"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Morals (attn: Maverick)

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Mavrick

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MacAvoy said:
You have no idea how funny this is. Its completely true in this case as well.
Hahahah... [waits one second] ... No, it's not. To each his own, and I have learned my mother focking lesson.
 

comic_relief

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Has anyone ever read Nietzsche's actual work like "the anti-chist" or "beyond good and evil" or "ecce homo"?

They are great philosophical reads but one of his main sticking point is the "reevaluation of values."

This means look at the values that you have to see if they are actually good because most of the values are really quite weak.

One value/time honored tradition is the idea of crying a persons funeral. Is it good to remember them? Yes, but you should do it in a way that the person would have liked. I have been kicked out of many different funerals because I tell funny stories of the deceased and had people rolling on the ground laughing. It's rude to cry at a persons funeral.

Another value that I absolutely hate is the notion of "Do not question the authority figures." It keeps the majority down and does not allow for growth. If you do not question, you will never grow. I once heard a quote, "A patriot is not one that will not question, but one that continually questions."

I could go on and on about morals, but the two things that morality comes from is the either religion or culture. Both are so incredibly mixed (Judeo-Christian beliefs) that it is almost one in the same. This is why we must question our own morals and reevaluate them.

In response to the question, I believe that no matter what we need morals and cannot live without them. But we must find out which ones we need and do away with the harmful ones that are holding us back. I am still in the process of doing so.

comic_relief
 

Donsing

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To me, morals = good and bad; good = what I like, value, principles, and want to happen to me; bad = what I don't like, value, principles, and want to happen to me. That's it, but our habit is to enforce or try to press our guidelines (morals) upon other, therefore, conflict occurs between individuals. Have fun, guys. :D
 

DoctorLW

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To each their own.

But having strong morals, and sticking by them, is the road less traveled for sure. I enjoy the challenge of doing the right thing... most of the time it's a lot easier to do the wrong thing.

In the short run, avoiding good moral decisions might lead you to better life positioning... but in the long run people remember those who gave their word and delivered on it and you will end up better off for it.

To clarify, since there are a lot of differences in actions someone considers moral or immoral, I would simplify it as: treat others with the respect that you expect them to show you (even if they don't).
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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ChrizZ

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Morals are just society programming.

Morals ensure the survival of the human species and control the masses.
 

Quiksilver

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Without morals, society could not function, even on the most basic and primitive level.

How can you trust somebody who has no morals? Someone who has no compunctions against doing anything, at any time. I could not live around someone who would stab me in the back in my sleep because I stole his ice cream from the freezer the night before.

I could not have a friend who would start hitting on my girlfriend in front of me, simply because he thinks she's hot.

If nobody had a moral code, who could you trust?

(spare me the 'trust yourself' argument)

Here is a simple example of why morality is good, from a google search:

The phenomenon of 'reciprocity' in nature is seen by evolutionary biologists as one way to begin to understand human morality. Its function is typically to ensure a reliable supply of essential resources, especially for animals living in a habitat where food quantity or quality fluctuates unpredictably. For example, on any given night for vampire bats, some individuals fail to feed on prey while others consume a surplus of blood. Bats that have successfully fed then regurgitate part of their blood meal to save a conspecific from starvation. Since these animals live in close-knit groups over many years, an individual can count on other group members to return the favor on nights when it goes hungry
 

MacAvoy

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Quiksilver said:
How can you trust somebody who has no morals? Someone who has no compunctions against doing anything, at any time. I could not live around someone who would stab me in the back in my sleep because I stole his ice cream from the freezer the night before.
My question to you is how can you trust people with morals? As brother DonGorgon said:

DonGorgon said:
Another word for morals is hypocrisy
The very guy who I started this debate with PM'd me and told me he made a new identity because he has grown as a man and his original identity no longer applies. What is most interesting though is he goes on about how the husband might shoot you for banging his wife and that I need morals but only a couple of weeks ago he was getting BJ's from an attached women.

So tell me, how I can trust people that have morals? When the people that are going out preaching their morals are the ones most often breaking them when no one is looking. Its been seen so many times over and over again.
 

Mavrick

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I can't get bjs from women who aren't married? She has made no vows to her bf. She chose to do that, and I didn't make her. As for married women, they are off limits for me. You do what you want.

I have not deceived you in any way.
 

Purple-Haze

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Mavrick said:
I can't get bjs from women who aren't married? She has made no vows to her bf. She chose to do that, and I didn't make her. As for married women, they are off limits for me. You do what you want.

I have not deceived you in any way.
How is a married woman any different than a woman in an LTR as far as cheating goes? How do you reason that?

Both are lying to their partners by engaging in sexual relations with a 3rd party - and that party is a co-conspirator by virtue of doing the deed.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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sosilky

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$

no morals needed do whatever it takes break every law, break all ten comandments. we all should, i mean total global anarchy could be a good quality of life. the planet wouldn't blow up in less then a week or anything.
 

Mavrick

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Purple-Haze said:
How is a married woman any different than a woman in an LTR as far as cheating goes? How do you reason that?

Both are lying to their partners by engaging in sexual relations with a 3rd party - and that party is a co-conspirator by virtue of doing the deed.
She's not married, and she's free to do as she pleases. If she deceives him, that's on her. If this is the way you look at, then I'm immoral.
 

MacAvoy

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Mavrick said:
Purple-Haze said:
How is a married woman any different than a woman in an LTR as far as cheating goes? How do you reason that?

She's not married, and she's free to do as she pleases. If she deceives him, that's on her. If this is the way you look at, then I'm immoral.
Does anybody else besides me not find this totally hypocritical and hilarious?

IMO a man with such high morals wouldn't be doing either. Or does morals mean bending them when convenient? If so then I'm very moral.
 

Purple-Haze

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Mavrick said:
She's not married, and she's free to do as she pleases. If she deceives him, that's on her. If this is the way you look at, then I'm immoral.
At the root of a marriage AND LTR is the notion of commitment - in both cases, the couples in question have taken an explicit vow (in one form or another) to be monogamous. By engaging in some kind of sexual exchange with an involved woman, you are helping her cheat (YOU are actively engaging in immoral behaviour - based on your definiton of immorality).

So what do you do if you meet a woman who is in a common law marriage? How do you deal with that?

I don't know about morality, but you are definitely a hypocrite.
 

Mavrick

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Well, we're not doing anything now, and I'm not doing anything with anyone else although I could. The last to girls I've been out with I've told that I didn't want to even have sex yet. So, anyway, I'm saying don't mess with married women. That's my morals. I didn't say messing with single women is immoral, so that doesn't make me a hypocrite.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Purple-Haze

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Mavrick said:
Well, we're not doing anything now, and I'm not doing anything with anyone else although I could. The last to girls I've been out with I've told that I didn't want to even have sex yet. So, anyway, I'm saying don't mess with married women. That's my morals. I didn't say messing with single women is immoral, so that doesn't make me a hypocrite.
I haven't read the entire thread, so I may be missing something. I am not concerned with the specifics of your story or issue. What I find laughable is that you consider yourself "moral" and yet use it to suit your convenience.

You "morals" are this: DON'T mess with married women, but single women in LTRs (or monogamous, committed relationships for that matter) are fair game if they want to cheat.

Jeez dude. Do you want an explicit definition of "hypocrite"?

It's fine if you want to do girls who have bfs. That's your choice. But don't go around touting yourself as being moral just b/c you wouldn't sleep with a married woman when you will sleep with a girl with a bf.

This isn't even about morality anymore. Your line of reasoning is ripe with hypocrisy.
 

Mavrick

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Purple-Haze said:
I haven't read the entire thread, so I may be missing something. I am not concerned with the specifics of your story or issue. What I find laughable is that you consider yourself "moral" and yet use it to suit your convenience.

You "morals" are this: DON'T mess with married women, but single women in LTRs (or monogamous, committed relationships for that matter) are fair game if they want to cheat.

Jeez dude. Do you want an explicit definition of "hypocrite"?

It's fine if you want to do girls who have bfs. That's your choice. But don't go around touting yourself as being moral just b/c you wouldn't sleep with a married woman when you will sleep with a girl with a bf.

This isn't even about morality anymore. Your line of reasoning is ripe with hypocrisy.
Yes, a hypocrite is someone that does something they said themselves not to do. Did I mess with a married woman? No. Therefore, I'm not a hypocrite.

My morals are just different from yours. That does not make me a hypocrite. I believe that a woman in an LTR is fair game if she's willing to move forward with you (which I thought was going to happen). She deceived me into believing that she was dumping him for me (they were already on the break). When she did not make that break, I moved on.
 

Purple-Haze

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Mavrick said:
Yes, a hypocrite is someone that does something they said themselves not to do. Did I mess with a married woman? No. Therefore, I'm not a hypocrite.
Let's take a look at the definition of hypocrisy, shall we? It is the "practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess; falseness". Now you hold that it is wrong to have an affair with a married woman - this is a belief of yours. But you see no problem with helping a woman with a bf cheat.

You practice what you preach in that you do not cheat with married women but do so with women with SOs. Fine.

So prima facie, you are not a not a hypocrite. But let's got a bit further. In order for me to fully respond, I need to hear why you differentiate b/w the two relationships. Why does one hold a certain value that the other doesn't?

If you answer this, I think you may have a chance of seeing how your stance on cheating reveals the hypocrisy in your stance on morality.

People do this all the time. They walk around spouting stuff like, "ohh, I ain't no hypocrite. I say what I mean and do what I say." I don't need to tell you that it's not as simple as that. You only delude yourself if you allow yourseld to apply a mere definition to your actions and excuse as that being "true" to your sense of morals.
 

Purple-Haze

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Mavrick said:
Yes, a hypocrite is someone that does something they said themselves not to do. Did I mess with a married woman? No. Therefore, I'm not a hypocrite.

My morals are just different from yours. That does not make me a hypocrite. I believe that a woman in an LTR is fair game if she's willing to move forward with you (which I thought was going to happen). She deceived me into believing that she was dumping him for me (they were already on the break). When she did not make that break, I moved on.
You edited your post in the time I was writing mine up.

If you she told you she was leaving him for you, that may not constitute cheating in the strict sense. If there was any kind of overlap and he was not informed of it, then that IS cheating.

Are you telling me then that because she did not breakup with him (as promised), you were not willing to put up with that, hence you left her? In which case, why did you leave her?
 

Mavrick

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Purple-Haze said:
Let's take a look at the definition of hypocrisy, shall we? It is the "practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess; falseness". Now you hold that it is wrong to have an affair with a married woman - this is a belief of yours. But you see no problem with helping a woman with a bf cheat.
This does NOT make me a hypocrite. I never said that it was wrong to help a woman cheat on her boyfriend. I didn't make any profession of a belief, feeling, or virtue that stated a woman in a LTR should be untouched.

Whew, so that clears me of hypocrisy. Thanks for helping clear that up.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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