"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Men, why do you do this after a first date?

bizzym

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I would be nice for all of that to be nice, and mention going out again because I wanted to go out again.

Contact to continue to learn more about her before setting up the next date.
OP this is where you dropped the ball. He wanted to see you again, that’s why he contacted you. He was trying gauge your interest didn’t give enough and he picked up on that.

“
When he was walking me to the car he reached his hand out to help me off the curb, but I had something in it so I was unable to grab his hand and he was like, “oh. oh. he’s reaching out his hand. What is he doing”, I guess to make fun of himself for trying to be a gentleman?
That was his insecurity talking, gauging your romantic interest. He was still in the process of getting a gauge for your interest for him and almost every step of the way you showed him your lack of interest.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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gettinit

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Its refreshing to see the shoe on the other foot. Your behavior wreaks of disrespect and disinterest. He went out of his way for you. Why not do the same back like offer to make him dinner or some other "interested" gesture? The line between pursuit and damaging your self respect can be a bit thin and two ignored texts after a date would certainly trigger a yellow (if not a red) light for me. I'll add my name to the list of: If you are still interested in this guy, it looks to be on you to get the ball rolling again. Simple as that.
 

Roober

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If he runs his own business and frequently has to work extra hours, I doubt a woman with lukewarm interest draws much attention. He will likely be more attentive when he gets more time or you put in more.

From an outsider, he seems insecure to repeatedly ask "are you okay?" It's very likely tied to why he is playing it so slow as well...
 

Doctor Europeo

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OP stop f0cking around and invite him over to your place to "watch a movie and drink some wine".
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Atom Smasher

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@tiziki
Where's my answer to the private message I sent you?

When a mod messages you and requests a reply, it's a good idea to reply.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Just a few questions, because I thought I had displayed high interest:
  1. so him dropping me off wasn’t just to be nice?
  2. what does the “car deal” have to do with me showing interest, or lack there of?
  3. What’s an example of interest over text? I’ve teased a little bit over text.
An example of interest?
"Hey I haven't heard from you in a while, just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you."

"Hey I had such a good time the other night! Looking forward to seeing you again!"

This should be obvious...its not rocket science.
 

BackInTheGame78

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he saw my insta before we went out and complimented my looks during the date. So I don’t think that’s the case.

But to answer your question, not toot my own horn but im pretty attractive. 5’1 115
DD, 25 waist, 37 inch hips. Curly hair, tan skin...I’m biracial.
So are you actually interested in this guy or not? If you are, you are making it really hard on yourself, FYI.

Like what do you view him as? A guy you could see a future with, a FWB, only friends?
 

CBear

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Lol just looked at @Atom Smasher comment.

Guys, don't ever be down if a girl "ghosts" you, isn't receptive or isn't initiating after seemingly having a decent or good time with you in person. They're thoughts and approach to life is very disorganized and they're like that with many people as can be seen. Instead, be glad that you won't have to deal with consistently bizarre behavior.
 

Atom Smasher

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We've been ghosted methinks. Our time of utility may be over.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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