JohnChops
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2012
- Messages
- 2,734
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I would've left if she kept me waiting for 30 mins and she's only a 6?! Holy **** I would've been out of there faster than you could blink.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Chumpher: listen, my very good female friend just got mad at ther boyfriend, do you mind if we just go the three of us to have a drink so I can cheer her up and then we go back to your place?
me: alright.
Translation: You're a chumpy dude who will be my castrated orbiter friend. Stick around!her: hey, I had such a great time with you. You're charming and very funy, I really like you!!
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
HalfPUAHalfAFC said:She was fishing for a guy to hang with that night. She had sent out several "feelers" and there were other options she hoped would come through instead of you.
There was no girlfriend with a boyfriend problem.
Her other options didn't pan out.
One of them kept her hanging past the last minute (i.e., when she agreed you would pick her up).
She didn't dress up because her other option was going to be a more casual get together, probably a FWB situation she didn't need to doll herself up for.
When that fell through, she thought, "What the heck...I might as well go out with him, nothing to lose."
She wanted to go to your place for a few reasons:
1. She didn't want to bump into other guys she was fishing for.
2. She would get a few free drinks and a movie out of it, plus some attention.
3. If you were super smooth and had game to turn her on, she thought maybe it could be a slim chance for a decent lay.
You did not give her the game she wanted or could not turn down. She went through with the "date" because, well, why not. It beats boredom and validates her belief that guys want her.
She doesn't see you as a tier-A guy but a tier-B guy. Decent if that's what you want to be. However, given that she wouldn't let you escalate sexually, I'm guessing she's probably written you off by now.
My advice: move on unless you just want to practice skills for a bang. In any case, she doesn't want to either boyfriend you or even FWB you.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.