Men, why do you do this after a first date?

[bizzym]

I would be nice for all of that to be nice, and mention going out again because I wanted to go out again.

Contact to continue to learn more about her before setting up the next date.

OP this is where you dropped the ball. He wanted to see you again, that’s why he contacted you. He was trying gauge your interest didn’t give enough and he picked up on that.

“

When he was walking me to the car he reached his hand out to help me off the curb, but I had something in it so I was unable to grab his hand and he was like, “oh. oh. he’s reaching out his hand. What is he doing”, I guess to make fun of himself for trying to be a gentleman?

That was his insecurity talking, gauging your romantic interest. He was still in the process of getting a gauge for your interest for him and almost every step of the way you showed him your lack of interest.

 

[gettinit]

Its refreshing to see the shoe on the other foot. Your behavior wreaks of disrespect and disinterest. He went out of his way for you. Why not do the same back like offer to make him dinner or some other "interested" gesture? The line between pursuit and damaging your self respect can be a bit thin and two ignored texts after a date would certainly trigger a yellow (if not a red) light for me. I'll add my name to the list of: If you are still interested in this guy, it looks to be on you to get the ball rolling again. Simple as that.

 

[MrWood]

Later he asked if I was okay and we exchanged a few texts and I eventually didn't respond.

Kinda says it all, dont it OP?

You didnt even drop the ball...
you quit playing.

 

[Roober]

If he runs his own business and frequently has to work extra hours, I doubt a woman with lukewarm interest draws much attention. He will likely be more attentive when he gets more time or you put in more.

From an outsider, he seems insecure to repeatedly ask "are you okay?" It's very likely tied to why he is playing it so slow as well...

 

[Doctor Europeo]

OP stop f0cking around and invite him over to your place to "watch a movie and drink some wine".

 

[Atom Smasher]

@tiziki
Where's my answer to the private message I sent you?

When a mod messages you and requests a reply, it's a good idea to reply.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Just a few questions, because I thought I had displayed high interest:

1. so him dropping me off wasn’t just to be nice?
2. what does the “car deal” have to do with me showing interest, or lack there of?
3. What’s an example of interest over text? I’ve teased a little bit over text.

An example of interest?
"Hey I haven't heard from you in a while, just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you."

"Hey I had such a good time the other night! Looking forward to seeing you again!"

This should be obvious...its not rocket science.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

he saw my insta before we went out and complimented my looks during the date. So I don’t think that’s the case.

But to answer your question, not toot my own horn but im pretty attractive. 5’1 115
DD, 25 waist, 37 inch hips. Curly hair, tan skin...I’m biracial.

So are you actually interested in this guy or not? If you are, you are making it really hard on yourself, FYI.

Like what do you view him as? A guy you could see a future with, a FWB, only friends?

 

[CBear]

Lol just looked at @Atom Smasher comment.

Guys, don't ever be down if a girl "ghosts" you, isn't receptive or isn't initiating after seemingly having a decent or good time with you in person. They're thoughts and approach to life is very disorganized and they're like that with many people as can be seen. Instead, be glad that you won't have to deal with consistently bizarre behavior.

 

[Atom Smasher]

We've been ghosted methinks. Our time of utility may be over.

 

[Ohso-Phresh]

I bet she's seeing another forum. We must have over-messaged and she lost interest.

Dammit, we were supposed to only reply sparingly.

Yeah man, sounded like a bunch of girls in here.