switch
Master Don Juan
OP even i can realize that you are getting hooked into trouble, bet you are already thinking about the flowers at your wedding right?
think rationally
think rationally
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Yes that's over a year.SoSuave666 said:You said you're only there for a month or two...so the difference in rent cost for 2 months is 33k? Or are you just extrapolating over the whole year? I knew NYC was expensive, but damn!
You know I would advise you not to do this, but sh!t man your life. She is def BPD.
oh so your agenda is to save money and fvck pu$$y on the side? lol that's geniusbigneil said:Yes that's over a year.
It means I take home $415 per work day versus $290 per day.
She has her issues for sure. She said last night "Lots of men tell me I'm beautiful and I say I know I'm beautiful, tell me something else". She is on some type of antidepressants, and drinks Diet Coke (IMO Aspartame is the single worst thing a person can ingest). But I'll keep you guys posted.
Prophetic.VladPatton said:Does she work at Gallagher's? All Russian over there. And yes, Rusky strippers are linked with the Red Mafia, so be careful. She probably needs papers for US citizenship as well. Do not let her/them pay you off to marry her if it comes up. You'll be a lifer at that point.
bigneil said:Update - Day 1 living with Russian.
6:00pm I inflated my $107 bed from Amazon.
9:00pm She came home from work.
9:15pm I served dinner.
9:22pm She pulls out matching wedding bands and proposes marriage.
9:23pm She realizes the ring won't fit.
9:25pm (My jaw still open) She says she's joking.
12:07am She says she's not joking but if I want to marry her (and be paid $15k) I have until Monday to decide.
Am I a good cook or what?
PS - Monday she is getting married to someone else.
TheLoner deserves credit.
Prophetic.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
I'm going to follow your story, i'm very intrigued. Let us know when this part:bigneil said:No wonder why most of you are single. What a horrible attitude most of you have.
This girl is saving me $125 per night. I'm only here for another month or two (but haven't told her that).
She will save me about $8,000, which is why I hope to keep it platonic. Of course I'm not moving in hoping to start something. I'm moving in to save money.
If I have sex with her, bonus. But to turn down both because she might have BPD? Who cares? I'm still dating a girl 10 years younger than she is back in TX. And most of you complaining are the same ones who have forecasted nothing but the worst throughout our 18 months together.
When a bunch of hot girls like you in a short period of time, the odds are that they all like you for the same reasons. For some of you to pretend there are 10 unique reasons why each of them has fooling me - some for years - is absurd. It's called having an agenda. You sound like Dianne Feinstein.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
"Whatever. You're all talk."bigneil said:So I went home to find her laying in my bed and she said "Take me, I'm yours" but I said "Whatever" and made dinner. "You're all talk" I said. She was talking dirty to me, but I just served grilled ham and cheese on Rye. Later she was snuggling up with me and I put her on my lap and she said "What are you doing? What do you want? You want sex? I'm not ready".
So I said "Ok, time for you to go". "Why, what did I do??" I said that girls who don't have sex with me aren't allowed in my bed. Somehow we ended up kissing but I still booted her, and I went downstairs ahead of her. When we got outside she said "I just wanted to make you wait, that's all" and she grabbed my hand. I told her she was going to blow it if she made me wait much longer, but I spun her around and we had the original twilight romantic kiss. I told her I'd sooner move out than be her friend, and she said she wanted to drive me crazy. It's working.
Ya I agree, that ain't bad.Mike32ct said:"Whatever. You're all talk."
I love that.
Why or how you would want this type of drama in your life is beyond me. You do realize this woman is at the very best a BPD, and at the very worst a complete psycho. So you deciding to move in with her? Tells me you are either a person with nothing going on in your life and who craves drama (would not be surprised if this is the case as your taste for dating strippers illustrates) or also a complete psycho.bigneil said:Day 3: - She got married at noon. Then around 7PM she texted me and asked me where I was (I was at the bar, she was at the apartment). I tried to avoid answering her but she asked again and then called me so I answered. She asked me to have dinner with her. I guess the honeymoon is over for the other guy.
So I went home to find her laying in my bed and she said "Take me, I'm yours" but I said "Whatever" and made dinner. "You're all talk" I said. She was talking dirty to me, but I just served grilled ham and cheese on Rye. Later she was snuggling up with me and I put her on my lap and she said "What are you doing? What do you want? You want sex? I'm not ready".
So I said "Ok, time for you to go". "Why, what did I do??" I said that girls who don't have sex with me aren't allowed in my bed. Somehow we ended up kissing but I still booted her, and I went downstairs ahead of her. When we got outside she said "I just wanted to make you wait, that's all" and she grabbed my hand. I told her she was going to blow it if she made me wait much longer, but I spun her around and we had the original twilight romantic kiss. I told her I'd sooner move out than be her friend, and she said she wanted to drive me crazy. It's working.
Stop talking him out of it :box: , i'm enjoying a very awesome story here :rock:cordoncordon said:Why or how you would want this type of drama in your life is beyond me. You do realize this woman is at the very best a BPD, and at the very worst a complete psycho. So you deciding to move in with her? Tells me you are either a person with nothing going on in your life and who craves drama (would not be surprised if this is the case as your taste for dating strippers illustrates) or also a complete psycho.
Living there sounds like a complete and utter nightmare. Not at all what a together, mature, 40 year old man would want in his life. Do not at all be surprised if someday soon you wake up with her holding a knife over your head. Personally? I would get the fawk out of there and never look back, and I sure as hell would not have sex with her.
You really are piece of work BN.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.