You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
That link doesn't workWanderingMan said:Other than L/M/S, it basically comes down to one thing.
It's been said already in this thread in a round about way: get her to start qualifying herself to you.
Instead of you trying to impress her, get her to start trying to impress you - switch places with her on the pedestal.
Many ways to go about doing this - the tease - the neg - the just not giving a fvck - the not returning her calls or texts - the flaking on her - etc.
It's a shift of attitude. What's in it for you? So what if she's hot? Those chicks are a dime a dozen, what else does she have to offer?
This type of behavior - thought process - will create a you first - win/win mentality - attitude. Which will naturally create attraction when dealing with women.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
What about your brain? I know "good looks" generate an initial attraction, but once you start opening your mouth and talking...teebear said:Good looks seems to matter more than anything else.