to theft risk). But besides that, how do I broach the subject of moving in with HER?

It would be weird buying a house there and ending up spending all my time at her place anyways. That said she does have young kids, so a place to go for a break might be nice. But alas, having a place to already live without having to buy one will make moving a much easier decision for me. So how do I broach the subject of moving in with HER if I do move?
Most would advise never to move in with a woman.
 

Gamisch

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I started dating a girl in a neighboring state recently. I had been preparing to move to this state, so as I was dating locally I thought about maybe finding someone where I want to move anyways. Well I did find a girl there, and we really hit it off.

When I see her she doesn't want me to leave, and I stay at her place. As soon as I leave she asks me when I'm coming back and I can stay as long as I want. So that begs the question...

It would be great if I could move in with her...I don't have to buy a new house there, she already has a nice place. Thing is all the rooms are already taken up, and I'll need some storage for my stuff (storage unit is out of the question due to theft risk). But besides that, how do I broach the subject of moving in with HER?

It would be weird buying a house there and ending up spending all my time at her place anyways. That said she does have young kids, so a place to go for a break might be nice. But alas, having a place to already live without having to buy one will make moving a much easier decision for me. So how do I broach the subject of moving in with HER if I do move?
Be Extremely careful . A woman can change ( literally)overnight , and when you live together you actually accelerate this chance significantly.

She had a kid?? Second dangerous aspect
Once again, be careful, you never know when the baby daddy comes back in the picture. Plus women like this can be real stressful to deal with in a daily base .

If you were a close friend I would advice you 100 percent to get your own place. I dont care of it is next to her, have a safe place to go to!

I don't know if you ever lived with a woman, plus under her roof? How old are you both? How old is the kid? What about the father? How long do you know her?

I did this several times and let me tell you.. when shyt goes wrong you won't have enough time to get your own place. Will be a low point in your life. She'll make the devil look like a sweet angel.

To keep it "SS" ; you'll lose frame. Even if you buy all the groceries ,help with chores ect ,in the back of her mind she knows she has total control over you. She might act like she is down with you, but women can be extremely fickle. Few bad habits from your side and you're out.

Maybe she " is different". Hey, do what you want bro. But I'll repeat ,if you were my close friend I would slap you on your shoulder to ask wtf is wrong with you.

IF you are stubborn and wanna proceed with the plan than you can suggest the following ;you need a place to stay for a short period of time. You pay half the rent and keep her fridge filled up. Help with chores. Befriend the kid. When she gets used to you she might ask you if you wanna stay for longer ect ect.

Huge risk tho..
 

jnMissouri

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Broach the subject of moving to her area and wait for her to offer up her place.
So it came up in conversation, she INITIALLY said you could just buy a place here...I told her the interest rates are too high and I don't want to tie up that much cash paying for a place in full. She understood that. She then said she could just keep me under her bed and let me out to potty and eat. We joke around like that a lot, I'm not sure if she was indirectly talking about the possibility of me moving in with her. Like I said, I practically live there when I am there as I am there for a couple weeks at a time.

She also just said for my next trip not to buy a return ticket right now, just one way....and even for my first trip out there she tried to get me to stay. Either I'm missing hints and she's afraid to tell me she wants me to stay with her or I'm reading things wrong.
 

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jnMissouri

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Be Extremely careful . A woman can change ( literally)overnight , and when you live together you actually accelerate this chance significantly.

She had a kid?? Second dangerous aspect
Once again, be careful, you never know when the baby daddy comes back in the picture. Plus women like this can be real stressful to deal with in a daily base .

If you were a close friend I would advice you 100 percent to get your own place. I dont care of it is next to her, have a safe place to go to!

I don't know if you ever lived with a woman, plus under her roof? How old are you both? How old is the kid? What about the father? How long do you know her?

I did this several times and let me tell you.. when shyt goes wrong you won't have enough time to get your own place. Will be a low point in your life. She'll make the devil look like a sweet angel.

To keep it "SS" ; you'll lose frame. Even if you buy all the groceries ,help with chores ect ,in the back of her mind she knows she has total control over you. She might act like she is down with you, but women can be extremely fickle. Few bad habits from your side and you're out.

Maybe she " is different". Hey, do what you want bro. But I'll repeat ,if you were my close friend I would slap you on your shoulder to ask wtf is wrong with you.

IF you are stubborn and wanna proceed with the plan than you can suggest the following ;you need a place to stay for a short period of time. You pay half the rent and keep her fridge filled up. Help with chores. Befriend the kid. When she gets used to you she might ask you if you wanna stay for longer ect ect.

Huge risk tho..

I hear ya bro. The father is not an issue. If it came to the other stuff you mentioned, I'd get a hotel for a week, then an apartment until I can buy my own house (takes a month or so to close escrow). She has a couple young kids plus some teenagers.
 

HaleyBaron

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The fact youre posting here means you're at least 30 years old. So the wisdom is: jesus no. Stop. End thread.
 

mrgoodstuff

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The fact youre posting here means you're at least 30 years old. So the wisdom is: jesus no. Stop. End thread.
"following" woman normally results in a loss of attraction, and it will be a power differential in her favor that will hurt you. Only a pookie and ray ray whose temporarily staying in there and they don't care about their image, or a modern day gigilo where she is smitten over you and bending over backwards will you be able to survive this.
 

jnMissouri

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"following" woman normally results in a loss of attraction, and it will be a power differential in her favor that will hurt you. Only a pookie and ray ray whose temporarily staying in there and they don't care about their image, or a modern day gigilo where she is smitten over you and bending over backwards will you be able to survive this.
So here's the deal. Experience has taught me relationships don't last. I've even told her nothing lasts forever (which she didn't like). But this is a good way for me to relocate and get my own place later. It's a strategic move, not a long term life decision. I'm moving across the country, it would be nice to have a place to land ahead of time without having to find a place myself. And no, I'm not using her, I legit like this girl. I'm just saying it's an opportunity....
 

Howiestern

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OP- How long have you been dating this girl?

It's always best to never be at a woman's mercy. They make emotional decisions that can and will be detrimental to you mentally and or financially.

Just rent a cheap apartment for 6mo and see what happens.
 

BackInTheGame78

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OP- How long have you been dating this girl?

It's always best to never be at a woman's mercy. They make emotional decisions that can and will be detrimental to you mentally and or financially.

Just rent a cheap apartment for 6mo and see what happens.
He said recently, which in my mind is under 3 months
 
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