Morning after hookup feels

BJP1991

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 11, 2018
Messages
141
Reaction score
43
Age
27
Hey Everbody,

Just had a girl spend the night for the first time (was our third time seeing one another), . Made dinner, watched a movie and we had sex a couple times and I gave her an O from head this morning. Had cup of coffee in bed together and she left around 9am.

Anyone ever get this weird feeling, almost down-like, after a night of sex with a girl you’re into (more than just casual)? It’s almost as if I just want more of the same, and now that it’s gone I feel almost doubtful and wondering if/when I’ll see her again. As she left, she was talking about me seeing something at her apartment sometime, and I just told her to “call me sometime”. Regardless of if she does or doesn’t, I’ll shoot her a text in 3-4 days or so to try to line up another date.

At first, there was a little performance anxiety, and I couldn’t stay too hard, eventually she went down on me and then it wasn’t an issue after that. Do people get this with girls on the first hookup? I hadn’t fapped or watched porn for nearly a week either, knowing ahead of time it was likely we would have sex.

Meanwhile, tonight, I have a date lined up with a girl who has made it clear she only wants casual, so that’s on the horizon.

But what would this be? Afterglow? I’ve experienced it before and it always feels stronger with a girl who I’m more into than those that are purely one night stand or more casual. Usually fades by evening or so, but has anyone experienced it before?

Bottom line is, I got laid, made sure she got off too. All in all I should be happy about it all, but I almost feel a little down on myself and I have absolutely no clue why.
 

BJP1991

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 11, 2018
Messages
141
Reaction score
43
Age
27
It's not uncommon. After the "high" sometimes comes the "crash."

Lack of sleep and plus hangover (if applicable) can greatly magnify this post-hookup "letdown/depression" effect.

Get some sleep. Then brag to your buddy after (or post a LR lol). You'll feel much better.
Definitely feeling what you’d call a crash. We just had one bottle of wine, so it’s not a hangover. Honestly, (and I know I’m going against DJ bible saying it), but I want to see her again and just keep making out and fooling around and spending time together.

Whenever I really click with a girl on a deeper level, I’ve felt this before. Just always forget about it until it’s happening.
 

soulforge

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 1, 2013
Messages
2,639
Reaction score
1,456
Hey Everbody,

Just had a girl spend the night, we had sex a couple times and I gave her an O from head this morning. Had a short breakfast and a cup of coffee and she left.

Anyone ever get this weird feeling, almost down-like, after a night of sex with a girl you’re into? It’s almosr as if I just want more of the same, and now that it’s gone I feel almost doubtful and wondering if/when I’ll see her again.

Meanwhile, tonight, I have a date lined up with a girl who has made it clear she only wants casual, so that’s on the horizon.

But what would this be? Afterglow? I’ve experienced it before and it always feels stronger with a girl who I’m more into than those that are purely one night stand or more casual.

Bottom line is, I got laid, made sure she got off too. All in all I should be happy about it all, but I almost feel a little down on myself and I have absolutely no clue why.
I know how it feels.. You are probably at a point in you're life where you are wanting something more than just a one night fling.

I am feeling the same way, after banging the hell out of random chicks..

Feel a little deflated the following day.
 

BJP1991

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 11, 2018
Messages
141
Reaction score
43
Age
27
I know how it feels.. You are probably at a point in you're life where you are wanting something more than just a one night fling.

I am feeling the same way, after banging the hell out of random chicks..

Feel a little deflated the following day.
Pretty much sums it up for me entirely. I also may not see her for like 10 days too (I have a work trip all week starting Monday - Sunday, then she leaves the following week on Thursday. So I’ll probably try to line up a date in that frame between my work trip and hers
 

How This "Nice Guy" Steals Women from Jerks

Did you know a woman can be totally UN-ATTRACTED to you...

And she'll still sleep with you?

If you've ever seen a girl go home with some asshole she didn't even LIKE, you know this is true.

But how is this possible?

Because deep inside her brain, sexual desire has nothing to do with what you LOOK like...

And everything to do with how you make her FEEL.

Matt Cook knows this all too well.

Matt is a nice guy... but he steals women from JERKS all the time.

In this free video training below, he'll show you how he does it:

How to Control Her Emotions and Make Her Chase You

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
5,560
Reaction score
1,233
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
But in all seriousness, yes, I know exactly what you are saying. Sometimes you really do "click" with someone and have a connection that is much deeper than just sex. And it hurts to see her leave after.

If you can set up another date with her, by all means do so. If you can't, at least you tried.
 

backseatjuan

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2011
Messages
3,137
Reaction score
673
Age
38
Location
Россия
Gay. Realize it’s not your brain doing the thinking. Literally. Your feeling is from spinal coretex.

Lack of sex in your life.

Sexing then wanting ro wife leads to heartbreak. Be careful pssywhisperer. Fck vagina, don’t fall in love with vagina.

She has to pursue you, not the other way around.

Fck, capt wounded heart.
 

flowtheory

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 18, 2018
Messages
1,207
Reaction score
741
Age
30
Location
So Cal
Sounds like you like her quite a bit already. Careful. You were in your head during sex because of pressure. However that pressure came from you wanting to impress and that came because you have feelings for her already.
I know what it’s like.

Spin some other plates and keep her around. Take her off the pedastal because it sounds like you’re raising her up there a bit. Get your mind right, before you really develop some feelings. Otherwise you’ll have to rewire some things down the road and that can interfere with her attraction and add some confusion; if it gets to that point.
 

Medina

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 23, 2019
Messages
81
Reaction score
106
Age
30
There must be a Darwinian reason

Perhaps to encourage emotional-attachment after you've supposedly planted your seed

It has better chance of survival with you in the picture, as does future offspring
 

sazc

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 23, 2016
Messages
4,171
Reaction score
3,115
I think it's sweet you are into her, just remember, no one likes to be smothered. At this point you don't know if she's a heroin addict or kicks puppies for sport.

Take it slowly, go on dates, get to know her. If you find yourself developing oneitus quickly, remind yourself the honeymoon period takes 3-6 months. You won't know who she really is for that long.

Enjoy with emotional restraint
 

BJP1991

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 11, 2018
Messages
141
Reaction score
43
Age
27
There must be a Darwinian reason

Perhaps to encourage emotional-attachment after you've supposedly planted your seed

It has better chance of survival with you in the picture, as does future offspring
Commonly referred to as the “Chaser Effect”, if I am not mistaken
 

Murkserious

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 17, 2017
Messages
2,014
Reaction score
1,165
Nope, I feel happy when they leave and I can take a massive sh1t, shower, crack on with the day or mostly likely have a wank.

Just got rid of one today actually, banged in the morning, reheated last nights drunken Burger King, made us both a coffee and she then ubered to her car.


I now have my friend here, we dabbed some molly, polishing off a bottle of rye JD 45% and about to hit up a deep house music rave
 

logicallefty

Moderator
Joined
Apr 26, 2006
Messages
4,502
Reaction score
2,747
Location
Hole in the Ground, Illinois, USA
Op, I know exactly how you feel I get this too after A good rumble with a woman for the first time. The feeling may come from the fact that deep inside we don’t know if we are going to get to sleep with this particular woman again. We enjoyed it. So we want to. But in this day and age no matter how good it was it could be the very last time. She can flake at any time. But you did the best you could and as far as ensuring that there would be a second time. You gave her an O. That’s the best you can do to try to get yourself a second lay. If there never is one, it was no wrongdoing of yours.
 

BJP1991

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 11, 2018
Messages
141
Reaction score
43
Age
27
Great feedback, everyone. Good to know it’s not just me who has been there.

Feeling better about it already (~930pm same night). Some girls just get to ya more than others I guess, but I’m a liar if I didn’t want to see her again when it works for our schedules with the aforementioned vacations back to back.

I will continue to spin plates and re-read passages from the Bible in the meantime
 

soulforge

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 1, 2013
Messages
2,639
Reaction score
1,456
Op, I know exactly how you feel I get this too after A good rumble with a woman for the first time. The feeling may come from the fact that deep inside we don’t know if we are going to get to sleep with this particular woman again. We enjoyed it. So we want to. But in this day and age no matter how good it was it could be the very last time. She can flake at any time. But you did the best you could and as far as ensuring that there would be a second time. You gave her an O. That’s the best you can do to try to get yourself a second lay. If there never is one, it was no wrongdoing of yours.

Even if you do get the second lay, more than likely you will want a third then fourth, fifth, sixth etc.

Next thing you know, you have developed oneitis.

I say its better to figure out what type of character she is EARLY ON.. If the girl is of low character or values.. Then it is only for the BEST that you only got one or two lays out of her.

Your better of moving onto a better quality woman.
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

BJP1991

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 11, 2018
Messages
141
Reaction score
43
Age
27
Even if you do get the second lay, more than likely you will want a third then fourth, fifth, sixth etc.

Next thing you know, you have developed oneitis.

I say its better to figure out what type of character she is EARLY ON.. If the girl is of low character or values.. Then it is only for the BEST that you only got one or two lays out of her.

Your better of moving onto a better quality woman.

I do agree - and that is something I have been gauging with her early on, along with trying to realistically assess her level of interest, instead of projecting my interest onto her (meaning, preventing myself from being misled by my own level of interest). While she was over the other night, she was occasionally tossing compliments at me like “you have pretty eyes” or “you have a hot bod”, to which I would sometimes reciprocate the same compliments to her, but never gave any organic compliments to her yet to avoid giving too much validation. Perhaps my time with her alone and the brief mentioning that we should get together between our trips was too much validation...

That being said, yesterday she messaged me like an hour or two after she left, sending me a photo of something she did that morning, to which I replied with a short text and she sent one additional, but that was it. Even though she didn’t flat out text me that she “had a good time” or whatever, I feel like she wouldn’t send anything at all if she had lower interest in me (probably means nothing at all, actually). She also said it in person in the morning and thanked me for making dinner.

How would you recommend avoiding early-onset oneitis? This is something I have encountered before with women who I feel a little deeper connection with.

Also, there’s a chance I may not see her for basically two weeks, unless we can line up a date for the 3 day window between our vacations next week. So not entirely sure how to proceed there just yet
 
Last edited:

flowtheory

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 18, 2018
Messages
1,207
Reaction score
741
Age
30
Location
So Cal
I do agree - and that is something I have been gauging with her early on, along with trying to realistically assess her level of interest, instead of projecting my interest onto her (meaning, preventing myself from being misled by my own level of interest). While she was over the other night, she was occasionally tossing compliments at me like “you have pretty eyes” or “you have a hot bod”, to which I would sometimes reciprocate the same compliments to her, but never gave any organic compliments to her yet to avoid giving too much validation. Perhaps my time with her alone and the brief mentioning that we should get together between our trips was too much validation...

That being said, yesterday she messaged me like an hour or two after she left, sending me a photo of something she did that morning, to which I replied with a short text and she sent one additional, but that was it. Even though she didn’t flat out text me that she “had a good time” or whatever, I feel like she wouldn’t send anything at all if she had lower interest in me (probably means nothing at all, actually). She also said it in person in the morning and thanked me for making dinner.

How would you recommend avoiding early-onset oneitis? This is something I have encountered before with women who I feel a little deeper connection with.

Also, there’s a chance I may not see her for basically two weeks, unless we can line up a date for the 3 day window between our vacations next week. So not entirely sure how to proceed there just yet
The only reason why women message a man first is to show they’re interested. They want to feel your presence again. This is why it’s important the man isn’t the one starting the text convos or calling her. The woman needs to chase you and then you simply respond with a plan of action to see her again.
 

BJP1991

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 11, 2018
Messages
141
Reaction score
43
Age
27
The only reason why women message a man first is to show they’re interested. They want to feel your presence again. This is why it’s important the man isn’t the one starting the text convos or calling her. The woman needs to chase you and then you simply respond with a plan of action to see her again.
Figured, makes simple enough sense. However trying to make plans for the next date only an hour or two after she left in the morning seems over the top-needy after only our third time seeing one another.

Thinking about sending something Tuesday or Wednesday this week, but unsure if I should just include the proposal for another date in the initial text or if it should be something general for the initiation (i.e. “Hey, good afternoon, how was the rest of your weekend?”). Typically, I feel like the latter is unnecessary and it is better to get to the point, but what do you think?
 

flowtheory

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 18, 2018
Messages
1,207
Reaction score
741
Age
30
Location
So Cal
Figured, makes simple enough sense. However trying to make plans for the next date only an hour or two after she left in the morning seems over the top-needy after only our third time seeing one another.

Thinking about sending something Tuesday or Wednesday this week, but unsure if I should just include the proposal for another date in the initial text or if it should be something general for the initiation (i.e. “Hey, good afternoon, how was the rest of your weekend?”). Typically, I feel like the latter is unnecessary and it is better to get to the point, but what do you think?
If she messages you an hour or two after the hangout, just respond in kind and then let it go. If she wants to get in to menial chat, don’t. Just navigate the texts towards another hangout. Keep the mystery.

It’s not really needy to set up another date. It’s assertive. Neediness comes through in HOW you say and ask. Neediness is NEEDING their validation and attention to feel okay about yourself. Not by acting itself. Because in reality she could have sent you a photo, then you could have messaged “cool pic. Was going to head to this art gallery on Thursday at 7. Want to join me if you’re free?”

With your question, don’t beat around the bush. Ask what you want to ask. Go for what you want. Take the lead. You’re not there to text and have a text pal. That’s what most guys do.
You could say “Hey, hope the rest of your weekend was good. Was thinking it would be fun to meet up for a drink this Thursday at 7 if you’re free; I know a new lounge that just opened”
 

BJP1991

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 11, 2018
Messages
141
Reaction score
43
Age
27
With your question, don’t beat around the bush. Ask what you want to ask. Go for what you want. Take the lead. You’re not there to text and have a text pal. That’s what most guys do.
You could say “Hey, hope the rest of your weekend was good. Was thinking it would be fun to meet up for a drink this Thursday at 7 if you’re free; I know a new lounge that just opened”
Thinking this or just do what AMS does and make a statement (I.e. Hey, good morning - just hoping you have a productive day ahead) and then build up to asking upon her reply. However I do prefer being direct and asking the girl for her availability, rather than trying to pin down a specific day right away or making a generic statement like AMS, to which they could just reply something short and dumb like “thanks, you too!”..

In this case, per my earlier post, there is only a 2 day window where something could get lined up, otherwise it would be 2.5 weeks minimum between our dates with us having vacations lined up
 
Top