switch
Master Don Juan
OP even i can realize that you are getting hooked into trouble, bet you are already thinking about the flowers at your wedding right?
think rationally
think rationally
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Yes that's over a year.SoSuave666 said:You said you're only there for a month or two...so the difference in rent cost for 2 months is 33k? Or are you just extrapolating over the whole year? I knew NYC was expensive, but damn!
You know I would advise you not to do this, but sh!t man your life. She is def BPD.
oh so your agenda is to save money and fvck pu$$y on the side? lol that's geniusbigneil said:Yes that's over a year.
It means I take home $415 per work day versus $290 per day.
She has her issues for sure. She said last night "Lots of men tell me I'm beautiful and I say I know I'm beautiful, tell me something else". She is on some type of antidepressants, and drinks Diet Coke (IMO Aspartame is the single worst thing a person can ingest). But I'll keep you guys posted.
Prophetic.VladPatton said:Does she work at Gallagher's? All Russian over there. And yes, Rusky strippers are linked with the Red Mafia, so be careful. She probably needs papers for US citizenship as well. Do not let her/them pay you off to marry her if it comes up. You'll be a lifer at that point.
bigneil said:Update - Day 1 living with Russian.
6:00pm I inflated my $107 bed from Amazon.
9:00pm She came home from work.
9:15pm I served dinner.
9:22pm She pulls out matching wedding bands and proposes marriage.
9:23pm She realizes the ring won't fit.
9:25pm (My jaw still open) She says she's joking.
12:07am She says she's not joking but if I want to marry her (and be paid $15k) I have until Monday to decide.
Am I a good cook or what?
PS - Monday she is getting married to someone else.
TheLoner deserves credit.
Prophetic.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
I'm going to follow your story, i'm very intrigued. Let us know when this part:bigneil said:No wonder why most of you are single. What a horrible attitude most of you have.
This girl is saving me $125 per night. I'm only here for another month or two (but haven't told her that).
She will save me about $8,000, which is why I hope to keep it platonic. Of course I'm not moving in hoping to start something. I'm moving in to save money.
If I have sex with her, bonus. But to turn down both because she might have BPD? Who cares? I'm still dating a girl 10 years younger than she is back in TX. And most of you complaining are the same ones who have forecasted nothing but the worst throughout our 18 months together.
When a bunch of hot girls like you in a short period of time, the odds are that they all like you for the same reasons. For some of you to pretend there are 10 unique reasons why each of them has fooling me - some for years - is absurd. It's called having an agenda. You sound like Dianne Feinstein.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
"Whatever. You're all talk."bigneil said:So I went home to find her laying in my bed and she said "Take me, I'm yours" but I said "Whatever" and made dinner. "You're all talk" I said. She was talking dirty to me, but I just served grilled ham and cheese on Rye. Later she was snuggling up with me and I put her on my lap and she said "What are you doing? What do you want? You want sex? I'm not ready".
So I said "Ok, time for you to go". "Why, what did I do??" I said that girls who don't have sex with me aren't allowed in my bed. Somehow we ended up kissing but I still booted her, and I went downstairs ahead of her. When we got outside she said "I just wanted to make you wait, that's all" and she grabbed my hand. I told her she was going to blow it if she made me wait much longer, but I spun her around and we had the original twilight romantic kiss. I told her I'd sooner move out than be her friend, and she said she wanted to drive me crazy. It's working.
Ya I agree, that ain't bad.Mike32ct said:"Whatever. You're all talk."
I love that.
Why or how you would want this type of drama in your life is beyond me. You do realize this woman is at the very best a BPD, and at the very worst a complete psycho. So you deciding to move in with her? Tells me you are either a person with nothing going on in your life and who craves drama (would not be surprised if this is the case as your taste for dating strippers illustrates) or also a complete psycho.bigneil said:Day 3: - She got married at noon. Then around 7PM she texted me and asked me where I was (I was at the bar, she was at the apartment). I tried to avoid answering her but she asked again and then called me so I answered. She asked me to have dinner with her. I guess the honeymoon is over for the other guy.
So I went home to find her laying in my bed and she said "Take me, I'm yours" but I said "Whatever" and made dinner. "You're all talk" I said. She was talking dirty to me, but I just served grilled ham and cheese on Rye. Later she was snuggling up with me and I put her on my lap and she said "What are you doing? What do you want? You want sex? I'm not ready".
So I said "Ok, time for you to go". "Why, what did I do??" I said that girls who don't have sex with me aren't allowed in my bed. Somehow we ended up kissing but I still booted her, and I went downstairs ahead of her. When we got outside she said "I just wanted to make you wait, that's all" and she grabbed my hand. I told her she was going to blow it if she made me wait much longer, but I spun her around and we had the original twilight romantic kiss. I told her I'd sooner move out than be her friend, and she said she wanted to drive me crazy. It's working.
Stop talking him out of it :box: , i'm enjoying a very awesome story here :rock:cordoncordon said:Why or how you would want this type of drama in your life is beyond me. You do realize this woman is at the very best a BPD, and at the very worst a complete psycho. So you deciding to move in with her? Tells me you are either a person with nothing going on in your life and who craves drama (would not be surprised if this is the case as your taste for dating strippers illustrates) or also a complete psycho.
Living there sounds like a complete and utter nightmare. Not at all what a together, mature, 40 year old man would want in his life. Do not at all be surprised if someday soon you wake up with her holding a knife over your head. Personally? I would get the fawk out of there and never look back, and I sure as hell would not have sex with her.
You really are piece of work BN.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.