JohnChops
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2012
- Messages
- 2,734
- Reaction score
- 481
I would've left if she kept me waiting for 30 mins and she's only a 6?! Holy **** I would've been out of there faster than you could blink.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Chumpher: listen, my very good female friend just got mad at ther boyfriend, do you mind if we just go the three of us to have a drink so I can cheer her up and then we go back to your place?
me: alright.
Translation: You're a chumpy dude who will be my castrated orbiter friend. Stick around!her: hey, I had such a great time with you. You're charming and very funy, I really like you!!
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
HalfPUAHalfAFC said:She was fishing for a guy to hang with that night. She had sent out several "feelers" and there were other options she hoped would come through instead of you.
There was no girlfriend with a boyfriend problem.
Her other options didn't pan out.
One of them kept her hanging past the last minute (i.e., when she agreed you would pick her up).
She didn't dress up because her other option was going to be a more casual get together, probably a FWB situation she didn't need to doll herself up for.
When that fell through, she thought, "What the heck...I might as well go out with him, nothing to lose."
She wanted to go to your place for a few reasons:
1. She didn't want to bump into other guys she was fishing for.
2. She would get a few free drinks and a movie out of it, plus some attention.
3. If you were super smooth and had game to turn her on, she thought maybe it could be a slim chance for a decent lay.
You did not give her the game she wanted or could not turn down. She went through with the "date" because, well, why not. It beats boredom and validates her belief that guys want her.
She doesn't see you as a tier-A guy but a tier-B guy. Decent if that's what you want to be. However, given that she wouldn't let you escalate sexually, I'm guessing she's probably written you off by now.
My advice: move on unless you just want to practice skills for a bang. In any case, she doesn't want to either boyfriend you or even FWB you.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.