Most obvious come-on that was missed

[BackInTheGame78]

Was in college, had just got back in the dorms after freshman year...went from being the out of shape chunky freshman to an Adonis with 6 months of hard work starting toward the middle of the last freshman semester and over the summer...came back jacked.

The first day back, a got freshman chick on the floor above mine came by to say hi to her friend across the hall, saw me and came in to my room, introduced herself and sat on my lap and told me how she doesn't really know many people here and would love for me to show her around sometime...

I was oblivious to this and said yeah cool but never really made a move...we had a party that weekend and she came done to our room where there were about 20 other people and said she needed to go back to her room real quick to check on something and asked if I wanted to come check out her room decorations...I declined and didn't even realize she was asking me to fvck her senseless...

Needless to say my cluelessness did not get me laid with her...

 

[SW15]

This thread was created just 2.5 weeks after 9/11.

Crazy

Yes. I remember how I felt after 9/11. I was a college freshman that semester.

9/11 was easier to deal with than the Great Recession or the COVID era for me.

I remember being a freshman in my dorm just before 9/11 and wondering some stuff about getting laid and discovering my first pickup articles online.

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

Yes. I remember how I felt after 9/11. I was a college freshman that semester.

9/11 was easier to deal with than the Great Recession or the COVID era for me.

I remember being a freshman in my dorm just before 9/11 and wondering some stuff about getting laid and discovering my first pickup articles online.

I was a freshman in high school. I walked into auto mechanics class and the TV was on with an image of the first tower. The second one hadn't been hit yet.

 

[gabvfx]

Girl tells me she got something in her eye if I could check it out, I get super close to check it out and said "Nop I don't see anything xD" and just kept walking

 

[Willie Naylor]

Walked into a Target to get some clothes hangers. I walked up to a gorgeous blonde who was looking around near the front of the store and asked her if she knew where the clothes hangers were. She looked around the store with me and we flirted a little bit during the convo, then said 'you know what. I think they're on Aisle 10.'

I said 'thanks.' and walked off.

(facepalm)

 

[SW15]

I was a freshman in high school. I walked into auto mechanics class and the TV was on with an image of the first tower. The second one hadn't been hit yet.

I'm glad your high school had an auto mechnaics class. More high schools need Shop type classes like that.

 

[Mike32ct]

A chick approached me at a club in Vegas and asked me to dance. Grinded face to face. We took a break from “dancing” and went to the bar area to have a drink and talk.

HB7: Are you staying at this hotel (casino)?

Mike: Yeah.

HB7: What floor are you on?

Mike: <Drunk and temporarily lost too many IQ points>

Mike: The 15th. Got a great view of the strip. Blah, blah, blah

HB7: <Got bored and walked away>

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

I ignore every time a girl "comes on" to me because I don't care to integrate our lives together. It's extremely unlikely she'll want to just be "sex on demand" which is the only type of thing that fits into my life right now. I've turned down very many very attractive females because I don't care about relationships.

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

A chick approached me at a club in Vegas and asked me to dance. Grinded face to face. We took a break from “dancing” and went to the bar area to have a drink and talk.

HB7: Are you staying at this hotel (casino)?

Mike: Yeah.

HB7: What floor are you on?

Mike: <Drunk and temporarily lost too many IQ points>

Mike: The 15th. Got a great view of the strip. Blah, blah, blah

HB7: <Got bored and walked away>

You're going to fault yourself by not keeping the attention of some drunk girl in Vegas? Like she's some prize or something?

 

[Zontyy]

I had a spanish teacher that I was in class with that I keep failing. I could speak very little spanish like "teacher's name" muy caliente. Anyways we did this spanish trip to go see Don Quixote she sat next to me and rubbed my knee I put my arm around her. One time she gave me detention for her class and while she was grading papers porn accidently popped up on her personal laptop. She didn't close it but made a big deal to put her hands over the screen bending over the desk. I was behind her and started dry humping her doggie style, she giggled and told me to behave. At the end of the year instead of failing me she said I aced my final and it brought my average up to 80% in class when really during the final she invited me to a unversity party nearby. I actually went with the intent to meet her but she was already passed out drunk by the time I arrived so I went home.

Next year I dropped her class and she came down to my study hall and pulled me out and told me in the hall way she wanted me to sign back up to spanish and that she would pad my grade and couldn't stand being a class full of women and want my male presence. I blew her off because **** spanish and I like study hall. I found out later over the summer her long term boyfriend died in IRAQ. This woman was basically looking for a **** so bad from me and I didn't realize it at the time as I was a completely totally clueless kid. Biggest regret of my sexual life.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

A chick approached me at a club in Vegas and asked me to dance. Grinded face to face. We took a break from “dancing” and went to the bar area to have a drink and talk.

HB7: Are you staying at this hotel (casino)?

Mike: Yeah.

HB7: What floor are you on?

Mike: <Drunk and temporarily lost too many IQ points>

Mike: The 15th. Got a great view of the strip. Blah, blah, blah

HB7: <Got bored and walked away>

Highly likely of you would have gotten her in your room, she would have given you her terms...classic Vegas hooker move.

 

[Mike32ct]

Highly likely of you would have gotten her in your room, she would have given you her terms...classic Vegas hooker move.

Understood. I’m definitely aware of this hooker move. Been to Vegas many times.

I think this was a legit chick though. She was traveling with family. In between dancing, she briefly introduced me to her mom who came into the club with her. By age and look, it definitely appeared to be her mom, not a madam or “coworker” lol.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Understood. I’m definitely aware of this hooker move. Been to Vegas many times.

I think this was a legit chick though. She was traveling with family. In between dancing, she briefly introduced me to her mom who came into the club with her. By age and look, it definitely appeared to be her mom, not a madam or “coworker” lol.

Ok, that was probably different then...she was out looking for a fun time most likely

 

[anonymous12345]

I have of course my own slew of disastrous misses of models and what not, and it’s a mourning for me, but it gets better. Not gonna add my epic fails to the 913 so far, heh.

However, what does interest me is why this happens. In my case: when I approach they’re not interested, and when they approach I’m not interested. Wtf.

Many posts here treat the fail like an intellectual mistake, “I didn’t comprehend it,” basically. I’ve rationalised so myself, but I think that at least I’m different. Somewhere, at least subconsciously, we’ve picked things up. In my case it’s more a fear of intimacy, or not being comfortable with being dominated — I haven’t initiated, I’m not in charge. Maybe some girls react the same way, and hence it’s our job to smoothly steer the process.

Another reason is that we’re blissfully ignorant. It’s some mundane situation, we’re not gaming, so we’re indifferent and not at all tuned in for that something may happen. One way to fix this is to be better at more often staying sharp. To think, “Now something might happen.” Tomassi partly touches on this in RM1, The Plan, that a beta trait is to become surprised if a girl say yes to a date or whatever. That the success wasn’t planned for. But I’d say being receptive can go too far: one becomes unnatural, needy, seeking eyes, hesitant.

For a PUA approach we’re active and alert, but if we passively attract using SMV over time (an alpha approach some would say), we can easily “accidentally” seduce a girl. But if we’re not tuned in when she does her move, it would become, well, another post in this thread.

 

[Mike32ct]

There are many reasons why a guy might miss an obvious come on. This list is far from exhaustive:

1. You were tired and/or drunk and not thinking clearly.

2. You couldn’t believe she was hitting on you or propositioning you. Maybe due to lack of self confidence. Or the chick was hotter that you usually get, so it all seemed too good to be true.

3. Ignorance/inexperience. You didn’t know she was hitting on you.

4. Fear of success. You sensed she was possibly hitting on you, but moving forward puts you under pressure to perform socially and even physically/sexually.

5. Fear of failure. What if you’re wrong and you misinterpreted her interest? What if she is genuinely interested and you screw it up?

6. Being caught “off guard.” Your mind might be preoccupied with something else and/or you aren’t in “game mode.” Hooking up was the farthest thing from your mind.

 

[anonymous12345]

Great list. One way is to divide each point into two things:

• The symptom, the unwanted behavior.
• The cause of this, the source.

Your list, @Mike32ct, touches here and there on both things. Here’s another way to structure and add to it:

1. Behavior: too tired. Cause: worn out. Solution: rest before game
2. Behavior: “it was too good to be true.” Cause: low self confidence. Solution: No quick solution for this one
3. Behavior: didn’t know she was hitting. Cause: lack of knowledge. Solution: study and practice game
4. Behavior: avoiding behavior. Cause: can be several: fear of intimacy, low self confidence, fear of failure fear of performance. Solution: no quick solution here either
5. Covered in 4 above.
6. Behavior: being caught off guard. Cause: not in “game mode.” Solution: prepare, plan, consciously identify upcoming “game situations”.

Some of these are relatively simple to fix, others are very hard. Personally, I’ve done all mistakes above, several times — and I’m sick of it.

The hard problems are changing your personality, your self confidence and so forth. Threads touches on this now and again. Therapists probably have good ideas. Here’s my answer: you can’t just change your self confidence with the press of a button, but you can recondition yourself, change the reality, change your behavior, and let the self confidence follow such that it in turn affects your behavior in they way you want.

Same with fear of intimacy. I’d say it’s the same problem as with self confidence, so my answer is the same. Change what you can change, and let your mind adapt to your new reality.

That all sounds good, but I still doubt I’ll address my own very automatic avoidance behaviors, because each time they essentially bypass my intellect.

 

[Jack22]

When I was 19, I was taking a required college course. There was some early 30s mom of two kids that sat next to me. She was hot, and we'd chat before class had started. She showed me some pictures of her kids and her husband, he was working in a trade supporting her and their kids while she was getting her degree. One day she offered to do me in her car. I politely declined. It's not a missed come-on, it's just something that's been bothering me for some time. I know the DJs here will say if if I didn't do it, someone else probably did, which is true. But that's just not who I ever pictured myself becoming. I sometimes have regrets that I didn't take the chance, but I also think back to the picture of the family she showed me and her two beautiful kids. I can't help but pity them. I'm not sure if that makes me a lesser man because of it, but at the time, I didn't want to be the one to knock down that chain of dominoes. I don't know what else I can really say.

 

[manfrombelow]

When I was 19, I was taking a required college course. There was some early 30s mom of two kids that sat next to me. She was hot, and we'd chat before class had started. She showed me some pictures of her kids and her husband, he was working in a trade supporting her and their kids while she was getting her degree. One day she offered to do me in her car. I politely declined. It's not a missed come-on, it's just something that's been bothering me for some time. I know the DJs here will say if if I didn't do it, someone else probably did, which is true. But that's just not who I ever pictured myself becoming. I sometimes have regrets that I didn't take the chance, but I also think back to the picture of the family she showed me and her two beautiful kids. I can't help but pity them. I'm not sure if that makes me a lesser man because of it, but at the time, I didn't want to be the one to knock down that chain of dominoes. I don't know what else I can really say.

10 years from now, come back and tell us what you really honesty think about not doing it that day.

I was like you, young and an idealist, and missed tons of opportunities like the one you told. If I could turn back time, I'd bang them all so hard they'd remember it for the rest of their lives.

 

[manfrombelow]

At around 20, after a night out, I managed to take this girl home. She was my high school class' hottest girl. I didn't remember why but that night my parents were accidentally out of town. I took her home, we ate ice-cream while watching random stuff on Youtube (there was no netflix back then). I took all my courageness to kiss her, she didn't resist but saying something like "Hey you shouldn't do it" and that's all it took to make me hahaha scared and retreat like a coward. More BS chit-chat followed and we went to sleep. Guess what? Me, being the fvcking beta shiny White Knight, offered to sleep under the bed until the next morning. I remember woke up and made her some eggs for breakfast.

After that day, she never replied to my texts again hahahahahahahahaha

 

[Mike32ct]

Here is another example of me being super dense.

Circa 2001.

Met a chick online. 26 yo HB7

MikeCluelessct: Wanna have dinner somewhere?

Chick: I don’t want dinner.

MikeCluelessct: How about a movie?

Chick: I don’t want to see a movie.

MikeCluelessct: How about meet for coffee?

Chick: I don’t want to meet for coffee.

MikeCluelessct: Then what do you want?

Chick: Just come over.

<Showed up at her condo>

<She gives me a tour>

Chick: And this is my bedroom, with a really comfortable bed.

MikeCluelessct: Is that your dog I hear?

Chick: Yeah he’s a Boston Terrier. Let me introduce you. His name is XYZ.

<Sat on the couch, played with the dog and watched tv with her. Never made a move>

<Never heard from her again>