"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Most annoying sayings/verbal cliches?

The Bat

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logic1 said:
"If it was meant to be........................................"
Such a fvcking copout.

"My dog died."
"It was meant to be."
"Thank you, Oracle! What else is meant to be?"

My personal favorite:

"I don't mean to be/sound _______, but..."

For example, "I don't mean to be offensive, but you're really fat." Oh gee, thanks for putting that little disclaimer at the begining because now I know that you're really a saint inside and could never be judgemental.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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KarmaSutra

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WesCottII said:
"like"

It's like, near the supermarket.

Like near? it either IS or it ISN'T.
This has got to be the worst word in our language. I absolutely loathe anyone who prefaces every other word with: "like".

I fvcking hate it with a passion.
 

penkitten

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ring ring ring
penkitten "hello xxx apartments"
unknown resident caller "whatcha doin'?"

penkitten "WORKING!!"

why call me at the office to ask what i am doing?
just state who you are and what you want/need so i can reply with an answer and get back to all the other work i have!
 

WhitePimp

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What happens in _____, stays in _____

People substitute any bullsh!t city in that phrase nowadays
 

woods

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Michele said:
"i know, right?"

"what the *fuck* is up?!" ...is that even necessary?

stupid females calling their friends bitches, sluts and whores just because they can when no one else can... and smile it off as if they're cute. (girls like this are embarrassing to even know. makes you /facepalm when you hear them say that.)

leet speak is fun... and hot when a girl understands and sarcastically jokes around with it.
Why isnt that censored? Can we say ****, now, like big boys?

Anyways, we should all kick ourselves for forgetting this one:

"Oh he's just a friend"
I was that "friend" last week! it was nice and tight!

Oh, I get it, he added color on the first letter of the bad words.
let me try... fuck Ok, that was bold on the first letter.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Faded Image

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More

"Everything happens for a reason."

"It's always two sides to one story."

"What's done in the dark, will come to the light."

"What goes around comes around."

"Big people need loving too."
 

Ken785

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Here guys, I have a few annoying ones...

"Real estate is the way to go...buying a home is the best investment"... FVCK YOU.

"It takes money to make money"... BLOW ME.

"See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya"...Wanna see my fist in your face?

"Svcks to be you"... SVCK ON THIS!!..FVCKER!!
 

Purple-Haze

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BFFs for life!!!

This annoys me a great deal. The people who profess this BS are precisely the ones that go around spewing lies about their supposed "BF".

I hate labels like that. You are just setting yourself up for a fall!
 

2.0

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"Moving swiftly along."

If you need to say that, you're not moving swiftly along. That little transition phrase contradicts itself because it makes the transition jumpy. Just say "Moving along" you bastards.
 

Flyer

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Thank you for your interest in xxx.

After careful consideration, we regret to inform you that other applicants more closely match our requirements and you have not been selected for the next round of the recruitment process.

We thank you again for your interest and wish you every success in your future career.
hate.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Purple-Haze

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What's that supposed to mean?

You know precisely what that means!! I just spent a good portion of this discussion explaining it to you, you emotionally stunted bastard!
 

lordson

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when people make the joke:

i hate it when people say "Can I ask you something?"

Well you didn't give me much choice there!"
drives me nuts. it was funny ONCE. not after everybody's heard it a hundred times
 

Rebound Material

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Faded Image said:
More

"Everything happens for a reason."

"It's always two sides to one story."

"What's done in the dark, will come to the light."

"What goes around comes around."

"Big people need loving too."
HEY! I actually like 1,2 and 4....the last one is hilarious! hahaha
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Ingeniarius

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"It's in the Bible that ...."
"God doesn't want you to ..."
"You should show more respect towards..."
"They are your parents"
"I would never marry a .... [insert any minority here]"
"America is Number 1" (This one is for the "faith over facts crowd" as seen in Bill Maher's show)
"We need to get drug dealers off the streets" (instead of making them take other opportunities so that they will quit selling drugs and cost us money by being in prison)
".... or something" (can't make up your mind?)

Maybe more later.
 

The Bat

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Faded Image said:
"Big people need loving too."
Yeah but they got to pay.
 

Kaim Argonar

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****ing every single one of them. Get ****ing hit with a baseball bat with rusted nails on it if you're going to try to be an annoying smarmy douche with your inane catchphrases and your conceit. Stick your condescending attitude down your *******.
 

ketostix

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"Let's just be friends." and "Is that a line?" (which ironicaly is a line).
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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