Most disappointing online 'date' outcome ever

coyote_astro

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So here's a story that happened to me recently:

I matched with this girl on Hinge that was quite cute, and seemed to be responsive and high interest. Given the recent drop in OLD quality (as I saw some of you were discussing in another thread), I got excited and proposed a date for the coming Saturday, to which she agreed. Saturday afternoon arrives and she messages me saying she needs to reschedule, because she had a health thing with her dad. The weather was bad that day which made suspicious it might have been an excuse, but since she was apologetic and offered to reschedule, I did not get bitter about it. I told her it was cool, (even though she canceled just an hour before the date), and we rescheduled for the next day, Sunday.

Sunday arrives and we are all set for the date, we even confirmed it before I took the bus to get to the date location, a bar downtown. She was gonna drive from the suburbs. To get downtown I needed to change buses. I got on the second bus stop on time and was waiting for the bus to arrive. Some stupid delay happened and, even though the bus was expected to arrive in 2 min at the stop, that route suddenly 'disappeared' and then I had to wait another 25 min for it to actually arrive. (yay US transit system...!) It was ****ed up but the best I could do at that moment was arrive 15 min late for the date. I messaged her apologizing and telling her I would arrive with this delay.

As I was about to finally arrive to the bar (with this 15 min delay), I messaged her again to ask if she had arrived, only to find out she had blocked me in all platforms...! OK, I get it, arriving late for a date is not cool at all, I have actually never done this before. But given that I had a valid excuse and, more importantly, that she canceled on me last minute the day before, I expected some more understanding on her part. Instead she just blocked me and fu*ked off.

Whatever, I was honestly not too bitter about it. Just a bit disappointed because I have never been late for a date in my life, and sh1t happened with the cutest chick I matched on Hinge this year. Also a bit annoyed because I prioritized her over another girl I met in real life the same period, that has kinda gotten cold now.

Anyway, lesson learned..Weird experience overall for sure.
 

BillyPilgrim

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Never "get excited". Build rapport and screen. Regardless of if the bus was late or not, you didn't confirm she was high interest or get her to invest anything before the meet. You would have had to hit it out of the park, or put on an A+ performance just to get anywhere.

Secondly, don't rely on the U.S. bus system on a Sunday. Don't schedule dates on this day. It's also a bad day for dates because a lot of women are in "good girl" mode as it's a church/family oriented day for many and there's overall this kind of vibe on Sundays.
 

coyote_astro

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Secondly, don't rely on the U.S. bus system on a Sunday. Don't schedule dates on this day. It's also a bad day for dates because a lot of women are in "good girl" mode as it's a church/family oriented day for many and there's overall this kind of vibe on Sundays.
About the transit system, I found out the hard way. I should have known better though, as it's not the first time really..
Also Interesting what you say about how Sunday is treated as a 'good girl' day. I admit I had not thought about it this before, but there's some reason to it. As you saw from my story above it is not my usual go to for a date, both in this case but in general as well, but ended up that way after she rescheduled.
 

Canadian_Man

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It's better to give yourself more time than you need to arrive when obvious but semi-infrequent delays could occur (such as public transit issues).

But given that I had a valid excuse and, more importantly, that she canceled on me last minute the day before, I expected some more understanding on her part
Women don't often work in this kind of logical fashion.

Just because you gave her grace for a circumstance, doesn't mean she's likely to give you the same grace.


Edit:
However, she probably did you a favour in the long run, because it wasn't very kind of her to behave that way
 
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BaronOfHair

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Also a bit annoyed because I prioritized her over another girl I met in real life the same period...
Fatal error. Those difficulties with transportation and her canceling on you are all small potatoes, by comparison. That so many folks continue to engage heavily in online dating, despite the fact that it was already a running joke back in The 2000s, is astounding
 

coyote_astro

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It's better to give yourself more time than you need to arrive when obvious but semi-infrequent delays could occur (such as public transit issues).


Women don't often work in this kind of logical fashion.

Just because you gave her grace for a circumstance, doesn't mean she's likely to give you the same grace.


Edit:
However, she probably did you a favour in the long run, because it wasn't very kind of her to behave that way
Totally agree.
Wrt your last point, I was thinking the same thing. As annoying this might have been, it maybe revealed something about her true character and I dodged a bullet.
 

coyote_astro

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Fatal error. Those difficulties with transportation and her canceling on you are all small potatoes, by comparison. That so many folks continue to engage heavily in online dating, despite the fact that it was already a running joke back in The 2000s, is astounding
See, I definitely prefer real life interactions over online, but it seemed like an easy solution. She was eager to meet soon so I said 'why not?'

The other girl seems more cool and I met her in person through social circle. We talked a bit on Instagram but nothing had happened.
As a side note, my priority now is to re-engage with her. But we haven't talked for 10 days. Still possible but it has gotten kinda cold now..
 

coyote_astro

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No one has pointed this out, but she probably figured out you have no car as I’m sure you told her as a result of explaining yourself. This was most likely the death knell.
Ah right, this actually crossed my mind as well.
Could be, who knows. Just to give you some context, I can easily get a car anytime if I want to, I just haven't done so because I have not found it necessary so far (moved to this city a few months ago). She knew that I am quite accomplished in my career, so not a stereotypical loser that lives with his mother and cannot afford one etc etc. I also told her I was getting on the bus when we confirmed the date. Having said all that, I can see how not having a car might have acted as a turn off to her after I failed to arrive on time.
 

coyote_astro

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Now that I complained about my annoying online date experience on the other thread, time to focus on something more productive:

Long story short, I met this girl at an Easter house gathering. She seemed to be interested in knowing me and positioned herself in my vicinity. It was kinda obvious. I talked to her and she seemed friendly. I asked for her Instagram before we left, so that we stay in touch. Even since that moment (about a month ago), I've tried to stay in touch by interacting with some of her stories, teasing her etc. She was responsive and we have chatted a bit, also occasionally likes some of my stories. She was the first to like one of mine actually. But we never made plans to meet. Mostly because right after I had to travel abroad for two and half weeks and could not meet her right away. As a result, things have gotten cold a bit, which is no surprise. Besides the occasional chat and IG interaction here and there in the meantime.

Now that I am back in town I want to try to re-engage and take a shot at her, as she seemed cool. But I think that if I just cold message her asking her out it will not work, as it will be too direct and forward.
Looking for the best way to go about it. I feel I need to more smoothly get to it. One thing I though of is to wait for her to post some story from a bar and somehow respond and bring up going for drinks or something. Though she does not post that often. Maybe once a week on average. Not that much to work with.
Any other good suggestions for how to best good about it? Thanks!
 

BaronOfHair

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I asked for her Instagram before we left, so that we stay in touch
Is her Instagram page filled with photos like this



Despite the fact that she's NOT a professional glamour model? If so, turn back around, before driving straight into this sink hole
 

Rainrain

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Is her Instagram page filled with photos like this



Despite the fact that she's NOT a professional glamour model? If so, turn back around, before driving straight into this sink hole
What if her instagram doesn’t look like that?
 

Pierce Manhammer

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Merged threads, OP:

please do not create multiple threads on the same subject.
 

coyote_astro

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Be so kind as to provide a link. Not being flip or lascivious here... The image she projects to the rest of the world is vital
Her account is private, you wouldn't be able to see anything. Plus I don't wanna share her profile in a forum for privacy reasons. But I am telling you she's just a normal girl, not everyone is an Only Fans attention seeker.
 

BaronOfHair

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But I am telling you she's just a normal girl...
Then send her a message on Instagram or whichever means you have for communicating, and invite her to meet you for coffee, frozen yogurt, to the pool(I.E. Something cheap or free, for this first encounter)etc, etc. Don't frame it as a question either. Write something to the effect of:

"Yo. I'm going to (Insert location)at (Insert date). Join me"
 

crowolf

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Well, that’s quite odd.

It seems like she either wasn’t planning on coming on Sunday anyways, or is mentally unstable or something like that. Why wouldn’t she wait 15 min. anyways?

Regardless, If I were you, I wouldn’t spend an ounce of energy about her anymore. To each his own.
 
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