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Morality is *sexy* - in the end, the Good Guy will always beat out the Bad Boy

Trader

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I was thinking about what STR8UP said in the past: that cheating on a girl will often INCREASE her interest towards you - even though you are showing lack of character by cheating, you are showing that you are sexually attractive and have options.

Then I read this thread on sosuave - http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=164976 where convicted murderers have girls sending them love letters.

Then there is the famous Oscar Wilde quote: 'The husbands of very beautiful women often belong to the criminal classes.'

So is it true that a moral man is *unsexy* and an immoral man is sexy?

I believe it is more like this: girls place a higher priority on dominance/masculinity than morality. So given a choice, she will choose the immoral bad boy over the moral AFC.

But if given the choice between two guys both of whom are powerful and masculine, but one has class and character, while the other man lacks it, the girl will choose the former.

So the Good Guy (who has both masculinity AND morals) will beat out the Bad Boy

If a guy lacks character, a girl may even date him, she may sleep with him, but she will *never* respect him.


Then I found this article which really hit home

-----------------------------------------
Here is the great desire of most women: to have the love of a good man.

It's not just any man they want to love them, but a Good one. That's with a capital 'G' for a reason. In fact, she will only be happy if the man is at least a little better than her in some spiritual way. A woman is attracted to a man who has a bit more moral fiber than her. She doesn't want him too, too aware of it. Most women want a man who could qualify as a moral guide and shepherd - at least in life's rough moments. Better if no one talks as if it's true, especially not him. Every woman has her pride. But a man who can also be a spiritual inspiration is ultimately an indispensable for Woman.

The greatest disappointment a man can give a woman is a lapse in his character. She will more easily forgive a lapse of his affections than she will a lapse in character. She needs to be able to respect him well. Indeed, somewhere inside of woman there is a place where she wants to feel, relative to her man, a bit like the child she once was.

A woman wants to find the pure, blissful feelings she once felt with her own father. Don't listen to her if she doesn't remember such moments with her father. Every little girl has at least a few of these moments with a loved male superior. Even if it was one time back when she was three, she may spend eternity trying to find that state again with 'father.'

In that moment, father was like a God. He was perfect. In that moment he is all good, and loves his little girl as if she is the center of the universe. His attention is all on her. Everything she does is wonderful. He seems to be in bliss, because of her own inherent bliss. And this gives her an ever finer bliss. And she will spend her life trying to find it again with another man who can fit the shoes of that father. And of course in those moments, father was better than her in important ways. Father was like a God. He had no flaws. He was all good. This was what a young girl once feels about Dad - even if for a few scattered moments. Thus the man a woman seeks must be a *good man.* Thus she secretly wants to feel that he has something high about him, something mysterious and hard to reach; some kind of mystic purity, an unassailable power. She will want him to love her the way Daddy did. That was a pure love, and after that, what else can really do?

So it all boils down to the search for the love of a Good man.

---------------------------------------------

All of us here on the mature man forum are working on developing our masculinity (i.e take charge attitude, developing ambition, etc), we are all working on our *game* (i.e. how to talk to girls, Prize mentality, etc) but to truly be a *man* - we must develop our character as well.
 

iqqi

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Great post, and I completely agree.

I am am seeing a guy right now who breaks all of the rules and thought processes here at sosuave, and one of the things that is most attractive of all to me is that he seems so moral and strong.

For instance, I have absolutely no inkling of a thought that he'd cheat on me if I got into a relationship with him, and I find that extremely attractive and it makes him seem like the biggest catch ever.

The things that turn me on about him are things that are preached against here, but SHOULD make the most sense. Like morality, kindness (NICE GUY), thoughtfulness, chivalrous nature, and he is not afraid to make it clear that he is serious about being with me.

And then men I have dismissed recently were the ones that had something against women and tried to play games that were completely transparent.

Great article. I concur.
 

Aenigma

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Women don't spread their legs for their father.

/thread
 

horaholic

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iqqi said:
Great post, and I completely agree.

I am am seeing a guy right now who breaks all of the rules and thought processes here at sosuave, and one of the things that is most attractive of all to me is that he seems so moral and strong.

For instance, I have absolutely no inkling of a thought that he'd cheat on me if I got into a relationship with him, and I find that extremely attractive and it makes him seem like the biggest catch ever.

The things that turn me on about him are things that are preached against here, but SHOULD make the most sense. Like morality, kindness (NICE GUY), thoughtfulness, chivalrous nature, and he is not afraid to make it clear that he is serious about being with me.

And then men I have dismissed recently were the ones that had something against women and tried to play games that were completely transparent.

Great article. I concur.
How long have you been with him?

I'd ;ike to know how long you two last.
 

Zunder

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berrrrrrrahhhgggggg....right, just finished puking,
Now, apart from being fluffly nauseos nonsense, where in this article, Trader, does it say what a man expects from a woman?
This is the problem with moralists, they are all thinking from the womens perspective.
Fvck that. I come first. I expect any real DJ on this forum to be of like mind.
 

Jitterbug

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iqqi, get off it. You haven't even slept with that poor sucker yet.

As for the title:

Morality is *sexy* - in the end, the Good Guy will always beat out the Bad Boy
Define "in the end".

Nice Guy gets the girl "in the end" too. You know, after she's gone around the block with Bad Boys a bazillion times and is all used up.

The "in the end" version for a Good Guy gotta be pretty damn good... so enlighten me.
 

taiyuu_otoko

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It's not Morality in an of itself that is attractive to some women, but the fact that he has convictions he's willing to stick by.

Because many share the same convictions (safety, staying out trouble, protecting family, etc) that it is easy to get the two confused.

When someone accepts "morality" or any other code of conduct, but doesn't really believe in it, and is only pretending in order to get some pvssy, then they come across as incongruent, and won't have much luck. when you compromise your beliefs (whatever they are) for a woman, you're pretty much done.

If you have a code of conduct for your own reasons and intentions, and you stick to it, you'll attract her regardless if you are a bank robber or a sunday school teacher.

many guys confuse "niceness" with compromising your beliefs for some female attention. They are not the same thing.

A true "nice guy" does what he wants, for his own reasons, and happens to come across as having a pleasant personality.

An AFC "nice guy" is the guy that gives up his convictions for a date.

Same "actions" with different "intentions."

big difference
 

Stagger Lee

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Long time lurker first time poster. I've read a lot of posts here and they seem to be about this topic.

Trader said:
I believe it is more like this: girls place a higher priority on dominance/masculinity than morality. So given a choice, she will choose the immoral bad boy over the moral AFC.

But if given the choice between two guys both of whom are powerful and masculine, but one has class and character, while the other man lacks it, the girl will choose the former.

So the Good Guy (who has both masculinity AND morals) will beat out the Bad Boy

If a guy lacks character, a girl may even date him, she may sleep with him, but she will *never* respect him.
I don't think "maculinity" is all that uncommon or all that appreciated by women in itself. Also I don't think being masculine and "moral" is mutually exclusive nor is being an "immoral" bad boy necessarily means one is masculine. If women were concerned about a guy having morals, then you wouldn't see so many example of "bad boys" attracting girls and "moral" guys not. My point is yeah you can be a good guy and get girls but morality is not really a factor in females' attraction. Females will subjectively (mis)label a guy good or bad based on their attraction level to him. There are other factors at play and morality isn't really it. My experience with women is that they don't have a good understanding of what is moral and immoral, so how could they be selecting on that?
 

Luthor Rex

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Here is the great desire of most women: to have the love of a good man.

It's not just any man they want to love them, but a Good one. That's with a capital 'G' for a reason. In fact, she will only be happy if the man is at least a little better than her in some spiritual way. A woman is attracted to a man who has a bit more moral fiber than her. She doesn't want him too, too aware of it. Most women want a man who could qualify as a moral guide and shepherd - at least in life's rough moments. Better if no one talks as if it's true, especially not him. Every woman has her pride. But a man who can also be a spiritual inspiration is ultimately an indispensable for Woman.

The greatest disappointment a man can give a woman is a lapse in his character. She will more easily forgive a lapse of his affections than she will a lapse in character. She needs to be able to respect him well. Indeed, somewhere inside of woman there is a place where she wants to feel, relative to her man, a bit like the child she once was.

A woman wants to find the pure, blissful feelings she once felt with her own father. Don't listen to her if she doesn't remember such moments with her father. Every little girl has at least a few of these moments with a loved male superior. Even if it was one time back when she was three, she may spend eternity trying to find that state again with 'father.'

In that moment, father was like a God. He was perfect. In that moment he is all good, and loves his little girl as if she is the center of the universe. His attention is all on her. Everything she does is wonderful. He seems to be in bliss, because of her own inherent bliss. And this gives her an ever finer bliss. And she will spend her life trying to find it again with another man who can fit the shoes of that father. And of course in those moments, father was better than her in important ways. Father was like a God. He had no flaws. He was all good. This was what a young girl once feels about Dad - even if for a few scattered moments. Thus the man a woman seeks must be a *good man.* Thus she secretly wants to feel that he has something high about him, something mysterious and hard to reach; some kind of mystic purity, an unassailable power. She will want him to love her the way Daddy did. That was a pure love, and after that, what else can really do?

So it all boils down to the search for the love of a Good man.
I didn't really get a "be moral" message out of this as much as I got a "be her father replacement" message. Be her leader, set up boundaries, take care of her, etc.
 

piranha45

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taiyuu_otoko said:
It's not Morality in an of itself that is attractive to some women, but the fact that he has convictions he's willing to stick by.

Because many share the same convictions (safety, staying out trouble, protecting family, etc) that it is easy to get the two confused.

When someone accepts "morality" or any other code of conduct, but doesn't really believe in it, and is only pretending in order to get some pvssy, then they come across as incongruent, and won't have much luck. when you compromise your beliefs (whatever they are) for a woman, you're pretty much done.

If you have a code of conduct for your own reasons and intentions, and you stick to it, you'll attract her regardless if you are a bank robber or a sunday school teacher.

many guys confuse "niceness" with compromising your beliefs for some female attention. They are not the same thing.

A true "nice guy" does what he wants, for his own reasons, and happens to come across as having a pleasant personality.

An AFC "nice guy" is the guy that gives up his convictions for a date.

Same "actions" with different "intentions."

big difference
I would rep but can't.

perhaps the argument can be even further simplified by just saying that women want a man with mental stability, and stability itself is just one necessary aspect of a desirable man's personality.
 

Trader

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taiyuu_otoko said:
It's not Morality in an of itself that is attractive to some women, but the fact that he has convictions he's willing to stick by.

Because many share the same convictions (safety, staying out trouble, protecting family, etc) that it is easy to get the two confused.

When someone accepts "morality" or any other code of conduct, but doesn't really believe in it, and is only pretending in order to get some pvssy, then they come across as incongruent, and won't have much luck. when you compromise your beliefs (whatever they are) for a woman, you're pretty much done.

If you have a code of conduct for your own reasons and intentions, and you stick to it, you'll attract her regardless if you are a bank robber or a sunday school teacher.

many guys confuse "niceness" with compromising your beliefs for some female attention. They are not the same thing.
I agree that *consistency* with your actions and beliefs is huge in attracting a girl.

So yes a bank robber with convictions is attractive, but a man who is consistent AND moral is even more attractive.

There is something to be said about girls being in *awe* of a man.

Take Tim Tebow - star QB for Florida. Every girl wants him. Now of course it's because he is a Heisman Trophy Winner on the #1 football team in the US. But there is something else that is uniquely attractive about him. Tim Tebow is known for being a *goody goody* - he even admitted in a press conference that he is still a virgin.

It is a unique combination - a man who is so powerful and dominant on the football field, destroying his competition, overpowering them, yet he is so holy, almost divine, a man who uses his power for good (think back to all the comic book fantasies with the good superhero) That is the *father figure* girls are looking for. A man she can look up to - not just in terms of power, but also spirtually and morally - he has a type of halo surrounding him, like a demi-god.

Every girl would choose a Tim Tebow over the run-of-the-mill bad boy.
 

Trader

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Zunder said:
berrrrrrrahhhgggggg....right, just finished puking,
Now, apart from being fluffly nauseos nonsense, where in this article, Trader, does it say what a man expects from a woman?
This is the problem with moralists, they are all thinking from the womens perspective.
Fvck that. I come first. I expect any real DJ on this forum to be of like mind.
Zunder, there is some history in my posts.

I posted before about being moral, for YOUR own good. In other words, putting yourself first. Having principles you can stand up for, so you can honor yourself and live a life you can be proud of.

But then guys would complain: 'Well, being moral doesn't get me any girls!'

That is the impetus for this thread.

No one is saying: 'Be moral, just so you can get girls.' That would be the AFC mindset.

The point of this thread is: being moral is win-win - it's good for you, AND you get the girls.

Zunder - not everything in life is a zero-sum game. It's not always you VS the girl.
 

Jitterbug

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piranha45 said:
I would rep but can't.

perhaps the argument can be even further simplified by just saying that women want a man with mental stability, and stability itself is just one necessary aspect of a desirable man's personality.
Then how come NPD males often attract a lot of women? And for that matter, certain bipolars, schizos etc. who provide women with plenty of drama for their inner drama addicts.

Trader said:
Take Tim Tebow - star QB for Florida. Every girl wants him. Now of course it's because he is a Heisman Trophy Winner on the #1 football team in the US. But there is something else that is uniquely attractive about him. Tim Tebow is known for being a *goody goody* - he even admitted in a press conference that he is still a virgin.

It is a unique combination - a man who is so powerful and dominant on the football field, destroying his competition, overpowering them, yet he is so holy, almost divine, a man who uses his power for good (think back to all the comic book fantasies with the good superhero) That is the *father figure* girls are looking for. A man she can look up to - not just in terms of power, but also spirtually and morally - he has a type of halo surrounding him, like a demi-god.

Every girl would choose a Tim Tebow over the run-of-the-mill bad boy.
Yeah right. Take his Star QB status away and see how many girls go for him.

What you're seeing there is that his Star QB status has already done the attracting. The rest of his features are backward rationalized by women as "attractive" so that they don't appear as shallow status diggin' hoes.
 

muscleman

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Thread title is very misleading. I get what you're saying, it's what RT posts about all the time. Girls aren't attracted to bad boys because they're bad - they're attracted to them because they possess alpha male qualities.

Morality is also too subjective.

Tim Tebow is famous and is therefore a horrible example of what you're trying to get across. He would get just as much tail regardless of whether he was a goodie two shoes or not.
 

piranha45

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Everyone's perception of morality is different. Example: you probably think that celebrities who donate millions to starving kids in Africa are demonstrating their own morality. I don't, and I am certain that not everyone else would agree with you, nor would everyone else agree with me.

Since there is so much variation among people's moral standards, I don't think it makes any sense to say all women are going to drawn to YOUR individual moral standards.
 

Zunder

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Trader said:
Zunder, there is some history in my posts.

I posted before about being moral, for YOUR own good. In other words, putting yourself first. Having principles you can stand up for, so you can honor yourself and live a life you can be proud of.

But then guys would complain: 'Well, being moral doesn't get me any girls!'

That is the impetus for this thread.

No one is saying: 'Be moral, just so you can get girls.' That would be the AFC mindset.

The point of this thread is: being moral is win-win - it's good for you, AND you get the girls.

Zunder - not everything in life is a zero-sum game. It's not always you VS the girl.
Your morals may not be my morals.
Hence the poblem with such a generic term as "morals".
One man's moral is another man's..........
 
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