"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Modes of Communication

Obsidian

Master Don Juan
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I would like to know if phones are really better (in all circumstances) than email and other text-based services. I've never particularly liked phones, and one of the girls I'm dealing with atm seems really shy. Wouldn't it be just as good to use email or w/e if she seems comfortable with it? Or at least to start out with...

Thoughts, please.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Poll

Don Juan
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the only time when txt or email is better than phone is if the girl sounds like a guy or your mother.
 
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"Email is for geeks and pedophiles." - Sebastian Valmont

Haha, but seriously, email should never be use instead of telephone communication. Of course, you can use a nicely written email to supplement your other interactions (with the benefit being time to think and plan carefully what you will say) but it is never a replacement for real-time communication.

Ask yourself this; do you want to use email because she is shy, or because you are shy?
 

everywomanshero

Master Don Juan
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I use voice and texting both. I almost never use IM or email, but I would definitely go IM over email. I pretty much never email anyone, except for business purposes.

My thoughts: If a chick is just sitting around waiting for email, that's probably not someone who is going to be someone I'd want to bother knowing anyway.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Thomas94305

Senior Don Juan
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The real question is.. is phone or text better to do WHAT? If you're busy, she's busy at a particular time.. email's great. Crap, we communicate through this board, and never call each other.

As for starting things with a woman, building attraction, cutting down on the flaking... I find phone calls are the route to go. If she just gives email, then don't count on much from her. You want to make things between you seem as natural as possible as quickly as possible. A woman that throws you in the email zone now has given you another hurdle to get through. You have to go from email to phone to hanging out, vs phone to just casually going and doing something.
 

Ace_McGregor

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What's the big deal? You call her up, set-up the date, and BAM! that's it. You're only on the phone for a couple of minutes. Why would you use text or email... seems like it would be harder to me.
 

everywomanshero

Master Don Juan
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Text is mostly useful for quick, witty messages, at least that's what I use it for a lot or just tidbits of useless trivia type ****. It can also be useful if you're still green and have trouble getting someone to pickup (this happens to a lot of guys during the newbie mission phase). You can have some interesting txt and then she might pickup, but then it's really so damaged controlled it's not even funny.

I don't just call and get off the phone real fast, though unless I've already gotten a really good timebridge and I know she's beyond down, in many cases I actually make them ask me out more than once before I meet them again. I stay on the phone with them a lot and pretty often. In this way they have already decided to sleep with me by the time we've met. I also get very very little LMR by running solid game, actually I never got much LMR when I didn't run solid game, but I did get a lot of buyer's remorse.
 

Messarger

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Also, according to Mystery's 7 hour rule*, phone game is included too.

*The 7 hour rule is that it takes 7 hours from meeting a woman to having sex with her.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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