Most obvious come-on that was missed

[Apone]

This one is kinda pathetic but it may be cathartic to get it out.

Was hanging around a Miami bar with a friend. He brings a female friend from Canada. Hollywood-Level Stunning. I had 0 intention of talking to her because she was getting massive attention already since she lit up the room. I didn't want to be another guy waiting in her line. I'm on the other side of the bar just admiring her and sipping my old fashioned and she walks over and chats me up. We talked for like 15min and she asks for my number. I'm like, sure.

She texts me before she leaves, "Let's go for drinks sometime". I'm like, sure.

I don't follow up. Not sure why. I guess I thought she was out of my league.

It did teach me a valuable lesson. Always follow up and risk a flake or a "no". It's better than the alternative.

 

[SW15]

This guy missed an obvious come on. The hope is that he learns from it.

Seeking Advice After a Night Out Mixed Signals and Missed Opportunities

Hey everyone, I had an interesting experience at a bar night and would love to get your thoughts and advice. Here’s what happened: 1. Initial Interaction: A girl complimented my shoes as she passed by with her two friends (another girl and a guy). We made eye contact, and she...

www.sosuave.net

 

[jhonny9546]

The worse thing is when you receive ioi from a married woman ...
Then, if you don't take, youre a loser, but if you take, you are a rapist..

 

[Masculinity]

Ah man...I will carry this memory until I die, haha. Back in middle school, one of the most attractive girls in my school approached me after class. Dudes in my grade were going wild for her, but only a few had the courage to approach her. She was reserved and very selective. Unfortunately, my ability to speak English was still developing at the time and I did not catch her message. I also had zero game.

The conversation went something like this:

Her: Hi Masculinity, how have you been?
Me: Hi HB9, I have been alright. You?
Her: Good! Do you have a moment to chat?
Me: Sure. What's up?
Her: So, the winter ball is coming up this week. And I was wondering..are you going?
Me: No, I will probably stay home to practice playing the piano.
Her: Oh...ok. I was wondering because it sounds like a lot of fun. *Flirtatious eye contact and big smile.*
Me: I have never been to one of those.
Her: Maybe you should!
Me: Nah, I think I will stay home.
Her: Ah...ok. Well, thanks. Talk to you later.

This cute girl was asking me to be her date for the winter ball and all my a$$ could think about was playing the piano on a Friday night.

She interpreted my response as a rejection and avoided me like the plague thereafter. We live and we learn!

 

[manfrombelow]

She interpreted my response as a rejection and avoided me like the plague thereafter. We live and we learn!

Your words touched my soul, brother, every single one of them.

And "being avoided like the plague" is the perfect analogy to describe how a girl would react towards you when you've "rejected" her (even though not on purpose). I've been there, and it stills stings me to this day.

 

[calatrava]

Buckle up, I have a lot of stories…

First year of college. We usually had lectures until 8:00 PM on Tuesdays and this one 9/10 brunette would ask me to "escort her to her dorm", one night she even asked me in front of her dorm building, "Aren't you even going to say goodbye?" and hugged me. It still stings to this day.

Had a few girls call me at 1 or 2 AM a few times asking random questions and just wanting to talk, I just answered and went back to sleep. Later one of them admitted that she never heard a sexier voice in her life, sadly too late.

Or the situation I posted on the forum recently... a girl approaches me on the bus asking if I could share my hotspot because she needs to send out some Emails or something, and comes back a few minutes later to thank me for sharing her internet because as we all know, women don't have internet 24/7.

Will I ever learn?

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

The worse thing is when you receive ioi from a married woman ...
Then, if you don't take, youre a loser, but if you take, you are a rapist..

Rapist? Bro what

Every man should be willing sleep with married women. It's not his job to protect the sanctity of her marriage. She's already made up her mind to cheat, if not with you, then with someone else. Obviously this doesn't apply if you know her husband, in that case she's off limits. But a stranger? Who fvcking cares?

 

[jhonny9546]

Obviously this doesn't apply if you know her husband

Even worse when the requests come from my social circle.

That said, it seems like the common denominator of the experiences here is that girls see you as gay or lose interest.

I don't think so. If they are truly attracted, they will hold it in and bring it out again at a different time.

 

[GoodMan32]

I have a story.

One time when I was 25, a young woman touched me right above my crotch while calling me sexy.

I totally missed an opportunity there.

Even my autistic self could tell she was obviously into me. So it's not necessarily that I failed to pick up on the come-on. Here's what made me miss the opportunity: With how little attention I get from the opposite sex (and what a hard time I have reading clues), I was in shock at the fact a woman both:

-Was into me
-Was so obvious even I picked up on her interest

Unfortunately, with how in-shock I was, I froze in my tracks. All I did was thank her for the compliment.

Even though my story isn't quite the same as missing a come-on, the story still has the same end result: Squandering an opportunity.

 

[20Humble5050]

Even my autistic self could tell she was obviously into me. So it's not necessarily that I failed to pick up on the come-on. Here's what made me miss the opportunity: With how little attention I get from the opposite sex (and what a hard time I have reading clues), I was in shock at the fact a woman both:

-Was into me
-Was so obvious even I picked up on her interest

I was in the exact same situation with the first girl that called me “babe”, the first girl that pulled me close and rubbed noses with me (?), and the first girl I kissed. The fact that this was all in the same day probably didn’t help. I also certainly could have been faster and used better game with the first two girls to approach me in a daygame setting, but at least I unambiguously asked both of them out over text eventually, and they couldn’t be arsed to commit to a date.

The problem was that I had gone so long without ever getting female attention that I spent all my mental energy on thinking about ways to get a first date and didn’t study any seduction skills past that level. The main skill I lacked and am only just now starting to pick up on is the ability to understand which cues from a girl make the next level of escalation virtually risk-free (as they indicate that she at least respects me enough to brush them off if I have the wrong idea); maybe the next girl that grabbed my arm at a party when I was talking to a friend and hauled me down to the dance floor wasn’t disinterested when we got there, but disappointed that I was just dancing in front of her gormlessly and didn’t strike when the iron was hot. Same with the second girl I kissed at a party; I should have stayed with her and tried for a makeout. In retrospect me leaving these girls after an IOI was partially deliberate as I knew about push-pull tactics, but didn’t know that they are only meant to be used when girls aren’t giving you unambiguous attention; when that happens you want to escalate faster. I did finally put that into practice at the last college party I went to before being suspended from school (not over conduct reasons, and I have since come back), when I went in for a kiss with a girl that seemed happier than most others there to dance next to me; she may have turned her cheek, but as I had correctly surmised, she had enough respect for me that she laughed it off without being seriously creeped out.

The last case was when I was going swimming at the local river and this gorgeous redhead girl joined me on the riverbanks; she let me tease her in a big way. Shortly before she left she said something along the lines of “needing a nice guy” to “take her home”, and the other guys there were saying “Say yes, say yes…” as if to egg me on, but I was resolute in my determination not to be a simp and give girls free taxi rides just because they were cute; although we had been flirtatiously teasing I thought at the time that there would have been some more unambiguous compliments involved if there was any chance of me being invited up with her after we got to her house. I still wonder if my guess was right. I managed to get the girl’s number but she flaked on a date with the second lamest excuse I’ve ever heard - “I have a boyfriend” and “I was tipsy”. Hell, if the one small shot of calvados that I offered her was enough alcohol to completely erase that guy from her memory, I don’t blame her for wanting an upgrade! Unfortunately it was not until long after this happened that I thought of that comeback, otherwise I would have used it and potentially gotten past a **** test.

 

[GoodMan32]

I was in the exact same situation with the first girl that called me “babe”, the first girl that pulled me close and rubbed noses with me (?), and the first girl I kissed. The fact that this was all in the same day probably didn’t help. I also certainly could have been faster and used better game with the first two girls to approach me in a daygame setting, but at least I unambiguously asked both of them out over text eventually, and they couldn’t be arsed to commit to a date.

The problem was that I had gone so long without ever getting female attention that I spent all my mental energy on thinking about ways to get a first date and didn’t study any seduction skills past that level. The main skill I lacked and am only just now starting to pick up on is the ability to understand which cues from a girl make the next level of escalation virtually risk-free (as they indicate that she at least respects me enough to brush them off if I have the wrong idea); maybe the next girl that grabbed my arm at a party when I was talking to a friend and hauled me down to the dance floor wasn’t disinterested when we got there, but disappointed that I was just dancing in front of her gormlessly and didn’t strike when the iron was hot. Same with the second girl I kissed at a party; I should have stayed with her and tried for a makeout. In retrospect me leaving these girls after an IOI was partially deliberate as I knew about push-pull tactics, but didn’t know that they are only meant to be used when girls aren’t giving you unambiguous attention; when that happens you want to escalate faster. I did finally put that into practice at the last college party I went to before being suspended from school (not over conduct reasons, and I have since come back), when I went in for a kiss with a girl that seemed happier than most others there to dance next to me; she may have turned her cheek, but as I had correctly surmised, she had enough respect for me that she laughed it off without being seriously creeped out.

The last case was when I was going swimming at the local river and this gorgeous redhead girl joined me on the riverbanks; she let me tease her in a big way. Shortly before she left she said something along the lines of “needing a nice guy” to “take her home”, and the other guys there were saying “Say yes, say yes…” as if to egg me on, but I was resolute in my determination not to be a simp and give girls free taxi rides just because they were cute; although we had been flirtatiously teasing I thought at the time that there would have been some more unambiguous compliments involved if there was any chance of me being invited up with her after we got to her house. I still wonder if my guess was right. I managed to get the girl’s number but she flaked on a date with the second lamest excuse I’ve ever heard - “I have a boyfriend” and “I was tipsy”. Hell, if the one small shot of calvados that I offered her was enough alcohol to completely erase that guy from her memory, I don’t blame her for wanting an upgrade! Unfortunately it was not until long after this happened that I thought of that comeback, otherwise I would have used it and potentially gotten past a **** test.

Since a majority of my free sex came from Craigslist, I never learned escalation skills (When a woman on Craigslist agrees to meet up after seeing your ad, it's already a given that sex will occur. No escalation skills needed)

 

[CoolWave1331]

I think this was a missed opportunity:

I was at the movie theater once with a friend of mine. Our turn came to use the kiosk to buy the tickets and I told him it was all good, that i'd pay for his ticket. As I was doing this I hear a female voice behind me say 'hey do you want to pay for mine, too?' So I turned to look at her. She appeared to be by herself not sure if she had a friend group or was waiting for someone. Stone faced, I told her 'no i don't think that's going to happen'. She laughed, it was a nervous laugh and she said it was just a joke. I looked at her blankly for a moment, look back at the kiosk, grabbed the tickets and we walked away lol.

I could've handled it better but it was one of those situations where we were in a hurry (movie was about to start) and I simply didn't really want to talk to anyone. Just wanted to get the tickets and food/drinks as fast as possible without any hassle. My friend later brought up the possibility of her being interested- I considered it and then sort of felt bad if that was the case. I've probably been in a lot of these situations without realizing and so have many other men. They always make their moves in a way that doesn't immediately raise suspicion.

 

[jhonny9546]

Your words touched my soul, brother, every single one of them.

And "being avoided like the plague" is the perfect analogy to describe how a girl would react towards you when you've "rejected" her (even though not on purpose). I've been there, and it stills stings me to this day

You live in the past... Surely you've been hurt.

It happened to me too, I understand you.


In my case, there would have been consequences (she already had kids, and at the time we worked together; plus, we had been friends for a long time).
But I don't see it the way you do. Some women, if they truly wanted you, would see you as even more "challenging" and like a prize.
This adds to Desdinova's point theory.